How do I respond to my skeptic daughter?

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Heal103

New member
#1
Aug 15, 2020
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I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
 
Demi777

Demi777

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Its on her to choose if she will continue on the path or not. She may drift off for a while. Maybe even years but that doesnt mean she wont find her way back. Let her walk her walk and keep praying (thats the most important rhing)
Sometimes people have to expeeience the other side before realising that it really isnt worth it in the long run
 
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bojack

Well-known member
#3
Dec 16, 2019
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Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
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Whatever you fill yourself with is what comes out ..
 
PennEd

PennEd

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#4
Apr 22, 2013
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Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
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Has she been born again?
 
G

Grandpa

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#6
Jun 24, 2011
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Psalm 14:1-3
1The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

2 The Lord looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.

3 They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.


1 John 1:7-9
7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
 
tourist

tourist

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Mar 13, 2014
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#7
The prodigal son in the bible eventually realized his foolishness and decided to return back to his father and to God. God understands the human condition quite well, especially the youth.

Your daughter may yet return back to God. It says in the bible that every word was inspired for God for spiritual correction and growth. It also says that the Word of God is never returned void.

I believe that the youth group leader was biblically and spiritually naïve. Everyone, regardless of the type of sins they commit are going to hell, including the sins committed by the youth group leader, unless they confess their sins to the Lord, ask for forgiveness and invite the Holy Spirit to live inside of them to comfort and guide in the life-long repentance process.

Perhaps you can assist her in finding a new church home that is less condemning and more loving just as God is love, and of course, continue to pray for your daughter to come to know and love the Lord. There are others here that are going through the same thing so please know that you are not alone in this. My wife is going through something similar with her daughter who is much older than yours.

Glad to have you as part of our family. Welcome to CC.
 
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bojack

Well-known member
#8
Dec 16, 2019
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#8
Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
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My oldest son went to college and was indoctrinated lol . He accepted Jesus at an early age and was a good kid , still a good man but he drank the cool aid from college .. He hit some trouble times and I had an opportunity to talk with him quite a bit . We discussed it a bit and he couldn't understand how he had been duped and re-programmed .. He slowly began to pray and see again and he recovered but still could use improvement , He started reading the Bible and praying again, cleaned up his filthy mouth he'd picked up .. I'm still waiting on Jesus to really revive him and set him on fire .. As a parent we all think they can do better and pray .. I pray that Jesus send His Spirit and a next great revival of restoration and thirst sets our youth on fire ...
 
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TheDivineWatermark

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#9
Aug 3, 2018
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Many good questions, Heal103... and welcome to CC.

Glad to have you, and hope to see you around the boards. = )



To address just a small part of your overall OP, I'm always baffled at the atheists' [etc] claim that the Bible is endorsing "oppression of women," considering the following events (which occurred just after Jesus' resurrection), especially in a day and age [in that era of history and in that setting] when a woman's word was not considered good enough to use "in court" / "to determine a verdict" / to ascertain the truth of a matter... JUST WHY would Jesus [/God] have chosen A WOMAN to be the FIRST ONE to whom He would APPEAR and to whom HE WOULD GIVE [HER] a very specific ASSIGNMENT of (some of THE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS OF "TESTIMONY" ever to be conveyed) "GO TO MY BRETHREN and SAY UNTO THEM, *I ASCEND*..."... and THEN later that same day, appear before "the eleven" [who we KNOW were ALL MALES] where Scripture informs us of what Jesus then said to THEM/the MALES (Mk16:14): "Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and UPBRAIDED/REBUKED them with their UNBELIEF and HARDNESS OF HEART, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen." [i.e. MM being one of those persons who had seen Him and TOLD them... and indeed was the "FIRST"!]

Luke 24 -

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene
(John 20:10-18)

"9 And having risen early the first day of the week, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom He had cast out seven demons. 10 She having gone, told it to those having been with Him, mourning and weeping. 11 And they having heard that He is alive and has been seen by her, disbelieved."
[see also John 20:17-18 "Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that he had spoken these things TO HER."]



