Why Don't We Hear About Single Christian Women Looking for Husbands in Other Countries?

I guess the words "And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel" don't really seem to fit with rape (what rapist cares about his victim?) To take a wife doesn't imply the rape of the wife, and defilement can come from an unholy union, not just a rape (e.g. as in this case of an Israelite virgin and an uncircumcised heathen). But perhaps like you say, he didn't even realise he had done her wrong.

What's ironic to me is that there seems to be no equivalent for women.

If it's fair for men to want what they want, wouldn't God allow women to their own wants as well?

And somewhere up in Heaven, Dinah remarks to God, "Can you believe this? They decided I CHOSE to sleep with that guy in the first place!"

And God replies with a sigh, "Yes, I know. They blame the victim a lot these days."

Its very clear that Dinahs situation was actually quite different from Tamars.

Shechem was willing to be circumcised and to marry Dinah, Ammon wasnt.
not saying shechem was doing the right thing but he totally did not force Dinah the way ammon forced Tamar.

no actually it depends on which bible you are reading. Lay with means had sexual intercourse, defile means Dinahs boyfriend wasnt clean, but Tamars situation was that Ammon FORCED her even when she said NO. and ammon was actually circumcised as all Israelites were.

no actually it depends on which bible you are reading. Lay with means had sexual intercourse, defile means Dinahs boyfriend wasnt clean, but Tamars situation was that Ammon FORCED her even when she said NO. and ammon was actually circumcised as all Israelites were.

The biblical account of Dinah's rape and Tamar's rape are more about eros - erotic love - lust. So very often, erotic love (lust) is not substantial or long lasting. It's fickle and fades as beauty fades.

Dinah's rape reminds me of Tamar's rape. In both accounts, the rapists claimed to love and care for their victims.

The Hebrew word for defiled that some translations use in Gen 34:2 is Strong's Bible Concordance 6031 a.anah.

https://biblehub.com/lexicon/genesis/34-2.htm

It means to afflict, do violence, force, oppress, silence, treat harshly, violate.

Hey Everyone,

I was just thinking about the fact that I've often read about men who look for love online in foreign countries (meaning, for this thread, any country other than the one they are living in or identify with.) Several years ago here in Singles, we had a few middle-aged men (in their 50's) who were very enthusiastically encouraging Christian men to look for young brides in Asian countries. I remember one specifically saying that "American women are poison," and therefore, a man's best chance was to look overseas.

Over the years, I've personally known about 15 married couples in which the spouses were from completely different countries and cultures. In the past, I've written some threads about the unique challenges they've told me they face, but this thread is not about that.

Rather, I'd like to ask -- if Christian men feel led by God to seek young wives from other countries, why aren't Christian women doing the same?

As I've said, I've known some couples who fit this category, but it was always the husband who had actively pursued options in other countries, and not the wife. So why don't we see this in reverse? I've never met, or even read about, a single couple in which the woman was the one who was actively pursuing men in other countries through dating sites that advertise foreign spouses, etc. Why not? (I'm sure there must be a few out there, but why would it be so rare?)

* Is it because the men are seen as being the ones who should pursue, and therefore, women shouldn't be pursuing men? (If so, why,, and are they, allowed to pursue men within their own country?)

* Is it because more men are in a position to hunt for foreign spouses than women? (For example, they don't have kids or have enough leniency in their custody agreements to be able to pursue someone in another country.)

* Is it because women just aren't interested in this kind of option?

I would really be interested in hearing your feedback.

Please note -- I'm neither encouraging nor condoning this for either gender. If a person feels led by God to pursue a spouse in another country, who am I to say anything?

But ladies, if you DID decide to look for men in other countries:

* Would you be more likely to look for someone who is younger (as the men seem to do), about your age, or older?

* Would you travel to the country to meet him, or would you want him to come to your country instead? And would do you think you'd wind up moving to his country, or would you expect him to move to yours?

I know that duplicate threads are usually frowned upon, but I am going to copy this and put it up in the Family Forum as well. I'm interested in what both singles and married have to say about this, and know that the best way to try to glean from both groups is to post in both forums.

Looking forward to an interesting discussion!

I understand. The same people who denigrate women who expect their men to provide are usually the same who denigrate stay-at-home moms as lazy, and who denigrate the men who seek a feminine woman as chauvinist. There are two systems at play - God's and the world's. It is extra sad when many Christians take the world's view of things. But from my perspective, the man's role is to provide, the woman's role is to support him (to be his lifesaver, I think, it how Genesis roughly translates). I don't see it as gold-digging for a woman to look for a man who will provide for and protect her. He gives her physical support - she gives him herself and bears his children.

Can you prove this in Dinah's case from the text, without relying on the NIV?



Two totally different accounts. Tamar's is consistent with rape, and the KJV states she was forced. No such statement for Dinah.