my story and intro

hellooo im ash im 15 and use they/he pronouns !
all my life I was brought up Christian, my mother (not so much my father but more towards that belive point), aunts and uncles who worked un the church, everyone was Christian. and then there was me, the trans, bisexual, punk child. i was always different, whether brought out by my adhd or my depression. i went to a Christian school my whole life, I lived and breathed the church for 10 years, everyday. then an incident happened that frankly has possibly destroyed my connections with the church and "god." our youth pastor... took a liking to me. a sinful lust as some call it. 23 and 13, immoral. after it all i left the school, went to an arts school to pursue my artistic talent for digital art, met a girl, met some friends, learned about myself. i became everything you all hate (tbh, probably still am) i was/am goth, satanic, i worshiped Baphomet, i owned a satanic bible, i was one of the occult, i practice/d witchcraft. i became devil incarnate. did drugs, started smoking weed. look at the top again, still 15. I've been looking for something, comfort in religion i guess. after losing both brother, my aunt, grandparents, and nearly my mom (cancer surivior), i became resentful to god. who could give one such a life and when i called out for salavtion fro my pastor, answers to who killed my brother, something. i was given tragedy after tragedy. i have lost insight and hope in god. who could make such a world where children are tortured by older men, sold and bought and killed like livestock? does he hear their cries? most never get to know about him, they die alone. but. I'm willing to give this whole... Christianity thing another go. if you all could give me advice (please don't give basic advice like just pray, i did that for 13 years of my life everyday).
- Ash
(picture of me and my gang, I'm the one with the flower crown)

Oyster likes you. Lots of potential. You will find out what Jesus is really like someday, and you will be surprised at how cool He is. It was not God who messed the world up. It was idiot people like you and me. Hang around for a while. Don't just say something really dumb and get yourself banned. Oyster likes you.

There is really not that much comfort to be found in religion, but there is a whole lot to be found in Jesus. I love you, Ash, and Jesus loves you more. Feel free to ask lots of questions. We are all here to learn and grow and support one another. Welcome, Ash.

Welcome Ash. There are so many things I could say, but it is difficult to discern what would be acceptable to you without turning you off from God. I will say that at 15, your life is just beginning, and, God willing, you will have many more years to live and learn.

One point I will make is that God does not "tickle peoples ears" with things they WANT to hear. God speaks ONLY Truth. The Bible is the Book of Truth. It does not use sweetly spun stories to make a person feel good about themselves. My advice is that you first determine if you are serious about seeking God and His loving mercy and grace.

Christianity is NOT something one "tries" from time to time, or now and again. Christianity is a LIFE LONG commitment to God, and turning ones life over to God and dying to "self."

Christianity is NOT a "trend" one does to appear cool. It is hard work and requires personal sacrifice, BUT the rewards are out of this world. Read the Bible...........Read the Bible.......Read the Bible. Start there. IF after you have read the Bible, you feel the Holy Spirit reaching out to you, touching your heart and soul, calling you to God, THEN you must decide IF you are willing to commit yourself to God by asking Jesus to come into your life as your Lord and Savior.

Christianity is NOT a game. Those who "play" at Christianity will find their lives are lived in vain.