I'm 40, but all these years later, I am still having a very hard time letting go of how I was bullied for most of my school life. I was also bullied by teachers, and adults in my extended family. I was picked on relentlessly for everything from my weight, to my hair, to my skin, to my clothes, the way I walked, talked, etc... You name it, I was bullied for it. My self esteem has been crap my whole life. I had great parents, and a good brother - but he was popular, and used to tell me the bullying was all in my head. He just didn't get it. And most people still don't get it now. I live in the small town where I grew up, and I have to run into people I graduated with on a regular basis. When I do, it takes me right back to that time, when I was just a nobody. Even though I have a happy marriage, two great kids, a good job, etc... I'm still transported back to those days, and I feel worthless, all over again. I've seen counselors for this, and I've sought out help for it in other ways. I just don't know why this is such an endless cycle of torment in my mind. And, to top it all off, I recently found some of my Dad's biological family, as he was adopted. They want nothing to do with me, and haven't given me a reason why, either. Besides my husband, our kids, my mother and my brother, I feel completely rejected in this life.
Please, pray for me so I can finally let all this go.
Hello TaraSkype thanks for joining us here and tanks for making time to type out your situation.One thing i can say that it is good that you have been able to get married and have a family unit as well as work as i know some people who just couldn't cope with such things due to the same kinda things you mentioned.
When we suffer traumatic life experiences the effects of the things we went through can last for many years long after the events have happened.It's like when you throw a stone into calm waters...the ripple effect spreads out continually far beyond the point where the stone impacts the water.
It is possible to re live these events all over again and the inner emotional and psychological wounds are forever alive and you become engulfed in painful experiences and there can seem no way out.
My dear I am not surprised that your self esteem has been low for such a long time and I give God thanks that you have been able to form emotionally intimate relationships ie husband/children regardless if this.The levels of rejection you experienced from others has been terrible for you and of all things you end up seeing certain individuals from the past which will naturally trigger things within you just like it all happened yesterday.
I have been through the same path you have and I can most definitely relate.I used to see a counsellor back in the day but they were unable to stop the traumas at the time.
Medically they call what you have as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)..means a traumatic life experience is still affecting you very much years after it happened.
1)The 1st thing to remember is that what happened to you waa the work of the enemie 1000% working through those individuals.
2)His plan is to rob you of freedom and wants to keep you in bondage to your past
3)Jesus died for you so that you can be free.
There IS A WAY OUT.The bullying and rejection and trauma you are experiencing does NOT define you.
These feeling of low self worth,self floating are all LYING experiences that in no way reflects the real you.
You need spiritual counselling that involves prayer for emotional and psychological healing in jesus name.Udually there is a process to go through as God peals back each layer to get to the core of who you really are within..
..you are the child within that just wanted to be loved...but instead was rejected and abused....
I believe in you and is there a church you Hi to that belive in the holy spirit,prayer etc?
There is also great literature/christian websites around that will give you a deeper insight into your situation.I can post them here for you like.My point...theres IS a way out and what the enemie has done to you he has done to millions..He just was able to influence those around you to wound you so deeply and yes God is here to heal you in jesus name.🙏🏻🙏🏻👍
Will power will not give you the victory Tara..but the power of the name of jesus and what has has done for you is MORE than enough...There IS a definite hope of victory for you..You can be a different YOU.😊😊
Cause I will pray God you.
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