As a Christian, is it really so wrong to want to stay away from people?

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Going_Nowhere

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
#1
Nov 10, 2019
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#1
It seems like quite a number of times on here, whenever I mention how much I enjoy my solitude and wish to remain a recluse, I usually have someone telling me "You need to get out more" or "That's not the Christian way" or something like that.


But why? What's so wrong with wanting to be alone all the time....even if I am a Christian?


Not trying to sound mean or aggressive here, but you don't know why I am the way I am. You don't know what I've experienced that led me to choose this lifestyle for myself. So I don't think you should judge me or try to tell me how to live my life.


Everyone is different. And for every person that acts or behaves a certain way, there is always a person that acts the opposite. For every person that is a social butterfly and loves people....there is always someone who is not a fan of people and would rather be alone. So I think it's a normal and natural thing....people who are always or are usually alone.


I don't hurt anyone. I'm not some psycho serial killer that goes out at night and looks for his next victim. Some people have this attitude or mindset that there is something wrong with people that want this kind of lifestyle. But I don't think that's necessarily true at all.


Bottom line: I'm content being alone all the time. Might sound strange or unusual to some people, but I really am happy living this way. I enjoy my privacy and time to myself very much. Some people fear being alone. I fear being around people. Some people feel happiest and most comfortable when they're around others. I feel happiest and most comfortable being at home where there's no one around. And if I'm happy with my lifestyle....why should you try to tell me any different? Give me a good reason why.


Sorry if this sounds aggressive or unfriendly. I don't mean for it to. I'm just trying to share my thoughts and I feel very strongly about this....as you might be able to tell by reading this.


Let me know what you think....if you want to, that is. :p
 
I

itsallaboutfaith

New member
#2
Oct 7, 2019
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#2
I think solitude can be peaceful and help in reflection of things. I am not a people person myself; however, I do go out and shop and things, but find it difficult to be around others whom are just plain rude. It can be unhealthy if your not socializing at all in any way shape or form...people can make us feel uncomfortable, and if a person is just socializing to socialize then what is the purpose in that? I was once told friends are over rated and you can count your true friends on one hand and those are you family members. God has designed us all differently that's the beauty in his design. I have stopped watching tv and movies and have inundated myself with knowledge of Christ and all kinds of stuff on the internet, like illuminati, real meaning of Christmas and so much more. My family things I am crazy but I feel as though my eyes are open and so much wrong and corruption and in a day and time like today we need to get ourselves straight rather than live it up with friends and socializing. If your happy and satisfied, and safe well then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Some people can be envious of that and wish they could be happy doing that. Since, I have been saved since I was 17 I spent little time learning the word because I was too worried about getting out and doing things with and for others, now it's my time, I feel no guilt. and I will pray for others to leave you alone, and you keep standing up for what you feel best with. Christians can spread the word and be good examples via internet too, and writing as well as prayer groups. Hope this helps, a little input.
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#3
Jul 2, 2011
21,422
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#3
What dod I think? I believe the Father has given you to be as you are...Your words bless me. Thank you for sharing them, and may your peace always be from Jesus, Yeshua,..
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#4
Jul 18, 2017
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#4
Going_Nowhere said:
But why? What's so wrong with wanting to be alone all the time....even if I am a Christian?
Click to expand...
The monks and the hermits would be glad to have you join them. But neither Christ nor His apostles were monks and hermits. So you need to make up your mind.
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#5
Jul 2, 2011
21,422
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#5
JaumeJ said:
What dod I think? I believe the Father has given you to be as you are...Your words bless me. Thank you for sharing them, and may your peace always be from Jesus, Yeshua,..
Click to expand...
JaumeJ said:
What dod I think? I believe the Father has given you to be as you are...Your words bless me. Thank you for sharing them, and may your peace always be from Jesus, Yeshua,..
Click to expand...
The opening should read "What do I..."

When our Father took me to Him He told me everything about my way, given by Him of course, and part of it was "There would be no trees on this road." I understood implicitely for it was for me to understanddd. And so it is with all whom He "takes to Him."
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#6
Jul 24, 2016
7,581
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#6
Going_Nowhere said:
It seems like quite a number of times on here, whenever I mention how much I enjoy my solitude and wish to remain a recluse, I usually have someone telling me "You need to get out more" or "That's not the Christian way" or something like that.


But why? What's so wrong with wanting to be alone all the time....even if I am a Christian?


Not trying to sound mean or aggressive here, but you don't know why I am the way I am. You don't know what I've experienced that led me to choose this lifestyle for myself. So I don't think you should judge me or try to tell me how to live my life.


