Two weekends ago I was beginning to go stir-crazy after 6 weeks of lockdown here in the UK, after 7+ years of recovery from illness before that and being mostly at home and isolated for much of that time. I was starting to have a complete emotional "meltdown" and spent three days wanting to cry all the time. I began to realise that being in lockdown was bringing up some very deep feelings and emotions, the source of which I was not sure, so began to pray for healing. I felt that now that I was physically healed beyond the stage of just trying to survive, the inner damage was starting to emerge, being forced up by constant isolation. I noticed a pattern to the feelings and tried to label the emotions that were coming up. A friend of mine had told me some weeks ago about a Facebook page called FREEDOM HEALING HOME where you could have face to face prayer with someone. I decided to visit and found there was to be prayer the next day. I managed to connect with the meeting and after some group chat and prayer, I was put into a private "break-out room" for private prayer with a lovely couple who were obviously used to praying. I shared a bit of what had been happening and as we talked and prayed step by step, the Lord revealed what needed to be prayed about, even right back to before I was born! The inside turmoil I was in was making it hard to focus, but later on that evening, I noticed that I was calm and peaceful inside and that something had left my stomach area, where I had been feeling emotional pain for a long time. My stomach felt relaxed and I felt as if I could breathe more easily and I had complete peace and all the "inner chatter", anxiety and agitation seemed to have gone; it was as if something had been released. For the first time in a long long while I even identified a feeling which I would call "happy" - I just couldn't remember when I last felt that, and in fact had been saying to myself that I didn't feel as if I could ever be happy again - I had just felt sad - all the time, in a state of continuous mourning deep down.
This healing was all the more amazing because of the timing, as a cause of the tears over the last few days had been a build-up of stress when I learned builders were to be coming to put in a new kitchen in the flat below which up until then had been empty, at a time during the UK lockdown when I and others were barely able to go out because of COVID-19. I was really afraid that a lot of noise would drive my stress levels through the roof, lower my immunity, force me out of my home onto the streets for sanity's sake and that, as a consequence, I would be at greater risk of catching the virus - so I felt very angry about it! Well, after prayer and deciding to try and keep a good attitude before the Lord, the builders started last Tuesday, and God intervened: they were very quiet, there was a bit of drilling but I found I was not feeling as disturbed by it as I thought I would be - God protected me from completely "losing the plot" all week. Then there was the prayer on the Saturday and the inner healing. To continue with the story... that evening when I noticed the change, I decided to relax and watch a film. Up until then, I had been unable to sit and relax properly and watch a film without being distracted by the need to do other things, or feeling I ought to phone someone, etc, etc. But not only did I watch it all the way through without feeling I ought to be doing this or that, but God spoke very powerfully to me through the film (The Red Fury, on Amazon Prime Video). He showed me more of His love, and in two places I broke down and wept as He reminded me that I have an Advocate in heaven, and the interaction between the various characters really showed me more of what that really means. Then I dissolved into tears again at the end of the film as I had a fresh revelation of the Father's love who is out searching for His children and so glad when He finds them and brings them home, and it sparked excitement in me, as I realised how wonderful it would be to meet this Father and that it was all about going home to be with Him, and how exciting it will be to meet the Lord Jesus. It just all hit home. It's all about family, folks. There was a beautiful aspect to the film which showed various people in the community showing christian care to an outcast, to me a picture of the Body caring for those whom God was drawing to Himself, and I understood how much pleasure it gives the Father when His children love and serve others (think Good Samaritan) and rescue and protect them from evil in this world and from ultimate destruction. No wonder Jesus said: what you do to others, you do to me and what you do not do, you do not do to me. Anyway, I have been feeling so calm and peaceful and sleeping better. The inner turmoil has completely gone. Today I rang a good friend and she told me I sounded different. That's not all. When I connected with the group on Saturday, I also prayed for others and noticed how good and comfortable it felt to be there -like an old, comfy shoe. Later I had a message to invite me to join the group and be part of their Healing Ministry. I remembered that years ago someone had prophesied over me that I would have a healing ministry. Indeed, I used to pray for people on the streets but that stopped when I got ill. Interestingly, I had just been reading a book the week before I asked for prayer: "Conquering the Spirit of Death" by Becky Dvorak, and had just read the chapter about praying for and ministering to others. There was a sample prayer in that chapter on how to pray about cancer. One of the people in the group on Saturday is having an ongoing battle with cancer, so I was able to pray that prayer over her. Ok, I'll stop here, but rejoice with me and let us give thanks to the Lord for His kindness and mercy in a time of need. Oh, I forgot to say that the builders came back today (they are here for four weeks) and starting using power tools and I had the sound of loud drilling upstairs. Well, it just didn't ruffle and upset me like it used to! I just went out for a walk and felt perfectly calm all day. Moreover all the underlying, pervasive feelings of anger, bitterness, anxiety and stress that had been lingering there, all seem to have gone. I feel calm, peaceful and no antagonism or hostility. I am so very grateful to the Lord for His deliverance.
