How do YOU express love?

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EliBeth

Guest
#21
EliBeth! So good to "see" you again :D
And wow, you sound like an amazing person with an amazing family, haha. I would have loved to be your friend IRL.

Thanks for sharing all those with us.

As for me, honestly @love_comes_softly 's list is pretty much it! That's also what I do. (high five, sister)


But the way I express love depends on if I'm interacting with a believer or not, as well.


--- If they're in Christ, I will generally be more open with them in my expression and find it easier to tell them "I love you" and hug them, and also send them Bible verses / pictures or encouraging words. Depends on how close I am with them of course (it's not automatic).

With some, it's immediate, and it takes them aback a little bit. For instance, there's a brother in the church I go to, and I just LOVE his mom, like I can't even explain why, I loved her pretty much immediately upon meeting her. We saw each other for the first time at their place for dinner, and after that dinner I gave her a big hug and told her I love her. Mind you, we barely even interacted with each other. She seemed super surprised but also really delighted in my spontaneous love confession (lol) but that's the kind of thing that happens to me fairly often.

I believe it's love from the Holy Spirit towards His people, it is really supernatural and divine and happens very fast. I am not sure why I don't experience it with every single believer in that same way, though. Like, I love all my brothers and sisters in Christ, but with some, it's a different level. Does that make sense? And it doesn't have anything to do with how much I know them or anything like that. Just an immediate strong love. Eh, it's hard to explain.


--- If they're not in Christ, I find it more difficult to be that openly affectionate. Probably because I (wrongly?) assume they won't really understand that kind of affection and love I have for them and I don't want them to think the wrong thing (something like, I like them more than a friend, or whatever).

To be honest, I still find it tricky to express love to others in many situations. I have a lot of love to give but I am also quite reserved and don't want to make others uncomfortable, or make them assume things that are wrong about my intentions (even with fellow Christians).


Generally though, I share my love verbally and through the written word, by telling them how amazing they are and how much I love them and how much God loves them, etc. I also love writing people encouraging notes / letters and giving them little gifts (if I know their taste a little bit). And if they're comfortable with physical touch, I love hugging them and just gently rubbing their back or shoulders, etc. as a sign of affection.

Sometimes I offer to pay for their meal / drink / whatever and I have also happened to pay for more expensive things before, like paying part of a plane ticket or just sending money to help for whatever reason. Right now that's a little more difficult since I'm unemployed but I do offer generosity to others when I can.

Cleaning up after others / serving them is also a way I show love but that's something I would do regardless of the situation, so it's less personal, if you will.

If I enjoyed cooking, I would probably cook for others, too. But alas, that's one area I am really not good at, lol.

And like love_comes_softly mentioned, I smile a lot in my interactions with others and try to actively listen and be present with them. It's a challenge with my family members sometimes but it's a work in progress. : )

With strangers, I sometimes smile at them and if I'm feeling bold, compliment them on something I notice. It's not as culturally acceptable here in Western Europe though, so it's not as easy to do as in the States. When I'm in the States, I'm like "Hey! I really like your hair! Jesus loves you! Have a great day!" LOL.


Bahhh, such a long post...

**gives you a medal (made of chocolate and edible confetti) if you've read this far**
I love this topic. :)

Ways that I express love to those around me:

* I make time and I listen wholeheartedly (no distractions)

* I like to leave little notes of encouragement when I feel lead to

* Smiling- even at strangers (I love that you can "talk" through expressions or even through ones eyes, I suppose that could come off as creepy :ROFL: I hadn't considered that.)

* If I see something that makes me think of the person, I like to get it for them or share it with them.
I identified with what you both wrote! Awesome posts from both of you. 👏🏻👏🏻

And yes, Belka, what you wrote about having different levels of love makes perfect sense. Often I experience bursts of love for people I don't even know very well- especially in the household of faith. I'm not ashamed of saying, "I love you," or showing affection. But yeah, I do try to be cautious around the opposite gender so as not to be misconstrued or a stumbling block.

You know, I am really grateful to the Holy Spirit for His sanctification work. I used to be pretty fearful and have a big deficiency in love. (That is NOT to say I have been perfected in love!) But God is so incredible! He is the miracle working God. 😃 I love how He continually molds and shapes His children into His own image. What a privilege to be tutored in love by the Author of Love.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 (One of my favorite verses in the Bible.💟)

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20,21
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#22
Nice thread sis :)💜

One thing I try to do is give people my time. Time is something very precious to everyone, and for me, if you I can be attentive to people whether it’s at work, school, with family or friends, giving them my time is a form of loving them - just as Jesus gave His time to heal those who were sick and preach to those who needed to hear the Gospel.

And when I mean “giving my time”, I mean setting time aside to listen/talk/pray/engage with them ☺️
 

Princesse

Active member
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#23
With strangers: Polite, friendly and kind.

