Greetings, EarthlySinner65! 🙂
Let me first say, believe it or not I understand a little bit of what you're going through. I'm 23 and have never really had a steady, more-than-very-brief boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I have experienced the emotions that accompany loneliness. I remember the frustration. But God did something in me. And He is doing something in me. And it is something beautiful! Something I would NOT change if I could.
To answer your thread question bluntly, yes. I do believe all Christians will suffer. Being born again means our loyalty is no longer to the selfish flesh, but rather our loyalty is to God Almighty. He bought us with a price. Remaining in this body of flesh, we will meet with trials and temptations that test our loyalty. These tests are painful, but they are good because through them we may be refined, purified, and perfected to the praise and glory of God. The question is- Will Christians suffer well?
Some people do not believe that God has a specific will regarding who we are to marry. I disagree. In my own life, I am quite certain my Father has a particular man picked out for me. I believe He confirmed to me that I would have a husband if I remain loyal and true to Him, living as a woman of character (like Ruth). There have been at least 3 times now where I have met a Christian man, liked him, asked Father if he was the one, and received a clear, distinct, and firm answer, "No". I have had to completely walk away from these men. I do not regret one iota having walked away from any one of them. I am absolutely confident it is what God wanted me to do.
Was it hard? Yes! Was I tempted to rebel? Yes! But, praise my Father God, He empowered me to be steadfast in my loyalty to Him in these tests.
EarthlySinner65, please, Please, believe you can trust God!! One of the adversary's oldest tricks in the book is to make us think God is withholding from us, that He cannot be trusted, that He should be doubted. Remember Eve and the serpent in the garden of Eden? (Genesis 3)
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11
"But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:14-17
If you want to be obedient to Christ, you must surrender your desire for a girlfriend/wife to Him. You have to hold this desire open-handed before Him and trust Him with it. "Thy will be done." Your desire for a godly wife cannot compete with Him on the throne of your heart. I am speaking this as a warning. If you rebel and go your way instead of surrendering, waiting, and following His, you may get a wife but you will forfeit that which is best. <This is what many, many Christians have done. And they are reaping what they have sown.
(Speaking of the Israelites
"13They quickly forgot His works;
They did not wait for His counsel,
14But craved intensely in the wilderness,
And tempted God in the desert.
15So He gave them their request,
But sent a wasting disease among them."
Psalm 106:13-14
(I encourage you to read the entire chapter.)
You think if you only had a wife you could then serve God happily and be fulfilled in ministry. Paul teaches that with marriage come many troubles. (1 Corinthians 7:28) I have had your sentiment in the past too. But, truthfully, a wife does not equip you for ministry- the Holy Spirit does. (She may support, but God equips.) If He can't enable you, nobody can. Thankfully, He can enable you- even now in your single state. 🙂 Don't forget that you do have One who loves you more than any human being ever could. ❤️
You've got to come to a place where you surrender completely. This is what Jesus did, and this is what we are called to do as well.
"In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:6-7
If you view God as an enemy, it will end badly. You have to resist that. Think of all of the things you do have and what He has done for you! Force yourself. That was part of the Israelites' problem in Psalm 106- they "forgot His works". Don't forget what He has done for you and what He is doing for you. Choose not to dwell on your craving. Resist grumbling. Thank Him and delve into His Word. Ask Him for the ability to surrender this desire to Him and to grow in strength in the fiery furnace of testing!
In my own life, I have had to get rid of stuff that makes me dwell on my desire for a husband. Ridding my life of secular music, secular books, secular tv, Facebook, etc has greatly helped me. God is my first love. To Him is my loyalty due. And my life must reflect this- suffering and all. Radical though I may be, I have assurance in His pleasure with me. I am at peace.
Another thing that has helped me put my suffering of loneliness in perspective is reading true stories of Christians who are persecuted. (Visit persecution.com) Their suffering is much more painful than mine. One story that has been on my mind lately and has provided inspiration for me is a Christian man in Romania who refused to give up information about his fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to the authorities (because he knew the authorities would imprison and torture them as well). They tortured him. He refused to cave. They then brought in his 14 year old son and began torturing the son in front of him in a heinous manner. The father finally said he couldn't take it any longer. But his son said, "Father, don't do me the injustice of having a traitor for a parent. Stand strong! If they kill me I will die with the word 'Jesus' on my lips." The father then had the courage to stand strong. The son was beaten to death. Great will their reward be!
How far are you willing to go to remain loyal to Christ? Will you suffer well, brother, to the glory of God? Those who give up everything for Him will be abundantly rewarded. If your life were on the line, would you refuse to renounce Christ? Your practice is in the trial you now find yourself in. Where does your loyalty lie?
"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29
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