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I was trying to count in my head the number of couples I could recall during my time here (granted, it's been a while.)
Off the top of my head, I could remember about 10 (most had announced it publicly on social media, so it wasn't just rumors.)
How many of those couples are still together today?
Hmm... JesusLives and Tourist. At least, that's all I know of, and I'm sure there were/are many more. Most were just relationships but a few were marriages. Some fell in love with people who didn't really exist in real life, but were made up for the internet.
There was another particular marriage that I remember seeing publicly announced here but they both left the site, so I don't know what happened. I hope everything worked out for them, as they seemed like a good match.
I'm certainly not trying to discourage anyone. This site has been an enormous blessing to me for meeting friends, both online and then later in real life, so I have no doubt that couples can find each other here as well.
However, I also think that it's important to be realistic. To only say that marriages are made here but not also have the heartaches and breakups mentioned too would be like promoting prosperity preaching.
As for who these people were, that was in the past, and their stories are theirs alone to tell.
However, the most common reason given for the breakups, when a public reason was given, seemed to be because of long distances that were tough to work around.
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I used Christian Mingle and it was the best for one reason... they had a live chat room. Lots of people would log on nightly and fellowship. I made a few friends to this day from that chat room. When they took it down due to a few complaints it went downhill quickly. I got quite a few interactions from Zoosk, eharmony, and Match. It helps living near a big city. Lots of scammers though which turn many people off from using them. Any internet site or dating app you have to be careful.
K
Yes, it seems like a trap. An endless cycle with no good results. For every 1 person who finds love on the internet, there is 1000 who found frustration.
You need loads of patience to sift through all the rubble.
And loads of stamina to get through all the disappointment, and keep searching. Perhaps its an addiction.
You need loads of patience to sift through all the rubble.
And loads of stamina to get through all the disappointment, and keep searching. Perhaps its an addiction.
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One thing that has been apparent to me when I have been on dating sites is that quite a lot of men are not willing to re-locate; if this is for a valid reason such as needing to stay near their children then I respect that totally; however, if a man is truly at a place in his heart where he is willing to lay down his life for his wife then surely he would be willing to forsake all for her... I reminded of the verse which says a man shall leave his Father & Mother. I have some Christian friends who God very obviously brought together-it is an amazing testimony; the husband (in England) remained a bachelor til age 46, a totally sold-out for God Christian, the wife had been married to a Pastor and widowed for 10 years, bringing up her children, she lived in Canada. The ministries which both of them were involved with became acquainted and it became obvious very quickly what God was doing with these to people. They have been married for about 13 years now and have a son, Joshua. They are very active in ministry together. God brought the wife to England from Canada so this was the opposite way around to what I mentioned from Genesis, and also Ruth was brought to Boaz, Rebekah to Isaac; but the point really is that if a man I am not willing to do this then it begs the question is he really ready to marry? Our lives are not our own; so surely we should be fully surrendered to do whatever He requires. My heart is that I hope I am being helpful here❤️
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Respectfully, I think you have misinterpreted the relevant passage, and set up a standard that no mere human could (or should) meet. Paul instructed husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Paul did not instruct the prospective husband to give up everything in his life for a prospective wife. A husband should indeed be willing to surrender his life (literal, not figurative) for his wife, but asking him to give up everything in his life prior to marriage; well, only Christ could do that, because only Christ knows the future with certainty.
Such a view would run contrary to the wisdom of Proverbs 24:7, "Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house" or, in plain English, get your means of income established before taking on the responsibilities of a family. A man who has to leave all behind (including home, career, pension, investments, etc.), move to where you are, and start from scratch, is not going to be someone who will be able to provide for you right away, or for a while. Expecting him to do all that "on faith" is foolhardy if it is not what God has told him to do.
Would it not make a whole lot more sense to consider a man who is established in "his" world, who has a job, a home, and a pension, and to move yourself to him? You seem to be acknowledging the biblical examples, and contradicting them in the same breath. Ruth gave up her all and moved, not even knowing Boaz existed, and Rebecca gave up her all and moved to Isaac. Further, although Christ lay down His life for His bride, He also calls on her to lay down her life for Him... prior to the "marriage".