With store clerks: Same as above. If they’re new I welcome them and make small talk. Those I’m more acquainted with get inquiries about their welfare and other subjects we’ve discussed. I like to show my gratitude for their help or customer service. Greeting them by first name personalizes the encounter and adds cheer to their day.

With friends and loved ones: Empathy and quality time. Listening to their concerns. Sharing an encouraging word. Laughing and recounting a funny story or something I’ve read. Assisting them with a challenge in my area of expertise. Sharing a word from God or experience. Helping with a business idea or problem. Mentoring and life coaching. Preparing a meal. Watching a favorite program. Having an outing or attending an event together. Planning, sharing goals and helping one another remain accountable. Supporting their dreams and giving input on their realization. Having a long phone call or visit. Lots of hugs and kisses. Praying for them.

My sewing classmates aren’t friends but I treat them more familiarly and we have a good time. We’re a tight knit group.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,378
113
#28
According to my friend's 5th grade daughter and her friends, when a boy and a girl at their school are "going together", they "officially" become an item when the girl gives the boy her hair scrunchie and he wears it around his wrist (like a tether, I suppose?) :ROFL:

So apparently...

All I have to do to get myself a boyfriend is to finagle some poor fella into wearing one of my hair accessories. :unsure::cool::geek:
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#29
According to my friend's 5th grade daughter and her friends, when a boy and a girl at their school are "going together", they "officially" become an item when the girl gives the boy her hair scrunchie and he wears it around his wrist (like a tether, I suppose?) :ROFL:

So apparently...

All I have to do to get myself a boyfriend is to finagle some poor fella into wearing one of my hair accessories. :unsure::cool::geek:
When he’s not paying attention you just casually slip it on his wrist and voila! Y’all are a couple.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,378
113
#30
When he’s not paying attention you just casually slip it on his wrist and voila! Y’all are a couple.
"Here, could you hold this for me a me for a minute?" :cool: Next thing he knows, we're headed down the aisle. ;)

Miss Jenny!!!

Welcome back!! So good to see you. :)

That, and I think you are totally going to get me a boyfriend. :D
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#31
"Here, could you hold this for me a me for a minute?" :cool: Next thing he knows, we're headed down the aisle. ;)

Miss Jenny!!!

Welcome back!! So good to see you. :)

That, and I think you are totally going to get me a boyfriend. :D
Thanks so very much, Miss Kim❤️. Awfully good to see you again, too.

I’m a fairly decent matchmaker, so hooking you up with somebody special would be my pleasure😀.
 
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IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#32
I do small things such as if I go to my SIL's house I wash her dishes and pick up the L.R.
I feed the neighborhoods cats and dogs
I'm a hugger so everybody I know always gets a hug.
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
113
33
Arizona
#34
Jokes aside, I tend to show my appreciation through thoughtful "gifts." They tend to be in the form of art
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,432
5,378
113
#35
I express love most through words and actions.

Since I currently don't have anyone to express romantic love to, my best way of showing love to others is trying to be helpful (which can be quite handy when combined with my extreme introverted tendencies.)

I'll be the one who slips away to do the dishes and clean up alone while everyone else at the party is socializing because it's my way of showing love to the host.

I was raised with the belief that a primary way to show someone love is to make someone else's life easier, whether that be through cleaning, listening, or the myriad of other ways we serve other people. Because of this, my primary method of showing someone love is to try to observe what would help them and then take action in order to try to ease their burden.

Last month I stayed with some friends who were working very long hours, so I would do whatever housework I could while they were away. I'm not someone who inherently enjoys such work, but I did enjoy knowing that my friends could come home to a clean, organized environment and just relax. And so, I busied myself with a variety of domestic chores while they were away (nothing says "I love you" more than cleaning someone's toilets and bathroom sinks!) :D

I guess I should also mention as a fair warning that if you're someone I'm close to and I happen to greet you while wearing a pair of rubber gloves, you should definitely wait a few minutes for me to take off the gloves and scrub my hands first before I give you a big warm, fuzzy hug. :cool:
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#36
Ding ding ding, winning thread alert!!!!

I suppose by treating them how I would like to be treated. Basically, seeking to genuinely care about others, and for crying out loud, have mercy, lol.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#38
I do small things such as if I go to my SIL's house I wash her dishes and pick up the L.R.
I feed the neighborhoods cats and dogs
I'm a hugger so everybody I know always gets a hug.
Invites you over and hands you cleaning supplies, lol. Jk.
 

up

Banned
Oct 8, 2019
4,175
2,469
113
#39
so I'm cooking then, while you all clean😊
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#40
Haha, Oh y'all keep cleaning whilst I go wash up for grub. < that is a loving thing to do, right?

:D!!