Now, why should I believe the "atheists' " take on things, that the Bible is all about "[supposedly] oppression of women" when Jesus DELIBERATELY CHOSE *a woman* to be the "FIRST" to whom He "APPEARED" and to whom He had given such a privileged and glorious directive to carry out (in such an era), and further, REBUKED the MEN to whom she TOLD THIS (per His directive)?

Furthermore, if this were simply a "made up story [written by mere men]," why on earth would they have written the story IN THIS WAY? IOW, how would they have benefitted in their [viewpoint] of "oppression of women" by telling it in such a way (that incriminated the MEN, in this scene, instead)? How did this "oppress women" (per their [supposed] [human-] objective/made-up-story)? [if indeed it were merely "a made up story" by "mere men"... It isn't. And it doesn't. = ) ]
 
F

ForestGreenCook

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#10
Jul 8, 2018
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#10
Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
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Here is my belief, you can take it for what it's worth.

Hohosexuality is a sin, but so are a lot of other things that all of us are guilty of. If she has evidences of being one of those that Christ died for, she is going to be in heaven when she passes from this life. I have a sister, who claims to be a homosectual. I love here dearly, and have told her that she is a sinner, but am assured she will dwell in heaven, because of the other evidences that I see in her. If you would like scripture for my beliefs , just ask.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

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Jul 18, 2017
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#11
Heal103 said:
My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion?
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The simplest way to deal with this is to point the skeptic to Christ Himself. What does the Bible says about the Lord Jesus Christ in the Gospels? That should be the sole focus until a person repents. After all He Himself is our Salvation.

As to social media, they should have been banned before they were even introduced. So if a person wants the truth there should be a total avoidance of all social media as well as YouTube (which are simply tools of Satan).
 
T

throughfaith

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#13
Aug 4, 2020
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Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
Click to expand...
Pray , pray and pray . I'm the only believer in my family . Keep pointing to Jesus . He is what she needs . Keep reading the bible , your daughter will see your love for Jesus as you can respond to her questions ,from the bible . She will see the reality of your faith . If She is not yet saved , then the above still stands. The Gospel is power of God to salvation. Jesus died for her sins ,He loves her and he's not far from her for her to call upon Him for salvation. Baptism, good works , going to church, ect are useless to save. Keeping the simplicity of the Gospel in your heart and pray that She will respond to Jesus .
 
PennEd

PennEd

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#14
Apr 22, 2013
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#14
Heal103 said:
Yes she was raised Christian and baptized at 14
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Not to be combative. But being raised Christian and being Baptized does not necessarily mean someone has been born again.

Did she choose to be Baptized and give her profession of faith? Or was it more of just a ceremony or baby Baptism ?

I say all this, because if she hasn’t been born again, none of the rest of the stuff you tell her will matter.
 
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DiscipleA

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Apr 17, 2020
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#15
Romans 3:4 ..let God be found true, though every man be found a liar...

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Acts 17:11 ..examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.

Not everyone who says they're a Christian is a Christian. Only those who follow the footsteps of Christ. He would never harass even the sinners, or the tax collectors, or the prostitutes, when others around him had different views of these people. So she shouldn't assume those news stories and history books are about actual Christians. We need to be Christian the best we know how despite what people around us are doing.

She might be tempted to be one of the "..lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God" (2 timothy 3:4) when she gets a wrong idea of what it means to be Christian from people who call themselves Christian, but act crazy.


Revelation 2:2..you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false.

Revelation 2:9..I know the blasphemy of them that say they are Jews and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.

Romans 2:24 As it is written: "God's name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you."
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

