I found your post a wee bit rambling - didn't really understand it all TBH.
I met a guy last year when I travelled away for work, who ended up hugging me VERY tightly & passionately to the point where I felt almost violated - I hardly knew this person. I was trying to be nice (as women are brought up to be 'nice' & not hurt anyone's feelings) & push him off of me. It was odd to say the least, but he was naturally affectionate as they did it in his family. He hugged & kissed everybody in a friendly way, & after a while when I & other women got to know him, it didn't seem out of the ordinary. We were all mates & helped each other out with different things. I myself made it clear we were just mates & I was not interested in any sort of relationship with him.
However he didn't understand social boundaries, & his hands went a bit too far for my liking one day; he was also drunk when he grabbed me for a hug. He also started bothering me, ie: knocking on my door at 7 am & at all hours. When I & some people complained to the manager about him, he isolated himself away from us - his constant drinking & dope smoking (i found out re this later) also made him paranoid too. This man had to be one of the most insecure people I have met - and that's saying alot as mental health is my job! He was asked to leave & lost his accommodation due to this & many other reasons.
So just be careful when hugging people, especially women. I know now to 'guard my heart' & if anyone goes to hug me now, I either put out my hand for them to shake, and or tell them I don't like being hugged, as we don't do that in our family. Hugging, especially people you hardly know, can be seen as an invasion of personal space. I stand up for myself, as many, MANY men I've met think it's their personal right to just hug every woman they come in contact with. Men don't like strong women telling them no it's NOT OK for you to just man handle me - and that is the way it should be. You need a woman's permission before you can touch her.
I don't know why you think hugging yourself for God is selfish (don't understand this bit TBH), but I do think you need to back off a wee bit. Talking to people & telling them about God is just as effective.
Man handling people & women especially, & hugging them all the time to me just comes across as creepy *shudders*.
You should be careful you don't get a bad reputation.
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