How do we speak to teens our age who are so hostile to the gospel?

Hey guys! I just wanted to open this thread up because I feel like it is so important to talk about. When I talk to people my age about Jesus Christ, they are so hurt and scarred by the abuse they have suffered from other Christians that came about because of how Christians presented the gospel to them. I love God, Jesus and People. I want to reach out to them with the love and compassion that Jesus wants me to. But how do i reach past all that pain and hurt? How do we undone the injustice that has happened in our own churches?

You guys mind sharing your hearts on this?

Hello, DrGuy, it is a complex issue to be sure, and a Godly endeavor to try to reach the lost, since that is what Jesus came to do. Jesus said, "And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself." The most important question anyone can answer is the same one Jesus put to His disciples: “Who do you say that I am?” He first asked what the crowds said in regard to this question but then narrowed it down to the singular.

In other words, focusing so much on what others say and do is not as important as one's own response in seeking after the truth for oneself. Focusing too much on others in this regard is counter productive and also a way of blaming others for their own failure to seek. I am not saying this about you but about those who blanket blame Christians. Bringing the focus back to them and their response is what I am getting at. Of course we all do have legitimate complaints about man's inhumanity to man, and our collective history -regardless of religious orientation and/or abuses- is replete with examples of this across all cultures and times.

Again, this cannot be the focus, but merely underscores the depravity of humanity devoid of God and the need for a higher authority. Starting from a place of understanding their confusion and pain can set the groundwork for further discussion. If they have belief in God and a heart prepared to receive they will be far more receptive than those who have become hardened and hostile. However, it is an inescapable Biblical truth that the natural man cannot accept the things of God because they are spiritual and spiritually discerned.

Over the years, I have really learned about the importance of witnessing through actions, more than words. Believe me; there is never a moment that I believe it is improper to speak on behalf of God and witness through verbal testimony. But, God has really impressed upon me the cruciality of sharing the Gospel through living it. When I was in high school, people always saw me as that Jesus girl because I was so vocal about it through social media and through conversation with people. But, was I living it? Sometimes I was and sometimes I wasn't. I decided to transform my action and really dedicate myself to imitating Christ as we are told to do [1 Cor. 11:1]. I began to observe when this happened that I had people message me, respond to my posts, ask me questions, and thank me for showing them Jesus. Did I do everything perfectly? No. Can I assure the same exact thing will happen with everyone else? No. I am just sharing what God did in my life, BUT I don't think that it hurts to share with everyone the key that made things suddenly shift for me. Really focus on how you ACT; make it known to people that you love Jesus, you follow Jesus, and act in and with love. My favorite Scripture that shares of this is in 1 John 3; it says: "Little children, let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and truth" [v. 18]. In James we are reminded that we will be blessed for our DOING, not just our hearing or talking [1:25]. This chapter of James also instructs us to be "doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves." Teenagers today, especially, tend to be harder to witness to; press on and continue being the light of the lamp and the salt of the earth Christ told us to be. Focus on your actions and how they come off to people. It is one thing to speak, it is another to SHOW what you believe and do it in love. God bless!

I have heard the same experiences from people I have spoken to. Talking to another guy for 3 hours after a night shift in my car because I was dropping him off after work. Basically, the hypocrisy and use of money scarred him.

What I do is simply just become a friend. As trust and relationships are grown then I get purposely more spiritual in everyday conversations. And begin to judge how they respond. You will see if they are ready to talk about such issues or not. You will see who is ready to respond to their responses. If they are wanting to continue the conversation by questions or comments then this is a good sign. If they are trying to redirect the conversation then this is a sign to be patient.

Once you are there, you have multiple ways to respond to church or Christian scarring but my favorite is specifically what does the Bible say.

Do you judge a religion by the actions of those who claim to be Christian? Not necessarily. If a Christian murders, cheats, steals, rich in greed, or caught in adultery, does this make Christianity? Obviously not. We judge people's actions against the Word of God.

People are flawed and still fall into sin. Churches are essentially inviting the sinful to come under it's guidance. Human anything will not be perfect, no church will be perfect.

But how close is the church to the Word is absolutely the most important.

Love on them. Make them a part of your family of friends. If you have other christian friends. Invite them out with you to a movie night or to a BBQ at someone's house. Just make them feel comfortable and throw in the odd time where someone gives a small testimony or "What has Jesus Done for me today" on the spot stuff. Slow and steady....with genuine love

Funny thing is the best people to ask this question to are Not Christians.
Without even trying I've hard the complaints given against Christians. And deeper than the parroted responses of "i hate organized religion" or "church is full of hypocrites", which is often just being repeated from someone else who said it.
As a former Christian myself, and hearing others experiences of others there are a few things that seem to be quite clear.
First step I'd suggest when speaking to one who has experienced, first hand, damaging behavior from Christians... don't try to change their minds about Christians. Change their mind about God.
Do this by not wasting your focus on their past experience but rather creating new, positive experiences.
As a Christian teen I remember talking to a secular band. They had pentagrams and the usual on their covers and merchandise. We walked over and started talking to them, and they admitted it was all for show and only one member actually believed anything even close to what they put out.
We then found out that Christians had been coming up to them, looking at their stuff and making faces and walking off. In a room full of Christians they were treated with disdain by all but us and one other.
They began opening up and one memeber shared how they tried going to church to learn about God and were kicked out and told not to return, just for the way they were dressed. This experience was a huge part of them turning away from God.
And while it's clear they all had problems with Christians for various reasons, they seemed to appreciate us just coming over, listening and asking questions. I'm sure there were no magical changes that night, but we liked to think we at least planted a seed that showed them something different.
In fact we related to them with some of our own experiences.

Arrogance is another problem I've heard mentioned by non-Christians and I 100% get what they mean. Most Christians seem to talk At people when trying to witness. Speaking down to them and telling them what they need to do. And when they can't convince someone using these tactics, they'll make condescending comments and walk off.

Also it's not so common that Christians attempt to connect with and relate to people. Rather than using their own experiences to interact with people on a personal level, they wrap a bat with bible pages and attempt to beat them with a barrage of scripture. A total personal and emotional disconnect.

Christians often don't listen. They're so convinced they're right and have all the answers they simply expect people to, basically, obey them.

Christians often don't think about what they're saying. Many seem to have a list of predetermined answers they got off bumper stickers, and when something arises they find the one that most closely fits, and if none fit they will often pick one anyways, and try to make it fit.
Followed after by the default "just pray and read your Bible". Totally thoughtless, insincere and disconnected. Rather than handling each situation as it comes and formulating personal, thought out respones, instead bumper sticker theology.

Telling people to quit sinning does nothing for people. Don't focus on their individual sins, because that's a dead end. Guide people to God and let Him determine the path to take for that individual in dealing with their sins. The goal isn't to call them out for each sin they do, but to admit they are a sinner.

So, in short, be humble, yet confident. Connect with people and make conversations personal (notice this is not a tactic, but should be done in a genuine manner). And don't expect every conversation to lead to salvation. Planting and watering are the majority of witnessing.