I was going to start a thread on this but I'll just lay it here for those whom it might help like yourself, OP. If it helps to know, I do understand what you are experiencing and I think this may help you as it as helped me.
The Jesus Prayer as Psychotherapy
As medicine, the Jesus Prayer is destructive of the passions and altering of conduct. Just as a doctor places a dressing on a patient's wound, and the dressing works without the patient's knowing how, calling on the Name of God "removes the passions" without our knowing how and why, according to Barsanupius and John. The Holy Name, when repeated quietly, penetrates the soul rather like a drop of oil, spreading out and impregnating a cloth. Our modern translation of "mercy" is limited and insufficient. "Mercy" comes from the Greek
eleison.
Eleison has the same root as
elaion which means olive and olive oil. In the Middle East, olive oil provides physical healing for many sicknesses, particularly respiratory. "Have mercy" means to have "healing oil" on my soul. The Fathers tell us that praying the Sacred Name changes our personality, from overstrain to joy. "Hitherto you have asked nothing in my
Name; ask, and you will receive, that your
joy may be full" (Jn 16:24). The Jesus Prayer functions as therapy, much like healing oil, transforming our personality from overstrain to joy, and by continuing to pray, these changes become permanent.
CLICK THE LINK
https://www.svots.edu/saying-jesus-prayer