My friendships are structured hierarchically. This isn't the norm for my sex. Women usually prefer flat structures where everyone is equal. But I’ve found that’s rarely the case in matters of the heart. While we may care for them and desire God’s best. Our comfort and experiences are influenced by other factors. Namely character, similarities, and life season.
I’m very discriminating about the people I let in my circle. I’m polite and friendly and willingly engage light discourse without a problem. But intimacy is another matter. I look for common denominators in lifestyle, background, and values. I’m seeking mutual enrichment. Both must benefit. It can’t be one-sided.
I prefer temperate women whose kindheartedness is evident. I abhor snark, complainers, and misogyny and misandry. I have no interest in lending my ears to their nonsense. I sift their conversation and beliefs. I don’t eat from every tree and it’s important I know the root of their disposition and advice.
As a rule, they are self-aware and willing to say hard truths when necessary. They’re courageous, family oriented, supportive, and champion the causes of loved ones and friends. The majority are extroverts. But there’s a couple of introverts for good measure. They esteem their sex but aren’t feminists and are wholly feminine and poised.
My primary criteria is fit. We must fit the other well and be at ease in our respective worlds. The circle is divided into rungs. The lowest level is comprised of people who’ve proven themselves through time and effort. Their loyalty is clear and we remain connected. We don’t speak as frequently as the rest. But the bond is fixed. We’ve known the other for 25 years or more.
The next rung is more intimate. They’re privy to concerns and general matters of spirit. They know most of my experiences and understand me far better than most. I share aspects of my calling and relationships. The latter is limited to one. I don’t believe in undressing a man to strangers and I limit my conversation to general issues where that’s concerned. This group compels greater measures of loyalty, sharing, and resources.
The final step is my inner sanctum. It is occupied by one and she’s the lone one to enter. She is my Jonathan in every sense of the word. Beloved to my soul and irreplaceable. Her capacity for love is otherworldly. We vowed to remain as one no matter what life throws our way.
She sees me as I am and loves me fearlessly, fiercely, without restraint. That’s what drew us together. The ferocity of our hearts and recognition of beauty and loveliness in one another other. I have loved, counseled, supported, and helped her heal. Seeing the person she’s become fills me with pride. There will never be another like her or one who exceeds her position.
We are wholly transparent and vulnerable. No situation is too grave to admit and shame is not a factor. She is my sole confidant about my partners and the one I present and seek agreement to share my burdens with when I engage. He knows his secrets are safe and she’s providing feedback that’s godly and beneficial. The same holds true for her spouse. I was there from the beginning and nudged her towards him. He knows my goal is their continued success and mutual growth. They needn’t worry about agendas or bad influences from either. God’s best is our aim.
Our connection extends beyond the realm of friendship. We support each other’s professional endeavors and share liberally. Provision is an outgrowth of that concept. Money is not an impediment. We are sisters, friends, and divinely knit. God gave us to the other and we treasure the gift immensely.
These days, I’m content with my connections and make few additions. The nucleus is set and I have little need to add more. I welcome the opportunity to meet likeminded entrepreneurs. But otherwise, I nurture what I’ve built. It’s more than enough.
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