Help Me!

I am losing my mind.

Every medication I have tried for my mental illness has failed. They do not work together with my other meds, so my doctor has run out of options for me. She calls it "treatment-resistant". I'm not getting better.

I've been told by other people, including my mom, to get over it. It's been years now, and she is becoming tired of me. No one supports me anymore, so I'm suffering alone. My parents help cover expenses, but I don't know how long that will last as I'm 23 now.

Two weeks ago at church during a sermon, I had a panic attack and fell to the ground crying. I was then literally dragged out of service by three people. Then I found out later my pastor announced to the whole church that I was manifesting demons.

From my internet research, I believed they performed an exorcism on me. I can't remember all that happened because I fainted as they were dragging me. However, when I woke up there were 9 people surrounding me, holding me down and speaking strange languages. They forced me to stay until I confessed: "Jesus Christ is Lord".

Sometimes I have flashbacks of being assaulted as a child. My doctor tells me that it is related to PTSD from my adolescent years when I was abused. And recently I have been having scary dreams that cause me to wake up screaming and jumping out of bed. My dreams always end up with someone attacking/assaulting me. This hasn't happened before.

I don't know what is real anymore.

I'm afraid that my problem is demonic, that may be why meds are not working.

I'm really scared. I don't want to live like this. What did I do to allow demons inside of me?

Please pray for me to have a sound mind and not give in to suicidal thoughts.

I am losing my mind.

Every medication I have tried for my mental illness has failed. They do not work together with my other meds, so my doctor has run out of options for me. She calls it "treatment-resistant". I'm not getting better.

I've been told by other people, including my mom, to get over it. It's been years now, and she is becoming tired of me. No one supports me anymore, so I'm suffering alone. My parents help cover expenses, but I don't know how long that will last as I'm 23 now.

Two weeks ago at church during a sermon, I had a panic attack and fell to the ground crying. I was then literally dragged out of service by three people. Then I found out later my pastor announced to the whole church that I was manifesting demons.

From my internet research, I believed they performed an exorcism on me. I can't remember all that happened because I fainted as they were dragging me. However, when I woke up there were 9 people surrounding me, holding me down and speaking strange languages. They forced me to stay until I confessed: "Jesus Christ is Lord".

Sometimes I have flashbacks of being assaulted as a child. My doctor tells me that it is related to PTSD from my adolescent years when I was abused. And recently I have been having scary dreams that cause me to wake up screaming and jumping out of bed. My dreams always end up with someone attacking/assaulting me. This hasn't happened before.

I don't know what is real anymore.

I'm afraid that my problem is demonic, that may be why meds are not working.

I'm really scared. I don't want to live like this. What did I do to allow demons inside of me?

I am losing my mind.

Every medication I have tried for my mental illness has failed. They do not work together with my other meds, so my doctor has run out of options for me. She calls it "treatment-resistant". I'm not getting better.

I've been told by other people, including my mom, to get over it. It's been years now, and she is becoming tired of me. No one supports me anymore, so I'm suffering alone. My parents help cover expenses, but I don't know how long that will last as I'm 23 now.

Two weeks ago at church during a sermon, I had a panic attack and fell to the ground crying. I was then literally dragged out of service by three people. Then I found out later my pastor announced to the whole church that I was manifesting demons.

From my internet research, I believed they performed an exorcism on me. I can't remember all that happened because I fainted as they were dragging me. However, when I woke up there were 9 people surrounding me, holding me down and speaking strange languages. They forced me to stay until I confessed: "Jesus Christ is Lord".

Sometimes I have flashbacks of being assaulted as a child. My doctor tells me that it is related to PTSD from my adolescent years when I was abused. And recently I have been having scary dreams that cause me to wake up screaming and jumping out of bed. My dreams always end up with someone attacking/assaulting me. This hasn't happened before.

I don't know what is real anymore.

I'm afraid that my problem is demonic, that may be why meds are not working.

I'm really scared. I don't want to live like this. What did I do to allow demons inside of me?

I am losing my mind.

Every medication I have tried for my mental illness has failed. They do not work together with my other meds, so my doctor has run out of options for me. She calls it "treatment-resistant". I'm not getting better.

I've been told by other people, including my mom, to get over it. It's been years now, and she is becoming tired of me. No one supports me anymore, so I'm suffering alone. My parents help cover expenses, but I don't know how long that will last as I'm 23 now.

Two weeks ago at church during a sermon, I had a panic attack and fell to the ground crying. I was then literally dragged out of service by three people. Then I found out later my pastor announced to the whole church that I was manifesting demons.

From my internet research, I believed they performed an exorcism on me. I can't remember all that happened because I fainted as they were dragging me. However, when I woke up there were 9 people surrounding me, holding me down and speaking strange languages. They forced me to stay until I confessed: "Jesus Christ is Lord".

Sometimes I have flashbacks of being assaulted as a child. My doctor tells me that it is related to PTSD from my adolescent years when I was abused. And recently I have been having scary dreams that cause me to wake up screaming and jumping out of bed. My dreams always end up with someone attacking/assaulting me. This hasn't happened before.

