I’m very sorry to hear about your struggles, friend. I’m praying for God’s mighty power at work in your life. May He sustain you with His loving hand of grace and guide you as you look to Him. Also, it might be helpful to connect with a counselor. I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Hang in there.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one