I can't think of a biblical example where a godly man moved into his fiancee's world and stayed there at her request. Not even Jesus did that; He came to us because we could not go to Him, not because we would not.
Such a view would run contrary to the wisdom of Proverbs 24:7, "Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house" or, in plain English, get your means of income established before taking on the responsibilities of a family. A man who has to leave all behind (including home, career, pension, investments, etc.), move to where you are, and start from scratch, is not going to be someone who will be able to provide for you right away, or for a while. Expecting him to do all that "on faith" is foolhardy if it is not what God has told him to do.
Would it not make a whole lot more sense to consider a man who is established in "his" world, who has a job, a home, and a pension, and to move yourself to him? You seem to be acknowledging the biblical examples, and contradicting them in the same breath. Ruth gave up her all and moved, not even knowing Boaz existed, and Rebecca gave up her all and moved to Isaac. Further, although Christ lay down His life for His bride, He also calls on her to lay down her life for Him... prior to the "marriage".
I can't think of a biblical example where a godly man moved into his fiancee's world and stayed there at her request. Not even Jesus did that; He came to us because we could not go to Him, not because we would not.
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Respectfully, I think you have misinterpreted the relevant passage, and set up a standard that no mere human could (or should) meet. Paul instructed husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Paul did not instruct the prospective husband to give up everything in his life for a prospective wife. A husband should indeed be willing to surrender his life (literal, not figurative) for his wife, but asking him to give up everything in his life prior to marriage; well, only Christ could do that, because only Christ knows the future with certainty.
Such a view would run contrary to the wisdom of Proverbs 24:7, "Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house" or, in plain English, get your means of income established before taking on the responsibilities of a family. A man who has to leave all behind (including home, career, pension, investments, etc.), move to where you are, and start from scratch, is not going to be someone who will be able to provide for you right away, or for a while. Expecting him to do all that "on faith" is foolhardy if it is not what God has told him to do.
Would it not make a whole lot more sense to consider a man who is established in "his" world, who has a job, a home, and a pension, and to move yourself to him? You seem to be acknowledging the biblical examples, and contradicting them in the same breath. Ruth gave up her all and moved, not even knowing Boaz existed, and Rebecca gave up her all and moved to Isaac. Further, although Christ lay down His life for His bride, He also calls on her to lay down her life for Him... prior to the "marriage".
I can't think of a biblical example where a godly man moved into his fiancee's world and stayed there at her request. Not even Jesus did that; He came to us because we could not go to Him, not because we would not.
Such a view would run contrary to the wisdom of Proverbs 24:7, "Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house" or, in plain English, get your means of income established before taking on the responsibilities of a family. A man who has to leave all behind (including home, career, pension, investments, etc.), move to where you are, and start from scratch, is not going to be someone who will be able to provide for you right away, or for a while. Expecting him to do all that "on faith" is foolhardy if it is not what God has told him to do.
Would it not make a whole lot more sense to consider a man who is established in "his" world, who has a job, a home, and a pension, and to move yourself to him? You seem to be acknowledging the biblical examples, and contradicting them in the same breath. Ruth gave up her all and moved, not even knowing Boaz existed, and Rebecca gave up her all and moved to Isaac. Further, although Christ lay down His life for His bride, He also calls on her to lay down her life for Him... prior to the "marriage".
I can't think of a biblical example where a godly man moved into his fiancee's world and stayed there at her request. Not even Jesus did that; He came to us because we could not go to Him, not because we would not.
I don't believe I have misinterpreted the passage at all really- the man becomes one with his wife- his life is with her now, completely, and no longer with his parents (not that he would forget all about them, or not love and care about them of course). The standard I have set up or rather that I believe God would have us set up, in marriage, is one that I see in scripture and in Christ Himself, which is for both parties to be willing to give their all for the other. This indeed speaks of Christ and His Church, and is, I believe, the key to a happy marriage. And I quite agree, this is no mere human endeavour, but it is that of one who is fully surrendered to God, of one who faithfully says, "Not my will Lord but Yours be done." It is an attitude of heart, mind, soul and strength; it is complete trust in God's leading, so that if He dies lead you and tell you to do such a thing, He knows you are able to obey Him. I doubt whether He would have required what He did of Abraham or Job unless He knew He could trust them to trust Him/ be faithful. My friends I shared about, well, the wife is an accountant; if she had decided to stay where she was established, and in the security of church family etc. after being widowed, she may have missed out on the very blessed life she has now. Her grown up kids adore their step-dad, they have a little brother and the whole family are very active in ministry.
