Why do marriages fail?

Im always shocked when I hear of a married couple splitting up. It makes me question a few things, especially if its a christian couple

we know marriage is no guarantee that adultery and unfaithfulness wont happen, but why is it so common these days even in the church. Is it because couples ARE unequally yoked to begin with or some other reason? or is it because of pressure to be married, and from being young and naive and maybe a bit blind to the responsibilites of raising a family, the commitment involved? not enough preparation?

for women is the desire to have children and then caring for them outweighing wifely duties, and for men is it the pressure of providing for the family that ends up splitting couples apart?

or is it simply hardness of heart? what do divorcees say about lessons they learned from being married? when you say marriage vows, arent you both supposed to MEAN what you say or is it just a token thing you do now?

from speaking with split couples my conclusions from observations of women are that they didnt really want to be married it was pressure to be married and not being able to say no, and also pressure to have children before being too old. some wanted childen MORE than wanting a husband thats what I seem to notice, and so chose badly, or put up with abuse, a husbands personal qualities didnt seem to matter over his ability to actually sire children. I really want people to be honest about the issue. Because why would people go to all the trouble of getting married, set up a house together and then just break up after a couple of years it does not make sense. and it also doenst make sense for any children caught in the middle of the drama.

Unfortunately the divorce rate in this country is basically the same among “Christians” as non-Christians. Why? The answer is simple really. The local church is filled with non-Christians, they become unequally yoked or neither one is actually Christian.
This may sound harsh and I’m sorry if this stings some folks but salvation serious business. To be Christian is the most glorious gift known to mankind. It’s very unlikely (impossible really) for a Christian to continue in adultery, fornication, pornography, intoxication etc.

I believe there are many things that can cause A marriage to fail, like lack of communication, abuse, lack of respect, being unappreciated, boredom, cheating, abuse, drugs etc. But this I know also, it is God who can keep A marriage together. I have been married for 24 years now, it has not been all candy and roses but we have allowed the Lord to help us and repair any damage that occurred through the years. God made marriage and marriage need God.

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I believe that it is important for God to be in the center of a marriage, but God gave us instructions through the Scriptures that if a husband and a wife follows they will have a successful marriage. I know many people who have been married for many years and had successful marriage. I have learned before getting married that a marriage it not about a man and a woman, it is not about two people, it is about one flesh (a husband and a wife), if they do not recognized this the marriage would fail. God has shown me that a marriage will fulfill only when one of the spouse departs, many fell to realized this truth.

Hope you learned something from the about.

But you are absolutely correct, only God can repair a damage marriage. My sister was a marriage counselor, took marriage seriously and allowed herself to be used by God to help marriage that walked into quicksand.

Unfortunately the divorce rate in this country is basically the same among “Christians” as non-Christians. Why? The answer is simple really. The local church is filled with non-Christians, they become unequally yoked or neither one is actually Christian.
This may sound harsh and I’m sorry if this stings some folks but salvation serious business. To be Christian is the most glorious gift known to mankind. It’s very unlikely (impossible really) for a Christian to continue in adultery, fornication, pornography, intoxication etc.

I think this is a huge overlooked reason why many "Christian" marriages fail. Both spouses go into a marriage thinking that they are both believers and after many years of living together, it becomes obvious that one or both of them are not spiritually regenerate. All the more reason to get to know one another's hearts, motivations, and desires VERY WELL before entering into the marriage covenant.

I think this is a huge overlooked reason why many "Christian" marriages fail. Both spouses go into a marriage thinking that they are both believers and after many years of living together, it becomes obvious that one or both of them are not spiritually regenerate. All the more reason to get to know one another's hearts, motivations, and desires VERY WELL before entering into the marriage covenant.

I think this is a huge overlooked reason why many "Christian" marriages fail. Both spouses go into a marriage thinking that they are both believers and after many years of living together, it becomes obvious that one or both of them are not spiritually regenerate. All the more reason to get to know one another's hearts, motivations, and desires VERY WELL before entering into the marriage covenant.

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if they do not recognized this the marriage would fail. God has shown me that a marriage will fulfill only when one of the spouse departs, many fell to realized this truth.

Just going back to this topic, people say 'see a counsellor' or 'see a therapist' but do couples really do that if they cant sort out their problems? Cant they just pray?

