With So Many "Fish in the Sea", How Many Should Someone be Baiting at Once?

You might want to rethink that. Every initiative, in any area, has opportunity cost. Finding a marriage partner is one where the opportunity cost is rightly and wholeheartedly embraced, because marrying one person requires that you consciously reject all others, including all the ones you've never met.

Sorry but, although I see a lot of flaws, I don't see how she 'dropped her standards'...?

“ “I had given up on getting my “meet cute,””

Unless she meant something totally different than I took that to mean...

Yeah, I suppose. But if you spend three decades of your life not seriously looking for a spouse and then suddenly throw the switch and look for one whose will are you seeking to accomplish?

True, but I didn’t mean it specifically in that way. The feminist myth is one that is dedicated to the falsehood that you can have it all. It specifically seeks to deny the opportunity costs of spending your teens and 20s chasing education and a career.

Sorry but, although I see a lot of flaws, I don't see how she 'dropped her standards'...?

I don’t believe there’s one approach for everyone. But I think it’s important to have a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and how they’re viewed by the opposite of sex. Ideally, you’ve developed an idea of the qualities you prefer and validate this through firsthand experience. Meaning, you’ve consistently dated or attracted persons with them in tow.

When I’ve mentored women, I’ve asked them to scrutinize their connections and look for evidence their preferences were met and common denominators in character. What I’m demonstrating through the exercise is the variance between what we say and do. I look for patterns and address the scenarios in their meeting and communication to gauge behaviors working on their behalf or detriment. This enables them to make wiser choices and be more discriminating in the future.

I used a similar approach with myself and undertook a lengthy road of self-awareness and improvement. I analyzed my experiences; noting favorable occurrences and the environment and attitude that enriched my person and those which didn’t. I took advantage of opportunities for intimate discourse with gentlemen possessing the traits I desired in a partner.

I listened to their experiences and encouraged them to share their ideals. Oftentimes their responses mirrored others and I developed a clearer image of ‘him’ based on feedback, observation, and personal encounters. I continued to hone my skills through training and self-education. And deepened my understanding of masculinity and femininity and the challenges we face in today’s culture. Service became my banner and a pleasing spirit was its complement.

I learned to see things from his vantage point and speak his language. I never led by what I sought but what I had to give instead. My desires were reinforced by clear reasons for their appearance. It wasn’t wishful thinking. I forsook popular rhetoric and took my cues from men.

For me, learning him was an important precursor to drawing the one I sought. And I did. My reconciliation to God prevented us from pairing but my efforts were not in vain. I know his scent and operate from that position to this day.

As such, I don’t pursue men or initiate contact. I trust my countenance and expression will suffice and it has. It’s not my responsibility to convince someone of my worthiness. My character and bearing should encourage him to look closer and explore. In like fashion, he should embody qualities which compel my respect and admiration. It can’t be forced. Serving him should be a privilege. Not a duty.

I look for someone I can follow whose faith, behavior, and purpose align well with my own. Most men are desirous of a looking glass to some degree. The woman whose presence makes them better and brighter for all to see. If I don’t envision myself championing him wholeheartedly, I refrain and pray he finds the one who will.

That so poetically written, encapsulates the element missing from today’s relationships. The man should present himself honourable if he intends to be properly respected. As well, if women were a little more particular, perhaps men would try harder at being the best version of themselves to win the heart and admiration of a “fair maiden”. I applaude your decision to wait for one worthy.

153 fish right?

In the gospel oF John. Jeuss just threw the net out the other side of the boat.

Otherwise, I have no idea what every one else is going on about. sorry.

Thank you for the compliment.

My disposition has its challenges. It served me well in secular engagements. But Christian dating practices (in their current guise) are too familiar and intimate to accord the drawing I referenced. The notion of friends first obliterates his ability of winning me outright. This diminishes his confidence and weakens him.

Entertaining a gentleman’s company and advance validates his manhood through healthy pursuits. Telling a man he’s unworthy of consideration unless he adopts behaviors which don’t allow him to prove himself in the manner most appropriate is not appealing.

Affirming his masculinity without compromising his self-respect is a must. The mating process enables him to communicate his willingness to serve and protect. My response demonstrates reciprocity and how he fares. Each has its purpose.

It isn’t a question of worthy suitors. It’s the necessity of aligning myself with someone who recognizes his essence and refuses to diminish its roar.

You can’t neuter him and expect him to “man up” later on.

The analogy is in reference to the dating pool. Not literal fish.

if all people are interested in on here is dating well sorry, you are kinda wasting your time.

dating is not gonna guarantee you eternal life. But if rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic so you get to sit next to someone is your thing, well...

I understand fully what you are talking about. God has created programming in males and females of all mammals that cause a natural selection. In most species the males “compete”, demonstrating their genetic giftedness. Those who are superior have an unspoken confidence. This causes particular pheromones to realease. Generally the females submit themselves to the alphas for mating purposes. Females are naturally drawn to power, to produce strong offspring. Males are naturally drawn to sex appeal, to produce many offspring. Humans are no different chemically but psychologically, a disaster. What we consider power, is fake. Social power, political power, and financial power are all circumventing the natural order. Women are attracted to these positions but the men who possess this pseudo power lack the true confidence and chemical soup of attraction. Often they fake it. I too spent several years of introspection, self improvement. I see the difference, and more importantly feel the difference. I attained the confidence achieved by knowing you are superior. There is no need to oversell myself. I don’t seek attention and wear clothes that cling to my muscles. It’s just a feeling that I have a lot to offer and I am not willing to settle for less than I deserve. It’s true alphaness.

oh.

well why dont people just say thats all they are really interested in.

I thought this was a christian forum, not a dating site.

Jesus said to the disciples they are to be fishers of men i.e catching for the Kingdom of God. He didnt mean go out and date people.
He meant tell people the gospel.

I was reared in an environment where biblical examples of masculinity and femininity were the norm. Not only with my parents but extended family too. Both were held in high esteem. We were expected to be ladies and gentlemen. Honorifics were a mainstay. I can recall when men would hasten their speech when we approached, tip their hats when greeting, and apologize if they used profanity within earshot.

We were shielded from the cultural changes taking place in society and had no inkling of feminism until college. They formed friendships with likeminded persons and kept others at bay. It’s difficult for me to grasp the idea of someone altering themselves unnaturally for the possibility of relational prospects. To see either forsake their way of being is disconcerting.

I’m glad you’ve taken the time to understand yourself. I think there are many iterations of power. How one utilizes their knowledge and talents is the difference. Some are gifted with abilities in leadership, finance, communication and influence. I believe there’s a divine purpose for our makeup. It’s our responsibility to seek their rightful use.

American society rewards go-getters and overachievers. I hasten to use alpha in my verbiage for those reasons and others I won’t address. The greater our endowment the larger our need for strength in submission. Lest we run amok and rule unchecked.

We are all truly uniquely gifted but it was never intended for megalomaniacal pursuits. The “strong” were designed to protect the weak. Those who have leadership abilities were intended to steer society toward the betterment of the whole. Today money, a false power, is used to elevate often the scrupulous. Stoicism is no longer practiced. Today’s philosophers are our stand up comedians. Many men have been psychologically castrated by agendas and media. “Alpha” will soon escape everyone’s verbiage because it is effectively loosing its meaning. I agree completely that our strengths should be harnessed by the Lord and employed for His service. We are the hands subject to His will.