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#16
Sep 17, 2018
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Heal103 said:
I have a 20 year old daughter in college who over the last 5 years has steadily drifted away from Christianity. It began when she was told by a youth group leader that gay people go to hell. She has many gay friends and was very upset. She’s heard so many horror stories of churches and Christians disowning kids if they were gay or insisting on some type of conversion therapy. I must admit some of these stories are horrible and several led to suicide. As time went on she became exposed to all kinds of anti Christian rants on social media...mocking the Bible, saying its a book of fairy tales that condones slavery, genocide and oppression of women. Also she questions how we know the Bible is truly the word of God? They were written by men and the books that got in were chosen by men. She is also really upset by the behavior of Some Trump evangelical supporters...she thinks they are gullible, anti science, defiant and ignorant. Sadly she has shown me videos of Christians being horrible like the ones who harass gay people and are racist. She’s been really diving into science and history and is shocked by some of the atrocities done in the name of Christianity. All of this really makes her question her faith. I’m familiar with all the great apologists and have read many apologetics books but honestly they are either too complicated or not that convincing. My question is how can I respond as simply as possible as to why Christianity is truthful and logical and not just another recycled religion? Why believing in Jesus is logical and he was divine. I feel like I have to justify why I am a Christian with something more than it’s my faith. It’s very tough with this generation of young people! They are exposed to everything. The atheist community is very prominent in social media and their goal is to deconvert Christians.I don’t want her to fully walk away from Christianity. She hasn’t yet but definetly has doubts. I know this is a lot to ask but I wonder if anyone has advice for me. Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
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Yeah. That seems to be typical modern college student behavior anymore.

I'd reckon many of the atrocities done throughout history fall under Catholic more than Christian, and yes they are different.
Also back then people were more oppressed and less educated as a whole, regardless of religion.
I also believe most people that claimed to do things in the "name of God" were not true believers, but power hungry people that used religion to gain support for their actions from people not allowed to learn any better.
Also the psychology behind how easy that is is out there. It's why so many Germans backed Hitler. There is a psychology behind garnering such support. In fact I'd wager to say she, herself, is victim of it as we speak.

Getting her to read beyond her textbooks and professors accusations to find sources that won't have such a blatant bias might be of some use.
Also finding commentaries and bible studies that counter some of what she's being taught about the Bible will be helpful. Apologetics ministries such as Ravi Zacharias could be useful.

She's been taught information, some false, some true but reframed to a bias. The obvious answer is to counter and disprove the arguments she's been taught.
Ask her if she's made any efforts to fact check what she's being taught or if she's blindly accepting what her leaders feed her. Challenge her to go outside of the little circle she's allowed herself to sit in.
Also ask her if she's tried looking for answers herself from credible sources, or if she is, again, just accepting what she's being told.
It's funny that such people view themselves as so enlightened and religion a bunch of sheep, as they quote their professors and textbooks, obeying their leaders and texts and not thinking for themselves.

And doubts aren't always a bad thing. It provides an opportunity for people to seek answers to questions they may have had but been reluctant to ask. It has the potential to make their belief stronger.
 
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Heal103

New member
#17
Aug 15, 2020
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#17
PennEd said:
Not to be combative. But being raised Christian and being Baptized does not necessarily mean someone has been born again.

Did she choose to be Baptized and give her profession of faith? Or was it more of just a ceremony or baby Baptism ?

I say all this, because if she hasn’t been born again, none of the rest of the stuff you tell her will matter.
Click to expand...
She chose to be baptized. She has Been born again. Her drifting away began when she went to high school
 
T

throughfaith

Well-known member
#18
Aug 4, 2020
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#18
Heal103 said:
She chose to be baptized. She has Been born again. Her drifting away began when she went to high school
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We wont really be able to say one way or another if she has been born again and saved . You know her best . You know if she understands the Gospel and if she believed truly that Jesus died for her sins and rose again according to the scriptures. Her understanding has to be only as simple as that , and you know best if you feel she at least understands that much . Would you say that she is even challenging that ?
 
T

throughfaith

Well-known member
#19
Aug 4, 2020
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#19
Heal103 said:
She chose to be baptized. She has Been born again. Her drifting away began when she went to high school
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And just to be clear . How are we born again ? this will help to understand where she is at in her understanding.
 
T

tantalon

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#20
Oct 11, 2019
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#20
Heal103 said:
She chose to be baptized. She has Been born again. Her drifting away began when she went to high school
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Read her the parable of the sower, and then ask her if she sees herself in the examples, and then ask her a reason for her position. Remind her that the "race" is for a complete lifetime, with rewards and positions to come later. Jesus said that if we love our life in this world, without serving God, but rather ourselves, then we will lose it. The world with it's pleasures, and lusts is only for one short life span. To serve God has eternal values and this short life, will be extended forever.
 
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