Wouldnt therapists and counsellors be expensive? Are there such things as marriage coaches or referees that come and blow the whistle or something if theres a fight or do you just call the police.

There are also sociological reasons in addition to spiritual ones. The divorce rate sky rocketted after the rise of the feminist movement and its effects on society and law. It used to be if women wanted to take out loans, the husband had to co-sign, and husbands were given some legal financial responsibility over their wives. Divorces were only granted if there were grounds for it.

Now the power has flipped. Now, either party can sign loans, but anyone can just up and file for a divorce without grounds. There may be a delay and legal hoops, but as far as I know, all states allow no-fault divorce (or call it something different.) Then the courts tend to give the children to the wife. Alimony is not as big of a deal as it was in the past, but some states may still allow it. But the percentage of no-fault divorces filed by women is between 60 and 70%. Many women, if they divorce, are incentivized by having power over the children and a steady stream of funding from their ex-husband who they force the unilateral divorce on, in the form of child support which helps support their lives. Overall, divorce is generally a value-destroying prospect (costs for two houses instead of one--or a guy living out of his car or parents' basement and the woman in the house.)

In past centuries, most people were farmers. History may focus on Kings, Queens, counts, barons, etc. But most people were not rich and lived in households and the household was the center of economic activity. There were professions and trades, but on a farm, husband, wife, and children work together to produce family resources. Then we had the industrial revolution which brought the people to the cities. In the US, in the '50's there were lots of housewives. Then we had the feminist movement, after which more women were able to work and support themselves, with a philosophy telling them they needed to to be fulfilled. This was followed by divorce.

Women being able to earn money apart from their husbands, without husbands having any legal authority over them, combined with the sexual revolution, and no-fault divorce seems to have led to a lot of divorces in society. Many of the churches have adapted their teaching and doctrine to fit with the widespread divorce.

There are also sociological reasons in addition to spiritual ones. The divorce rate sky rocketted after the rise of the feminist movement and its effects on society and law. It used to be if women wanted to take out loans, the husband had to co-sign, and husbands were given some legal financial responsibility over their wives. Divorces were only granted if there were grounds for it.

Now the power has flipped. Now, either party can sign loans, but anyone can just up and file for a divorce without grounds. There may be a delay and legal hoops, but as far as I know, all states allow no-fault divorce (or call it something different.) Then the courts tend to give the children to the wife. Alimony is not as big of a deal as it was in the past, but some states may still allow it. But the percentage of no-fault divorces filed by women is between 60 and 70%. Many women, if they divorce, are incentivized by having power over the children and a steady stream of funding from their ex-husband who they force the unilateral divorce on, in the form of child support which helps support their lives. Overall, divorce is generally a value-destroying prospect (costs for two houses instead of one--or a guy living out of his car or parents' basement and the woman in the house.)

In past centuries, most people were farmers. History may focus on Kings, Queens, counts, barons, etc. But most people were not rich and lived in households and the household was the center of economic activity. There were professions and trades, but on a farm, husband, wife, and children work together to produce family resources. Then we had the industrial revolution which brought the people to the cities. In the US, in the '50's there were lots of housewives. Then we had the feminist movement, after which more women were able to work and support themselves, with a philosophy telling them they needed to to be fulfilled. This was followed by divorce.

Women being able to earn money apart from their husbands, without husbands having any legal authority over them, combined with the sexual revolution, and no-fault divorce seems to have led to a lot of divorces in society. Many of the churches have adapted their teaching and doctrine to fit with the widespread divorce.

With regards to your last sentence about the Churches adapting this norm, I would also include that many denominations don’t even teach on the sanctity and holiness of marriage. I believe this has also lead to increase of divorces among Christians. Unfortunately marriage is viewed as an expendable commodity by too many.

interesting, well in cities where more people live, are more job opportunites but people need to live in 'apartments' if they want to be close to their work not togetherments.
and apartments are not exactly ideal to raise families in. Too small and cramped and too, much opportuniy to fall out of them.
Only very rich people can afford a house AND an apartment.

I think a lot of them agree to any couple getting married even if they arent believers, dont tell them what to expect or how to behave, as long as they pay the marriage license fee. Most people decades ago, would get married in a church and then would never attend again until someone in their family dies for the funeral. They want to the ministers blessing but they dont eant to have to obey or do anything further with the church family that they supposedly married into.