Greetings Selenah. I hope you are doing better since you started this thread.
In some of your other posts you talked about such things as, your use of alcohol, listening to dark music and being an agnostic. You did not say what specifically was making you sad, however i just wanted to point out that God is bigger than all your problems. Isaiah 59:1 Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.
So once you have made Him your Lord and Savior, you can go to Him with all your problems. He understands, and even before you speak a word He already knows what you're about to say (Psalms 139:4)
Don't give up or give in. Take everything to God in prayer. Get up, dust yourself off and have faith that He will work everything out.
See you have to focus more on God than your feelings. Your feelings say you should take your life, but that is not what God says. He says He will make a way in the desert. Really is there anything too hard for God?(Isaiah 43:19, Jeremiah 32:27)
But if you don't believe in God or that He can help you then you won't have Faith in Him, and you need faith to handle all your problems. Hebrews 11:6 without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.