Should men be able to express themselves in a relationship?

I think it depends on the spouse/wife. I think many women would want an expressive spouse, and vice versa. Communication is key, especially when it comes to expressing love for eachother (many spouses do not tell eachother, or parents towards their children, the simple "I love you."). At the same time, if the spouse is always being a downer, the other spouse may want some space. I think it depends on each person's tolerance level on how much they are able to handle stress and how "deep" they are. Personally, another person's anxiety/worry would worry me easily, so I would prefer if my spouse is selective in what I need to know.

Hi Encouragement
Good to see you! I was wondering where you were gone, haha.

Interesting topic, and one that I've thought about a few times, myself.
I have to admit I'm a bit torn about this.

Because, on the one hand, I do believe it's important for a man to be able to express his feelings and thoughts and just be vulnerable. Because not only will he feel relieved and lighter (hopefully?)*, but being vulnerable with another person creates intimacy, which strengthens the bond between two people. And women do need to feel like they're emotionally connected to their partners in order to truly be fulfilled.
*what if men actually feel worse after opening up? Especially to their partners? (I think I read something like that once, but not sure if that's true or not. Perhaps it could be related to feeling "weak" and therefore creating a sense of unease in the man).

However, and this is where I must try and be delicate with my words, I have observed (and even experienced) a loss of "respect" from women for a man who is "mopey". I know that many women experience that, even if they deny it. I don't think it's something that's easy to admit, because it makes us look bad. But I'm just being honest. It almost seems like an instinctual reaction.

There's something quite off-putting about a man who can't find the 'strength' to handle his emotions or life situations.

Now, I'm not saying that any kind of vulnerability is an instant turn-off, of course! But there seems to be a kind of... unspoken desire, for a woman, to be with a man who is "strong". A man who can handle things, you know?

Perhaps what would make a difference, is if a man expresses his struggles and vulnerabilities but adopts a pro-active, "solution-oriented" approach, and not a defeatist, hopeless approach. I think that would change things quite considerably.

So for example, he could share that he's been feeling X, Y and Z (fearful, sad, unmotivated, etc.) but at the same time say that he intends to come out of it, and not remain stuck in that place. A fighter's attitude, so to speak. And moreso, an attitude of faith and hope. I think that would make a great difference.

Does that make sense?

I wonder if men feel the same way about women who show their vulnerable side? Or not at all?

Hopefully I haven't offended anyone with my words... Just kinda thinking "out loud" here.

Not offensive at all actually. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ! I'm Russian and in our culture the man has to be strong and it's taught to always show it even in times when you feel weak. For a woman to see that from a man shows that he is able to handle anything life throws at him.

Forgive me I don't intend to derail the thread just got fired up 😆

If a man feels safe enough to be vulnerable, that is rare and should be honored. Men don’t typically have a safe space to do this within the confines, and expectations they experience on a daily basis, of society.

I think a man should express himself, probably wants/needs to, but, men have have been taught not to express themselves, cos it's not a "manly" thing to do.

Not offensive at all actually. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ! I'm Russian and in our culture the man has to be strong and it's taught to always show it even in times when you feel weak. For a woman to see that from a man shows that he is able to handle anything life throws at him.

Ahah! I was born there, so I get it (Привет!) Definitely quite a prominent thing there. I think it has its upsides, though there needs to be some space for honest discussions as well (for men). I believe having faith in God changes things drastically. A man who can rely on God in everything he does and be confident in HIM is very admirable.

I think there are men who are like that and "They are special" I once had a man like that... I loved how he can read me when I was sad,happy,confused,pretending to be ok,not telling the truth and upset.. I really valued how he showed me that I was the most important person in his life 😦 I loved how he made me feel... I loved how he cared for me.... How he showed interest to whatever I spoke and how he Cared to ask For my opinions and listened to my blah ...he valued every word I spoke and listened to my nonsense stories...He even thought that I was smart lol 😅

He was good in expressing himself... He showed to me the vulnerable and the sweetest side of himself... He opened up to me and allowed me to see his—flaws, about the things from his past, Good or bad...

He would tell me if something bothered him when he was upset or hurt or annoyed...

He was really special. I am really glad our paths crossed I am praying for him a good and wonderful life ahead❤

Hi folks just a pretty straightforward question really.
In a relationship do you think it's important for a guy to be able to express himself.Many guys in general can express anger for example which is a powerful forceful amount of emotional energy...what what about sharing his innermost feelings?Things that hurt him,fears,concerns ect..traumas?
Many women have been frustrated as their partner doesn't express how he really feels or thinks about certain things and therefore makes it difficult for her understand his point of view and if he feels sad,anxious or even worried about things in life.
Unfortunately various cultures as well a society can dictate how men express themselves mentally and emotionally and some can see expressing certain emotions as being unmanly or weak.Also in the home many fathers don't express themselves emotionally to their sons so many sons can grow up not being emotionally self aware.
Some men are lead to believe they aren't supposed to cry,be scared...be vulnerable ect...so many men at times seek to hide these things and put on a front which isn't a reflection of who they REALLY are.Many feel the constant pressure or demand to be strong,the leader....the warrior type figure...
Personally I have no problems expressing my emotions verbally e t because of having to go through counselling in the past and just being really aware of that's going on inside me.Anyway it be good to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Look forward to hear from you.
Just how important is it for a guy to be able to express himself in a relationship emotionally and mentally...coz some guys say they dont do emotions..🤦🏼‍♂️

Not sure why you posting this in singles though! More of a family issue if a couple is trying for a family.

Or the User2User Tech Support Forum.

If you don't express yourself you probably will not be in a relationship in the first place.