Censor yourself?

Hello All

Recently, we have had a situation at work where I realized that there are times when I censor myself. I think about what I'm saying before I say it. I consider my audience, but I realize that not everyone does this.

Do you censor yourself? Do you share your thoughts and speak your mind no matter who you are talking to? Why?

When are times that you should or shouldn't censor yourself? Do you find it's different in person vs. online?

I know the bible talks about the tongue and having control of it, so I know it's an important thing, but do you also feel it's important to be open and honest? Where's that line or balance?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

I do it all the time. Both in real life and online. It's probably because I am an overthinker/overanalyzer.

Yep its called being tactful.

But I think its an art that some people lack...you see it in children they can be extremely honest and blurt out anything that comes to their mind no matter how inappropriate it may be lol.

I remember one teacher saying to a boy you must NEVER ever call a girl fat (even if she may be so) cos its unkind.

But children just see things as they are. Often they dont actually mean anything horrible by it.

I always think before I speak. Unless it's about something biblical....for example something was brought up
about clothing and another person and I butted heads on what was appropriate. A young Christian woman was asking if clothing that revealed
a womans breasts was ok for her to wear......things like that I'll defend the Word of God.

Sometimes its because I shouldnt even say what I was about to say, sometimes its because certain ears dont need to hear what I have to say and sometimes its because its not the right time to speak.

I had something to say about this, but I deleted it.

I’ve fallen into the trap of saying things that I know I shouldn’t have said, and now I’ve learned to ask the Holy Spirit to direct me to speak or not, and if so, to give me the right words to speak and at the right time.

There’s a huge difference when I am speaking to someone, and when I am spirit led speaking to someone - part of that is because I know God is ministering to that persons heart and soul while conviction is given to them.

I also am a observant person, so I like to observe someone’s actions, and behaviour first.

I truly believe that words can either speak life or death which is why the bible talk about how the tongue is like a weapon and that we should have control of it.

I dont post my artwork here anymore. My self esteem is already abysmal I dont need my hard work being complained about.🤦‍♂️

Something I have found very useful is to ask myself first why I want to say something. Thinking about my motive for saying it has caused me to leave many things unsaid.

It's important to be open and honest ..... and also to be wise. There's a t-shirt I saw online that says something to the effect of If what I said offended you, be glad you can't hear what I keep to myself. So there are times and circumstances when we should censor ourselves a bit. For example, most of us know that if we're at a funeral, even if we are sure that the person who passed away was unsaved and will spend eternity in hell, that's not something you should be preaching to all the grieving family members during the funeral.

For me I see kind of two big reasons to censor myself 1) Fear of / Reluctance for conflict (which we should not let keep us silent) and 2) my brutally honest thoughts aren't helpful or godly in expression (even if they are based in Biblical truth) and I want to moderate what I say and do to be closer to how Jesus would be in the situation. Sure there are times I censor myself when boldness would be the proper course of action and times people really tick me off and I speak out of annoyance and frustration, but I think at the heart is wisdom to know when and how to tell the whole truth and when it's better to say only the relevant part of the truth or nothing at all.

There are things which enter our minds that should never be uttered. Self-control is an important virtue and fruit of the spirit worth cultivating.

For me, it isn’t merely a question of sharing my thoughts. Considering the correctness of doing so, my relationship with the individual, environment, and what I hope to gain by the disclosure.

Some feel at liberty to cast aside decorum to tell the truth, rant, or give vent to histrionics out of anger or offense. Neither give me the right to forget myself and discard my dignity to make a point.

And there are moments when remaining tight-lipped is best. Especially when silly arguments and debates rear their heads. When people realize you won’t engage they’ll stop trying and find another person to goad.

I find minding my business and a measure of indifference nips this in the bud. There is little I need to say because it’s not my concern. And He didn’t tell me to address it either.

I ignore a lot and it serves me well.

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another"-Napoleon Hill

I like honest and kind not honest and rude 😅

I speak from my experience and pour my heart into it... If I got nothing good to say about someone or something Or if i have not been to that situation I won't say anything that's how I censor myself 😅

Here's a short story of how negative/ careless words impacted me...

I got front upper teeth that protrude out.... they were the first thing people noticed about me...One day my father told me "I am ugly" ) in front of his friends while they were drinking ... I believed him. Besides he was not the only one who told me like that but it hurts more when I heard that from my father or from the people close to me ...it cuts like a knife...it hurts my self esteem...I believed them...

It took me sometime to recover from those words... Now, I don't really give too much attention when I encounter careless words...but i become careful of how my words and actions could have an effect on individuals. I learned to ask myself How they would feel if they were in my place... I've been there it was hard and I don't want anyone to go through what I went through ... It was a sad place and full of pain...

When I am angry or hurt or a person is saying not nice words to me...I'd rather swallow my words and let my words cut me inside than let my words come out and cut someone's heart... but sometimes it is hard 😅 that's the time I know what should I do and where I should go...to God, and ask Him to help my heart 😇

Yes, many times and it depends with who why. I sometimes over think things or write too much so cut stuff out. I try to think whether what I say will be helpful or what is the purpose or motive behind it. Sometimes it doesn't need one like if discussing your favorite kind of candy to give a trivial example. Other times I might think of how people with a different opinion might react and maybe think twice about sharing. Is it worth a friendly discussion or would it be a vain dispute that the Bible says not to have? I'd choose kindness over being right. An atheist will only become a believer by God's grace so just plant a little seed if you can or move on and still be kind. Probably the most common reason for me may be not feeling they would understand so I just keep it to myself. Not anything mean or harsh. More like an interest, a piece of knowledge, a personal experience etc. Hence the last stanza in one of my poems:

Does anyone truly know me
but my Lord and my God?
Wish I could be myself,
But I just smile and nod.

I'm sure a few come close like friends and family that know a lot, but God knows it all. Good and bad. I could go on with more reasons, but I'll just censor myself now

I play hard but I try not to foul .. I like to be straight forward .. There's a time for everything ..

Ive come across this maxim use words not fists...in this child raising handbook for parents, but Im thinking well words can be just as hurtful.

Theres lots of books out at the moment with swear words in the title and I dont say them, they are asterisked out but even so I dont like to read them out loud. I will say 'the f- word' in describing what others are referring to though. I just dont like to say swear words, or curse others I dont think that is necessary.

I find it hard to be around people who are always f- bombing.