This healing was all the more amazing because of the timing, as a cause of the tears over the last few days had been a build-up of stress when I learned builders were to be coming to put in a new kitchen in the flat below which up until then had been empty, at a time during the UK lockdown when I and others were barely able to go out because of COVID-19. I was really afraid that a lot of noise would drive my stress levels through the roof, lower my immunity, force me out of my home onto the streets for sanity's sake and that, as a consequence, I would be at greater risk of catching the virus - so I felt very angry about it! Well, after prayer and deciding to try and keep a good attitude before the Lord, the builders started last Tuesday, and God intervened: they were very quiet, there was a bit of drilling but I found I was not feeling as disturbed by it as I thought I would be - God protected me from completely "losing the plot" all week. Then there was the prayer on the Saturday and the inner healing. To continue with the story... that evening when I noticed the change, I decided to relax and watch a film. Up until then, I had been unable to sit and relax properly and watch a film without being distracted by the need to do other things, or feeling I ought to phone someone, etc, etc. But not only did I watch it all the way through without feeling I ought to be doing this or that, but God spoke very powerfully to me through the film (The Red Fury, on Amazon Prime Video). He showed me more of His love, and in two places I broke down and wept as He reminded me that I have an Advocate in heaven, and the interaction between the various characters really showed me more of what that really means. Then I dissolved into tears again at the end of the film as I had a fresh revelation of the Father's love who is out searching for His children and so glad when He finds them and brings them home, and it sparked excitement in me, as I realised how wonderful it would be to meet this Father and that it was all about going home to be with Him, and how exciting it will be to meet the Lord Jesus. It just all hit home. It's all about family, folks. There was a beautiful aspect to the film which showed various people in the community showing christian care to an outcast, to me a picture of the Body caring for those whom God was drawing to Himself, and I understood how much pleasure it gives the Father when His children love and serve others (think Good Samaritan) and rescue and protect them from evil in this world and from ultimate destruction. No wonder Jesus said: what you do to others, you do to me and what you do not do, you do not do to me. Anyway, I have been feeling so calm and peaceful and sleeping better. The inner turmoil has completely gone. Today I rang a good friend and she told me I sounded different. That's not all. When I connected with the group on Saturday, I also prayed for others and noticed how good and comfortable it felt to be there -like an old, comfy shoe. Later I had a message to invite me to join the group and be part of their Healing Ministry. I remembered that years ago someone had prophesied over me that I would have a healing ministry. Indeed, I used to pray for people on the streets but that stopped when I got ill. Interestingly, I had just been reading a book the week before I asked for prayer: "Conquering the Spirit of Death" by Becky Dvorak, and had just read the chapter about praying for and ministering to others. There was a sample prayer in that chapter on how to pray about cancer. One of the people in the group on Saturday is having an ongoing battle with cancer, so I was able to pray that prayer over her. Ok, I'll stop here, but rejoice with me and let us give thanks to the Lord for His kindness and mercy in a time of need. Oh, I forgot to say that the builders came back today (they are here for four weeks) and starting using power tools and I had the sound of loud drilling upstairs. Well, it just didn't ruffle and upset me like it used to! I just went out for a walk and felt perfectly calm all day. Moreover all the underlying, pervasive feelings of anger, bitterness, anxiety and stress that had been lingering there, all seem to have gone. I feel calm, peaceful and no antagonism or hostility. I am so very grateful to the Lord for His deliverance.
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