Is it sinful to have a death wish?

Im 60 years of age. I don't have a strong urge to live much longer. Im happy if the Lord takes me soon.
Is it sinful to have this thought? Should I have a strong urge to live and encourage others to have same?
I don't have any serious health issues, just a few aches and pains. people are in much worse situations than me but have a strong urge to live. Adding to my shame.
I know what you're going to say. pray your butt off!!
OK Ok I will I will ….

I feel there is unfinished business though. A sneaking suspicion that God wants me around either to support a few others or to grow more in my faith. Do you ever wonder what God wants from you? (besides total commitment )
But Im tired Lord. Take me home to Heaven asap. ...what a prayer!!

What you are describing isn't really a "death wish." A death wish implies that a person is actively doing dangerous/life threatening things knowing that those things could kill them.

Longing to be "home" with the Lord is something the majority of believers of a certain age realize. Even the Apostle Paul had this urge.

2 Corinthians, Chapter 5:

1 For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven:
3 If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.
4 For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
5 Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit.
6 Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:
7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight
8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.
9 Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.
10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

That being said, IF you are knowingly and willfully doing things to place your life in immanent danger, then, in my opinion, that IS a sin.

thanks.
ive got a barclay commentary on corinthians as well.

I certainly dont have a "pain and suffering" wish. And who would. Except maybe those awesome Christian martyrs from the past.
I worked briefly in a high care ward for the severely disabled. Most were bedridden and wheelchair bound. I try to imagine what must go through their minds daily. Yet some of them managed a smile on their face and an apparent strong will to live.
In that context I do feel shame.
Some of us have a strong life force in us no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. I dont put myself in that elite group.

But if we feel close enough to God in this life, we would be in no hurry to get to the next life.
Heaven should start now?

I do agree that our eternal spiritual life starts now, that we should be seeking the things of the heavenly realm first and foremost. I believe that by focusing on that which is lovely, true, right, and praiseworthy, in thought and action, our earthly experience is elevated as we experience more fruits of the spirit.

I think by not wanting and by keeping the Lord before us, we can experience many moments of this...

I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
Psalms 16:8‭-‬9 ESV

However, we are still in corruptible minds and bodies, and the fullness of Glory is not ours yet. I do agree though that we must seek to rejoice in the Lord always and much of that joy is found in the word and in walking out our faith. I think we get weary and to think we will always be joyful now is unrealistic, especially when we are either witnessing suffering or are enduring it ourselves. I take comfort in the sufficiency of His grace.

Maybe you should study it along with your Bible rather than focusing on wanting to die?

im postponing my exit for at least 10 years. im curious to see how the world changes in that time.

I feel like you do each morning when I get up for work. Once I've had my coffee and a cigarette I'm good to go for another day.

No serious health issues either, just a few aches and pains like you have.

I was just telling my wife this morning that I'm very much looking forward to getting my new body one day. Hopefully, that will be later rather than sooner because I still have a lot of living to do. Paul's thought on this was similar, that to be absent from the body it to be present with the Lord. Still, he realized that there was still much work left to do.

Reminds me of a few lines of a poem by Robert Frost.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
but I have promises to keep,
and miles to go before I sleep.

Yeah, I'm tired too. Par for the course I suppose. Tomorrow is another day while it's still called Today. Read that somewhere.

I totally got a death wish, honestly, I really just hate this disgusting world and this wretched society that I was born into. Oh Lord, if only you would have killed me in the womb and made my mother's belly my tomb! Oh that my eyes would not have ever had to behold this inglorious evil generation.

sure its not projected self-hatred?

I'm sure of it Though I mean of course I hate myself too. Can't follow Jesus unless you hate the world and even your ownself.

self acceptance i find elusive but maybe its the key to accepting others

if you are being serious you might need to clarify that concept of "hating yourself". Humility and self hatred are not the same.

Indeed I am being serious, and indeed you are absolutely correct, humility and self hatred are not the same. To clarify, I hate myself from the top of my head to the sole of my feet. I hate the very flesh itself that unfortunately was woven around my bones. Truly it probably would have been better for me to just have been dashed against the wall as a baby, then I would never have had to live to see the days of evil or walk around this wicked world with all the wicked people that do to me and themselves and eachoher great lovelessness without any remorse.

While I'm not an expert, I don't think it's about sin. It's more about struggling with mental health. It's important to reach out to professionals and loved ones for support.

As Paul desired it, I doubt it is a sinful desire.

Philippians 1:20 - 26
According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.
For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.
And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith;
That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again.

Ugh... This again...

Hey there, I understand that you're grappling with some heavy thoughts about your desire for the Lord to take you soon. While I can't provide religious guidance, I believe it's important to remember that each person's journey and perspective on life are unique. It's not inherently sinful to have these thoughts, as long as you're not causing harm to yourself or others.