Broken families, broken kids

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#1
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#1
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#2
Feb 9, 2019
9,422
4,837
113
#2
"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."

BLOG PIC TWO.png
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#3
Lanolin said:
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
Click to expand...
How does one separate God's children from other God's children? Being disruptive, attention seeking, and just plain rude describes most children at one time or another.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#4
Jun 30, 2015
25,599
13,861
113
#4
Lanolin said:
Hands up if you look after broken kids...how do you effectively reach out to them?

It might be their dads in jail or they dont even know their dad. They may have dozens of half siblings they may not even know about. They seem rebellious and always talking back. Maybe they are just hungry. They take up more of your time than the well behaved children and are disruptive, attention seeking or just plain rude.

How do you handle them? What can we pray for them? Or do we just separate them from other children?
Click to expand...
Perhaps it was not your intention, but your statements (in bold) put the blame solely on the fathers. I'd strongly encourage you to rethink that. It takes two to tango; mothers are often at fault for broken homes. I have more thoughts on the topic, but I don't see any point in shoring up an unbalanced view of the causes.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#5
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#5
tourist said:
How does one separate God's children from other God's children? Being disruptive, attention seeking, and just plain rude describes most children at one time or another.
Click to expand...
So if they hitting and Yelling and screaming at each other you dont separate them? If they making each other cry you do nothing?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#6
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#6
Bingo said:
"Handle them with LOVE!
And, in so doing, I personally learned how it forever changed my life. Twenty two years ago
we took in a child from an abusive surrounding. The effects are heart breaking how a child
can be effected by a hostile or abusive environment, it has to be witnessed. We went through
all the ups and downs, and even times of tears, we maintained expressing our love. Gradually
the child became stable and adjusted well. We adopted our grandson, and today he is a loving
and caring adult that we are very thankful for. LOVE is the best therapy, it's priceless."

View attachment 206030
Click to expand...
Aw, how did they cope with the other children..? Or were there no other children was it just that child you adopted?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#7
Lanolin said:
So if they hitting and Yelling and screaming at each other you dont separate them? If they making each other cry you do nothing?
Click to expand...
Yeah, give 'em a time-out.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#8
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#8
tourist said:
Yeah, give 'em a time-out.
Click to expand...
Do you say to them go to their room or what. Can you be specific on what you do. It would be helpful.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#9
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#9
Lanolin said:
Do you say to them go to their room or what. Can you be specific on what you do. It would be helpful.
Click to expand...
They could either go to their room if one is available or sit in a corner. Of course, you would separate quarreling children. My understanding of the OP was if you should prohibit contact between the good kids and the bad kids.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#10
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#10
tourist said:
They could either go to their room if one is available or sit in a corner. Of course, you would separate quarreling children. My understanding of the OP was if you should prohibit contact between the good kids and the bad kids.
Click to expand...
Ok just wondering what to do in a school envronment thats all. I do tell fighting kids to leave each other alone and chill out. Sometimes requires physical separation. Bit hard when its like 30 kids in one room. But I might try it.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#11
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#11
Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#12
Feb 9, 2019
9,422
4,837
113
#12
Lanolin said:
Aw, how did they cope with the other children..? Or were there no other children was it just that child you adopted?
Click to expand...
"Just the one, but after we took him in, he became better adjusted with other children,
plus his own brother and sister. CPS was involved, but we got legal guardianship thru
court."
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#13
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#13
Bingo said:
"Just the one, but after we took him in, he became better adjusted with other children,
plus his own brother and sister. CPS was involved, but we got legal guardianship thru
court."
Click to expand...
Did he cope with school or was it just too overwhelming for him?
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#14
Feb 9, 2019
9,422
4,837
113
#14
Lanolin said:
Did he cope with school or was it just too overwhelming for him?
Click to expand...
"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."
108198622-silhouette-of-man-praying-at-dusk-gettyimages - Copy - Copy (3) - Copy.jpg
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#15
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#15
Dino246 said:
Perhaps it was not your intention, but your statements (in bold) put the blame solely on the fathers. I'd strongly encourage you to rethink that. It takes two to tango; mothers are often at fault for broken homes. I have more thoughts on the topic, but I don't see any point in shoring up an unbalanced view of the causes.
Click to expand...
Hey Dino, I happen to be one of those single fathers ( for 10 years )and could'nt be happier. You would'nt believe how many T.V. shows stereotype Fathers in this way. It irks me to no end...
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
42,654
17,111
113
69
Tennessee
#16
Lanolin said:
Im going to ask some teachers what strategies they use but some of them dont seem to have strategies. Im not their teacher just the librarian. They would be on best behaviour for the principal or deputy but not for me. Lol I see them at their worst.

Yesterday children were calling each other names and it was a big drama. This is in their free time lunchtime so any discipline seems to go out the window.
Click to expand...
The school is fortunate to have you as a librarian.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#17
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#17
Bingo said:
"It was a challenge, believe it. A long story involved here of the parents, my daughter. Of no
value to go into details. My personal experience spans many years of dealing with family issues.
Have been to support groups, doctors and lawyers. By the grace of God, after my life changed,
I learned God equipped me with the necessary means to not only help our personal family issues',
but also to help others with similar problems. Now more than ever, I firmly believe, without
a spiritual insight, families will struggle with issues that are tearing the core out of family values."
View attachment 206046
Click to expand...
Thank God for grandparents. Or godparents.
 
NeverAReality24

NeverAReality24

New member
#18
Jun 20, 2019
7
15
3
#18
Praying for all children living without anyone to guide them according to God’s will
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#19
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#19
1christian1 said:
Hey Dino, I happen to be one of those single fathers ( for 10 years )and could'nt be happier. You would'nt believe how many T.V. shows stereotype Fathers in this way. It irks me to no end...
Click to expand...
Sorry I dont mean to stereotype single parents. Its hard, even if widowed. Singles parents can be single for many reasons but no way does it NOT affect children in ways that are deeper than we might think, and sometimes damage doesnt show till years later.

I am blessed to have relatively intact extended family, and a stable upbringing although there is brokenness with some members on my dads side. But even so rejection and neglect affected ME spiritually. A 2 year old may not remember, but trauma does affect the body when family bonds are broken
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#20
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#20
Lanolin said:
Sorry I dont mean to stereotype single parents. Its hard, even if widowed. Singles parents can be single for many reasons but no way does it NOT affect children in ways that are deeper than we might think, and sometimes damage doesnt show till years later.

I am blessed to have relatively intact extended family, and a stable upbringing although there is brokenness with some members on my dads side. But even so rejection and neglect affected ME spiritually. A 2 year old may not remember, but trauma does affect the body when family bonds are broken
Click to expand...
You did it again! LOL... Assuming that single fathers are widowed... New series on T.V. " the Unicorn " about a widowed Father. And when you see a single mother it's because the father is a dead beat... It has'nt been easy to say the least but we make it work. I am trying to give her the functional life I never had. She is into theatre, sports and maintains an A average and is a very loving child. I thank God for her everyday...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.