Marriage...expensive or just the wedding?

Yes, there are cultural differences to consider at times though my brother met a woman online from the Philippines and married her 4 months later. That was in 1997. Still happily married and have a son who just completed his sophomore year in college.

You are se
ok you know everything . sorry

Did he go to live in the phillipines? Just wondering.

It's actually God who knows everything. But we can use that to our benefit, by just using His wisdom.

He went there from Orlando, Forida to physically meet his future wife. He stayed about 10 days and a couple months later returned with a US fiancée visa, and brought her back to the US and married her about a month later.

Whats a us fiancee visa, is that a phillipines thing. I know so many filipinos want to leave their country and choose marriage as the way. Had she been to US before?
Not many go to the phillipines and stay there. I dont know if its just harder to live there. I havent been there myself so cant say. But I know some filipino people. One i used to work with said her family left, they went to canada first but found it too cold. Then they settled in nz.

No she had never been to the US before. He got the fiancée visa quite easily from the US government. What it is a temporary visa (6 months) to allow a person into the US with the intent of marrying. If the nuptials are not conducted within that time frame the visa will expire and the person that entered into the US with the visa will have to go back to their own country. I am sure that certain questions were asked on the application form to ensure the intended marriage is legit and not just a means to enter the country. All I know is that my brother applied for it and received the visa within a couple weeks without any major hassle whatsoever.

Has she got any family here?
I imagine it might be isolating for her if shes only knows your brother. Is she going to invite her family to the wedding or is this another one of those elopements.

No, she doesn't. Her mom and dad had died before she met my brother. Her sister got married to some guy in the UK, they visited her last year and they have been back to the Philippines twice to see her other family members.

The wedding took place in 1997 and as there was considerable planning to arrange for her travel to the United States and planning the wedding it was definitely not an elopement. On the first trip back to her country a couple years after they were married they got married again in the local Catholic church in her home city so her family could be present.

Yes, I imagine that she has felt isolated at times. It does say in the bible that the two shall leave their father and mother and become one flesh. I know from my own personal experience that I felt isolated for the entire 8 years I lived in Maine having moved from Orlando, Florida so that my late wife could be close to her parents. That was in 2005. I went back home for 2 weeks in 2008 so that I could watch my dad die from cancer. My late wife died in Maine in 2014. After the funeral I got on a bus with just my clothes in a duffle bag and went back to Florida.

I understand about isolation quite well. It is surprising what one does for a spouse that they love.

I wonder who gets to decide to leave their family though. It always seems one half stays behind to be closer to their parents than the other half. I dont know that many couples that decide we both want to leave both our parents and just move to a completely new place where they dont know anybody, when I examine their relationship at it will be at least one half trying to run away from their parents.

I guess you got to choose..who you going to spend the rest of your days with, your spouse or your parents. If your parents die early then theres really no choice i suppose.

The thing about the Philippines is that when my brother retires in a few years they are going to move to her country from the USA to be with the rest of her family that's left.

I made the hard choice to move to Maine so that my wife could be with her family even though it was a very hard, lonely, isolated ordeal that lasted 8 years. The entire marriage lasted 11 years 2 months. You are correct, it is very hard to be away from your family and familiar surroundings. It helps tremendously though that if you have to be away from your family your loving and faithful spouse can be a great comfort. My late second wife was loving and faithful but she was in declining health during the entire 8 years in Maine, in and out of the hospital, endless doctor appointments and required a lot of care from me because of her debilitating arthritis that eventually crippled her. I would have to attend to her after work and before work and was sleep deprived for years.

Due to her many medications she was basically incoherent for the last several years and due to her condition and situation we could not be intimate for the last 2 years. Plus her family and adult children did their best to interfere with our marriage.

She spent the last 1 1/2 years of her life in a nursing home as it reached a point where I could not give her the proper care anymore. I knew before marrying her that her health was declining and it would take a tremendous effort to be the best husband that I could. Despite the hardships I had absolutely no regrets as I considered taking care and providing for her a ministry from God.

The bible says that you should count the costs before any undertaking. I did exactly that and it was well worth the cost of admission. I had love in my heart given to me from God to give to her and I gave her every last ounce of it.

Parents interferring with marriage seem like a big reason why some couples wont get married. Is it because usually the bride is the one to change her maiden name to her husbands, and so becomes nominally part of his family?

But if couples dont marry, is that like saying to the other half, my family is not going to accept you? That somehow, in some way, you are unacceptable to the family. You can be a mistress or girlfriend, but not a wife or sister.

Or is it actually a good thing. The Bible says its better for a man to not marry and the girl gets to keep her virginity! He who marries does well, but he who doesnt marry does better. According to 1 corinthians 7.

Of course, Paul is presuming that believers will abstain from fornication.

Me and my husband married when our son was 5 months. My husband was saved when we met, I was not but through him I gave my life to God. We were both trying to get it together. When I met his grandmother she asked if we were going to get married. I honestly didnt put much thought into it. We were engaged but didnt have guidance. We didnt have a wedding. We couldn't afford one. In fact we didnt even have rings because I had grown out of my engagement ring and was so overweight and didnt want to have to size it down. It's been 7 years we just got wedding bands. Made of pure jade $40 for both. It cost us $150 to get the marriage licence. I wish we would've done things differently but our past is between us and God.

Did you invite your grandmother or tell her to be a witness when you got married?
Some people have weddings after they get married.

The PM of my country announced she was marrying her partner, after ahe had her daughter. Most people seem to do it a bit backwards here. Have children first, then realise um, they should have got married. My flatmate did that too, had a daughter with her boyfriend, then got married, but I think she was just waiting for him to propose.

But if its equal apportunity, why cant a woman propose to a man. Anyway, just wondering what makes men have cold feet or drag their feet about getting married. What, they wanna play around or something? Cant make an honest woman of their missus? Or is it just down to money. $150 for a marriage license isnt much, if you think what else would they spend that on. Some people would drop that much on just a dinner. Forgo a night out and you have your marriage licence.

Last night my friend said next year, September 8, she and her fiance are getting married. It will be a Tuesday, but apparently its cheaper to marry on a weekday. She had to check with her church calendar etc.

I am holding her to that date.

I don’t believe in cohabitation or long engagements. I think it’s important to set a date and meet the commitments you’ve made. There should be an honest dialogue with parents and those who are willing to provide financial support about a practical budget for the rings, attire, venue, and other expenses before a morsel is spent.

It’s helpful for the pair to know the costs upfront, what’s being covered, and how to get the most bang for their buck. Oftentimes the majority spend more than planned and the unexpected can lessen or eliminate someone’s contribution.

I’ve never married and it’s my intention to make it the first and only event. I would prefer to have the ceremony held in a private chapel on a property with the reception facilities in walking distance. This makes getting around much easier for everyone. Young and old.

Weddings can be expensive or just as cheap as going to the court house. In my opinion their meaning it’s expensive in different ways. You can cheat the government better by being able to qualify for food stamps, wic and hud if you aren’t married. They can lie and say they aren’t living together. If you draw disability one can loose their checks if they marry. Pretty much they get the perks of being single but “acting” married. Also marriage can be cheap to get into but very expensive to get out. Court, lawyers, child support, alimony, and drop your credit score to name a few.

Save the price of a fancy wedding and expensive honeymoon. Use the money on a down payment for your new home.

I recommend the Little Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas located on the Strip within easy walking distance from various hotels.

Thank you for the recommendation. But I had a different venue in mind.