Everyone is different. And for every person that acts or behaves a certain way, there is always a person that acts the opposite. For every person that is a social butterfly and loves people....there is always someone who is not a fan of people and would rather be alone. So I think it's a normal and natural thing....people who are always or are usually alone.


I don't hurt anyone. I'm not some psycho serial killer that goes out at night and looks for his next victim. Some people have this attitude or mindset that there is something wrong with people that want this kind of lifestyle. But I don't think that's necessarily true at all.


Bottom line: I'm content being alone all the time. Might sound strange or unusual to some people, but I really am happy living this way. I enjoy my privacy and time to myself very much. Some people fear being alone. I fear being around people. Some people feel happiest and most comfortable when they're around others. I feel happiest and most comfortable being at home where there's no one around. And if I'm happy with my lifestyle....why should you try to tell me any different? Give me a good reason why.


Sorry if this sounds aggressive or unfriendly. I don't mean for it to. I'm just trying to share my thoughts and I feel very strongly about this....as you might be able to tell by reading this.


Let me know what you think....if you want to, that is. :p
Click to expand...
I am also an introvert.. Not excessively so, but i enjoy solitude and i dislike a crowd..

But the extreme position of absolute solitude is not good..

How can you love others if you never interact with them?
 
Going_Nowhere

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
#7
Nov 10, 2019
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#7
Adstar said:
How can you love others if you never interact with them?
Click to expand...
To be perfectly honest....I don't love people. I don't even like them. I have a negative view or attitude of people in general. That's one reason (not the only reason) why I prefer to be alone. I'm simply not a fan of people. That's just how I feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️
 
StrugglingTilMyReward

StrugglingTilMyReward

Well-known member
#8
Aug 10, 2019
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#8
Going_Nowhere said:
To be perfectly honest....I don't love people. I don't even like them. I have a negative view or attitude of people in general. That's one reason (not the only reason) why I prefer to be alone. I'm simply not a fan of people. That's just how I feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Click to expand...
Reading your original post I found a lot I could agree with.....scripture has many passages admonishing the reader to BE STILL. For me a lot of that stillness is in the mind, and its hard to "still" one's mind in a crowd, you need to be alone for that.

However the post quoted above seems to me to contradict another element of scripture where Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, heck we're told to even love our enemies, those who've done evil to us. As with many things in life finding a balance can be difficult...and it seems you've decided on an either or approach....social butterfiles who don't enjoy solitude could probably do with some alone time for reflection and prayer, while those more inclinded to solitude maybe need to engage in fellowship more often.

Your first post indicates that you've had some experience(s) however you don't give any detail, and I'm not asking for any....but I'm led by logic to believe that the experience you've had around people that's led you to choose a more solitary lifestyle....I'm thinking its obvious that it had to be something or somethings that were negative. I know also that negative experiences can weigh heavy on a person....and I'll pray that through God's loving grace you can find some peace.

Be blessed.
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#9
Jul 2, 2011
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#9
Going_Nowhere said:
To be perfectly honest....I don't love people. I don't even like them. I have a negative view or attitude of people in general. That's one reason (not the only reason) why I prefer to be alone. I'm simply not a fan of people. That's just how I feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Click to expand...
jUST A COMMENT. i AM LIKING TO BELIEVE WHEN YOU SAY YOU DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE THIS DOES NOT TRANSLATE AS YOU HATE THEM. (forgive thecaps).

As long as it is in the spirit of not yielding to flesh over the spirit of God, there is everything right about your attitude for we are not to confide in flesh, not even in ourselves but only our Father, so no harm no foul.

Ithis regard my feelings ar the same. I know I love all people, but this does not ranslate as my confiding in any nor trusting any completely, not before trusting the Hoy Sirit……….there are many nuances to this but the idea is in the post I believe. God bless you.
 
Demi777

Demi777

Senior Member
#10
Oct 13, 2014
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#10
Theres no problem with liking to be alone more and not being super social. I just think that its unhealthy and not anyones call to lock themselves up 24/7.
I do think God wants us to at least have a small circle like a few ppl in church to build each other up and grow in God and live out the individual calling he gives
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#11
Dec 16, 2016
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#11
" Love G-d, love your fellow man" was what Jesus commanded us to live out if we are His.
"seeking the highest good of the other person and doing what is possible to do to meet that need", is my understanding of what it means to walk it out.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#12
Going_Nowhere said:
It seems like quite a number of times on here, whenever I mention how much I enjoy my solitude and wish to remain a recluse, I usually have someone telling me "You need to get out more" or "That's not the Christian way" or something like that.


But why? What's so wrong with wanting to be alone all the time....even if I am a Christian?


Not trying to sound mean or aggressive here, but you don't know why I am the way I am. You don't know what I've experienced that led me to choose this lifestyle for myself. So I don't think you should judge me or try to tell me how to live my life.

