I hope you're never tested like Job. I don't think very many people live through trauma and come out the other side without questioning God.
He says He wants truth in our innermost being and I think that He would respect someone who was honest about their sincere doubts.
I read of a young girl who was a gung ho christian and then she was brutally raped. She couldn't line up a loving God with Him watching that happen to her. She left the faith.
I can understand her. Why aren't we telling God He should act?
There are just too many discrepancies.
Read pilgrim's progress.
Read fox's book of martyrs.
It is important that you come through this dilemma that you find yourself in.
You have something special.
Your testimony can help thousands.
Even your current mindset.
You will be able to help others that are saying "christianity is a fraud"... "God sees horrible things and does nothing"
We must not go there.
Step into faith.
We must do that.
Once you do,a marvelous walk will begin
You must read those books.
You will get an impartation when you weep over their horrible endings.
You will see your deal as very minimal.
I gave you tools in your handing earlier posts.
You never even acknowledge anything.
Either get going into victory or go pout.
That bitterness will consume you.
Something in you HAS TO RISE UP.
You must activate the "hey,wait a minute,I dont have to put up with this"
I put a sword in your hand. Now go decapitate that demon.
The hour is late,you can not waste anymore time.
He is eating your lunch friend