Awkward

Im just wondering how many of us feel we are awkward or lack social graces and maybe theres somewhere to learn them, like a charm school or something.

Or maybe the Bible can help us out here?

Like I kinda know its rude to burp in front of people, but in my mum chinese culture its polite.
looking people in the eye is considered good too, but, its the opposite in Chinese culture again, if you stare at people, its actually really rude and threatening.

if you are going to beg for money at least I would sing for my supper than risk indignity and put my hat out with a sign saying has anyone got spare change to feed me? But then you walk pass these people sitting there asking you for money is it ok to say well sing me a song first and then you can have your supper.

Is it rude to ask for a discount? If you dont ask, you dont receive...

what other etiquette do we need to be familiar with?

Being familiar or experiencing ones culture is probably a good way to understand the culture. I know there’s always going to be a clash of cultural differences, but aslong as we respect eachothers differences then it shouldn’t be a big deal.

I think the only time for me when it becomes awkward is when I am not doing it properly or doing it wrong lol.

Hi, Lanolin. 🙂 This is an interesting subject that I've pondered on before.

I try to be sensitive to offending others. For example, I've had to work on ceasing to finish people's sentences for them or cut them off. Also, one of my friends has sensitive ears, so I have to watch my volume sometimes.

I am reminded of this Bible verse:
"Let your foot rarely be in your neighbor's house, Or he will become weary of you and hate you." Proverbs 25:17

Also, I've heard that in the Indian culture, it is rude to arrive early or even on time for a meal or party. It is tacitly understood that you will arrive 15-20 minutes after the scheduled time apparently. This is so that the host/hostess will be fully prepared.

The other night we had our Sunday School Christmas party at the church and I decided that I would do something out of my norm. I decided I would actually play with the kids- by which I mean run around. 😮 Normally I am not this "immature". Lol. To be honest, it felt a little awkward. I wondered what all the adults were thinking, because I knew they didn't usually see me in this mode. But you know what? It was okay. I enjoyed it. The kids enjoyed it. And I think the parents enjoyed having a "responsible" adult playing and supervising at the same time. I'm glad I was a little awkward. 🙂

I think the only REALLY awkward thing is when people insist everybody should do what their culture does, and make fun of those from other places who have no idea what their culture expects.

But humans seem to have an instinctive reflex for mocking anybody who is different, not like the rest of the group in some way.

Elibeth..
I have to work on not interrupting people, but sometimes you have to do it with some people otherwise you never get a word in. I dont finish peoples sentences for them though, I find that a bit offputting...so if someone takes a long time would you finish their sentences..like they would start saying Good...and you would cut in and say Bye?

I didnt know that in some cultures you had to bring your own or pay for food at parties. I used to think the host would provide everything, or they wouldnt bother putting on a party. so its a bit awkward to be invited and then told you need to bring all this food or pay them first.

Another thing I find awkward is when people feel like they want to correct you when you havent asked for it. are you supposed to say THANK YOU so much for pointing out all my shortcomings? In front of everyone else?

when people give you a wrapped gift are you supposed to unwrap it straight after they give it to you? What happens if you dont like it or you already have the same thing.

I just put it aside and unwrap it later and and then send a thank you card or message. But I dont always send thank you for everything if its obvious what it is, like flowers or chocolates.

I find it a bit weird how some people expect you to unwrap a gift straight away.

What is really awkward is when somebody keeps bumping her own threads a lot.

At least Lanolin isn't as preachy as the last inveterate thread bumper.

This is a weird or awkward situation, when you go buy lunch and your friend expects you to go halves and share it with you despite the fact you are so hungry you could eat the whole dish. And the portion is meant to be for one person.

Someimes it makes me think the person is too cheap to buy their own. One shouldnt assume that all food is going to be split in half. What if you dont like or cant eat what the other person is having?

Well God must know I need help because I found a book that might answer all my social dilemmas called 'Charm School' and it has got all these sticky stituations in it.

- How to dump a man graciously
-How to avoid paying for someone elses lobster at group dinner
-How to enjoy a workplace flirtation and not get fired ...?!
-How to handle difficult friendships
-How to cope with running into ex-boyfriends (so far, not a problem)
-How to avoid falling in love with a gorgeous man who is a gay or otherwise unavailable
-How to exact revenge in the politest possible way


hmm. althought the Bible does say favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that fears the Lord she shall be praised...but then Mrs Proverbs 31 was married and probably never had to encounter the problems modern singles face.

Cant wait to enrol.

I think I might learn some things, because reading fantasy series where people wave magic wands over things and cast spells doesnt work.

Harry Potter - your parents die what do you do? Spending five years learning magic on how to Kill voldemort. On the plus side, you meet your match Hermione while enrolled in Hogwarts, and marry her straight after you graduate, problem solved.

Book of Job. satan kills all your family except your wife, but your wife says curse God and die. You talk to all your friends who are miserable comforters and then God speaks to you from out of nowhere after you complaining about life and asks well where where You when I created the universe? Its rather awkward.
However, he gives you twice as much you had as before because you didnt curse Him out.

I have always wondered if Jobs wife stayed with him or whether he remarried after that singular piece of advice.

I had a chance to read Charm School and it did have some good advice in there (for ladies)
The parts that I found useful was dealing with difficult friends.
and stalkers.

It doesnt have anything to say about dealing with homeless people though, and assumes all women work in an office.

The 'gay-dar' section I found interesting, its on how not to fall in love with a gay man. The author was speaking from experience and had ten things to look out for. I was like hmm really. She suggests gay men like reality tv shows, look at their music collection for certain 'gay music' and they like their own kitchens. If they have a coffee machine that takes pride of place, thats a sure sign. If they ask you to work dos and family events, its just to convince others they are straight. huh.