And how would it be if those who have gone wherever God has sent on the Mission field, were not willing to forsake all for Him even if they were financially established, for you cannot serve God and Mammon, and indeed if He sends, He will provide, and if at anyone He doesn't then He even has a purpose in this, His glory; like when George Muller had a boy's home full of orphans and no food, and God miraculously provided, or the woman in the Bible with the cruz of oil. Christ does know the future, with certainty and they that are led by His Spirit, are His children.
Proverbs 24:7 is wisdom indeed, and if a man will not provideforhis family he is worse than an unbeliever. However, and I say this respectfully, you are leaning on your own understanding when you assume that leaving home, career, pension and investments to move where your wife is would mean that you could not provide for her right away, because God will make a way where there seems to be no way if it is His will; and for all you know, there may be many solutions to this, that He has prepared ahead of you, unbeknown to you.
Of course, if it is God's will for the woman to move to where the man is established, then yes, this is like the examples of Ruth and Boaz or Isaac and Rebekah. Ruth gave up her all for Naomi because she loved her and was faithful. Rebecca was obedient to the Lord, she obviously trusted Him and could see Him at work in the situation. These women obviously had hearts that were right before God, prior to marriage, and that is my point. Jacob agreed to work for Rachael for 7 years, prior to marrying her. The late Derek Prince was serving in the British Army in Israel when he met Lydia, who herself was Mother to 8 orphaned girls and was only in Israel as she had fully surrendered her life to God even giving up her excellent job, family, country and large inheritance to serve Him and so was fully surrendered to Him prior to God bringing her and Derek together; which brings me onto another point.... Don't you think God is a match-maker?😁
There's a huge difference between radical obedience to a specific call of God and going about your romantic relationships wisely and practically. So while we can say that if you're going to get into a long distance relationship you should be willing either to relocate or to assist the other party in relocating to where you are, it is neither Biblical nor wise to assume that if someone moves God's going to make it easy for them to get established in the new career and that everything is magically going to work out and happen just because you're "in love" and feel that you should be together. Yes Christian people sometimes meet when they're both serving as singles on the mission field, but usually they have the advantage of living in the same place for that time the relationship forms even if they're from different parts of the world. That's an advantage you may not have in online dating and a different situation from someone moving to a new location to start their life with another person. (And I'd be living proof that just because you go into some ministry and serve God doesn't mean you'll get a spouse (unless you want to blame me and say I wasn't worthy of a spouse because I couldn't stick it out in ministry until God finally brought a spouse my way)).
But to say there's a problem with men being in online dating and not wanting to move and imply that they aren't good husband material or spiritual enough because of it. That's just plain incorrect. And probably a good example of what my friend has been trying to show me about how some Christians seem to think that in a relationship / marriage a man should take all the risk, shoulder all the responsibility, and order his life around the woman without expecting a reciprocal sacrifice and commitment from her.
Short version: Butterflyyy are YOU willing to relocate? If so, he doesn't need to relocate. If not, why would you require of him what you are not willing to do yourself?
There is no Bible mandate for the man to move to where the woman is. To claim there is, is to yank verses out of context and twist them, which is how lots of weird doctrines get started.
There is no Bible mandate for the man to move to where the woman is. To claim there is, is to yank verses out of context and twist them, which is how lots of weird doctrines get started.
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In order for it to work, both have to discuss their situation and both have to be willing to make an agreement and compromise that would be best for the couple and family. If the situation doesn’t align or brings peace from God more than likely that person is not what God has planned for your life. It’s not all about one or the other, it’s about both.
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