I don't know what is real anymore.

I'm afraid that my problem is demonic, that may be why meds are not working.

I'm really scared. I don't want to live like this. What did I do to allow demons inside of me?

I am losing my mind.

Every medication I have tried for my mental illness has failed. They do not work together with my other meds, so my doctor has run out of options for me. She calls it "treatment-resistant". I'm not getting better.

I've been told by other people, including my mom, to get over it. It's been years now, and she is becoming tired of me. No one supports me anymore, so I'm suffering alone. My parents help cover expenses, but I don't know how long that will last as I'm 23 now.

Two weeks ago at church during a sermon, I had a panic attack and fell to the ground crying. I was then literally dragged out of service by three people. Then I found out later my pastor announced to the whole church that I was manifesting demons.

From my internet research, I believed they performed an exorcism on me. I can't remember all that happened because I fainted as they were dragging me. However, when I woke up there were 9 people surrounding me, holding me down and speaking strange languages. They forced me to stay until I confessed: "Jesus Christ is Lord".

Sometimes I have flashbacks of being assaulted as a child. My doctor tells me that it is related to PTSD from my adolescent years when I was abused. And recently I have been having scary dreams that cause me to wake up screaming and jumping out of bed. My dreams always end up with someone attacking/assaulting me. This hasn't happened before.

I don't know what is real anymore.

I'm afraid that my problem is demonic, that may be why meds are not working.

I'm really scared. I don't want to live like this. What did I do to allow demons inside of me?

Demons do not exist ... Don"t go to church for the time being ...
This is not a demonic problem but a mental disorder due to past abuses !
This happens too often and have lifelong impact. May God put love on all your roads, someone who will cherish you ...

what do you mean demons don't exist of course they do..have you not read the accounts in the new testament of people being tormented/affected by evil spirits..??
crazy!

I disagree with you the OP is not a demon ! I read the bible so many times, having to memorize it, painful ... If you want to understand the NT you have to understand the culture in which it was written. In those time, you sneezed, this was a demon, a storm, another demon, you were deaf, a demon, blind, another demon, and so on. Our generation is much more clever and knowledgeable. What I am trying to say is that the bible cannot be taken literally, word by word. Think about it and uses your critical mind to see the truth ...

Please pray for me to have a sound mind and not give in to suicidal thoughts.

In regards to the OP not being caused by a demon is really something that only God himself knows not us..I have personally experienced many struggles at an emotional and psychological level that has been spiritual in origin which I have been set free from..and the accounts I had new testament of people being set free from evil spirits are not written in a metaphorical sense..they are written as an actual account.
I can personally testify to understanding this spiritual dynamic to human life as a Christian and of course not everything is spiritual.
In fact our generation is at times more ignorant to how the kingdom of darkness operates..things like Harry Potter...and many other things are expressions if this kingdom..
I have been through dark times of suicidal thoughts mental torments..levels of mental illness and know the various methodologies available..Nothing worked for me..
my struggles were not flesh and blood and it took a while to grasp this...God set me free from the spiritual forces that were the root cause..it was a real experience..not some mind trick ect..
Demons do exist and the bible gives us a very clear insight into this invisible realm which we have the victory through jesus to overcome.

Thanks for your testimony ! We agree on many things but have different explanations for it. Yours is based on old-culture perceptions, mine is based on irrefutable modern science ! In regard to the OP, God gives me the gift of discernment, and it is clear that "not_abandoned_2020" is a good person, who will overcome her mental disorder and be a great citizen of this world.

I spoke with my pastor. I told him everything. He and his wife both sat and spoke with me for a long time.

He apologized for upsetting me with his announcement to the church about demons. I asked him what I should do. He told me that he and his wife love me and will be there to support me if I needed it. They told me that I am welcome to come back and be a part of their church community. Also, they told me that the people who prayed over me were all pastors and some medically trained. They were mostly concerned because I was thrashing around and saying strange things. I thought they performed an exorcism, but they really were just praying for me and holding me to stop me from running out of the church. Some people thought I was going to hurt myself.

As for the demon thing...One of the people who dragged me away told the pastor that I was manifesting demons, and he announced it. He wasn't in the room when I was being prayed for, so he can't be sure what happened. He said it isn't anything to be worried about being judged for because a lot of people were concerned and asking if I was okay.

The pastor's wife is trained in counseling and said my mental illness may be emotional, chemical, spiritual, or a combination of all three. It's hard to know without a doctor present. But she does not believe I am possessed, just oppressed by the negative thoughts and voices I have in my mind. She said that the voices are trying to convince me of what is not true. She said that I am not evil or crazy, and God loves me very much.

As for treatment, I don't know how that will go. I may have to travel out of the city to a more specialized medical center, and someone from the church will help me with transportation if I need it.

My church turned out to be supportive and all-around amazing.

Thank you all for responding. It gave me the courage to reach out for help. Thank the Lord for His blessings!

I disagree with you the OP is not a demon !