I dont know, I guess if you dont want anyone coming to your funeral or maybe they may find your body weeks after you are dead. I dunno. Or maybe if you fall sick or injured, you might want to some people around, and then you will find some of them arent so bad and arent out to kill you. Hugs are also good sometimes.
Everyone is different. And for every person that acts or behaves a certain way, there is always a person that acts the opposite. For every person that is a social butterfly and loves people....there is always someone who is not a fan of people and would rather be alone. So I think it's a normal and natural thing....people who are always or are usually alone.


I don't hurt anyone. I'm not some psycho serial killer that goes out at night and looks for his next victim. Some people have this attitude or mindset that there is something wrong with people that want this kind of lifestyle. But I don't think that's necessarily true at all.


Bottom line: I'm content being alone all the time. Might sound strange or unusual to some people, but I really am happy living this way. I enjoy my privacy and time to myself very much. Some people fear being alone. I fear being around people. Some people feel happiest and most comfortable when they're around others. I feel happiest and most comfortable being at home where there's no one around. And if I'm happy with my lifestyle....why should you try to tell me any different? Give me a good reason why.


Sorry if this sounds aggressive or unfriendly. I don't mean for it to. I'm just trying to share my thoughts and I feel very strongly about this....as you might be able to tell by reading this.


Let me know what you think....if you want to, that is. :p
Click to expand...
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
#13
#13
Going_Nowhere said:
To be perfectly honest....I don't love people. I don't even like them. I have a negative view or attitude of people in general. That's one reason (not the only reason) why I prefer to be alone. I'm simply not a fan of people. That's just how I feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Click to expand...
Just a question GN. If you don't like people like you say how come you post, communicate and interact on this site. Perhaps you mean you like your space, still communicating and talking with others but when you feel like it. Just a thought :)
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#14
Dec 15, 2018
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#14
just post again cos for some reason it didnt reply properly.

I was just going to say if for any reason you fall sick or injured you might want some people around and find out that not everyone is out to kill you. Also hugs are good sometimes. Especially when its cold.
 
shittim

shittim

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#15
Dec 16, 2016
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#15
It is true that it is more desirable to be with Jesus than people, we are still required to be His hands and feet in this world, as He grows you in His ways we are required to hear His guidance to interact with people to do His Will.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#16
May 23, 2009
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#16
Ruby123 said:
Just a question GN. If you don't like people like you say how come you post, communicate and interact on this site. Perhaps you mean you like your space, still communicating and talking with others but when you feel like it. Just a thought :)
Click to expand...
I have to second this post.

I'm a fellow introvert, so I know what it's like to want to hide away from other people.

But I know I must not be a complete introvert, because I do enjoy talking to people through written correspondence.

I have always wondered this too -- why do people who claim they don't like people spend so much time on the internet?

(I know that for myself, I like it because I have more control over the interactions -- I don't get trapped listening to someone talk about only themselves for an hour or two, and I actually get a chance to say something back.) And if the other person doesn't have any interest in what I have to say (which is usually why I'll stop communicating), it's a lot easier to fade away into the background.

How about you, Going?
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#17
Jul 24, 2016
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#17
Going_Nowhere said:
To be perfectly honest....I don't love people. I don't even like them. I have a negative view or attitude of people in general. That's one reason (not the only reason) why I prefer to be alone. I'm simply not a fan of people. That's just how I feel. 🤷🏻‍♂️
Click to expand...
But do you think it is a good thing to think that way or do you think it is a bad thing to think that way..

Is it the will of God for you to love others or is it the will of God for you to not love others..
 
shittim

shittim

Senior Member
#18
Dec 16, 2016
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#18
" Love G-d, love your fellow man" is what my Bible commands of us.
best wishes
 
WingsOfLight

WingsOfLight

Well-known member
#19
Dec 10, 2019
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#19
I get what you are saying. People don't understand and can't grasp who you are or why you are this way. It's not a fault on your part.

You're right, everyone is different. That's the way it should be. No one should be pre judged. However, it does happen a lot more these days.

Some people will accept you for you, and some people won't.
Some people will respect you and some people won't.
It's not your job to figure out why, as long as you are happy, that's what really matters. Only you can live your life.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#20
Aug 12, 2011
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#20
I’m a loner. I often say I don’t like people, but the truth is it takes me a long time to be comfortable with someone, and sometimes, I dont want to take the time or put in the effort to build friendships. But I believe God made us for community, whether that is several friends or just 2 or 3. I think that’s why many of us use the forums. It’s a way to connect with others. If we were REALLY recluse, I think we would have no connection with the outside world.

just my opinion though.
 
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