Finding safe common ground...

Finding safe common ground…


54 year old single Mama/Mimi, living for nobody to see anyone but Jesus.. well that is where my soul yearns to be. My flesh would beg to differ.


2 dogs, had three one recently passed. My oldest adult daughter and her two children are living with me while her hubby is deployed in SK. My youngest daughter and family live close by. I only have two kiddos. I may move soon to go help care for my elderly Mama and step father, my Papa. The Lord will guide my steps, I pray.


I have a story just like everyone. Ups, downs and all arounds, lol.


Born in Colorado, lived in several states.


Greatest strength is my Lord, but besides that my sensitivity, but that is also my greatest weakness.


Pet Peeves = arrogance and arrogant assumptions, ppl assuming the worst, so quickly.


Balance is my goal, imbalance seems to be my comfort zone, lol.


Favorite things besides my loves... nature, transparency, writing, reading, learning and laughter, oh and sleep...crazy about all those things, .


Three positive words that describe me… kind, warm, sincere


Three not so good...a bit much sometimes (irritating), unfocused, overthinking…


Would love to speak more languages, play the piano and guitar, but want nothing more than to know my Lord more and more.


Genuinely intrigued with ppl, find them so fascinating, especially when I see God in them.


I believe God is our Teacher but our peers, our brethren, are gifts that He gives us all to help each other along the way.

Love to learn and open for correction, given with dignity. I am thankful for the gift of growing and learning. I can, however, easily revert back to childish self centeredness.

My Lord deals with me patiently, but sometimes gives me the what for, for my own good and for those around me.


I am going on about me here,
though, in hopes you might be willing to share more about yourselves, taking the focus OFF of ME…!!

Wait there is more, lol....

I'm kinda a nerd and a misfit but not because I am so smart, lol..


I so respect reconciliation, accountability and humility...those are Godsends to me. My sweet spot is finding harmony in the scripture.


I hope to do missions trips someday, but also would love to do an Alaskan cruise, live in a cozy cabin, and bathe a baby elephant, just to name a few, lol. Dreaming again...lol.


Ok enough about me (could've been more succinct, lol, another common problem, lol, I have).


Care to share anything about yourselves?


Remember... nothing that leaves you feeling vulnerable. Just let us get to know you, we already now know LOTS about me.


No pressure on giving response or how much one chooses to share. I'd just like to find safe common ground.


If you make us laugh, we all win, lol.

Was it too much info? No place or direction to start? Calling all willing participants....

Maybe I wrote more of a rembling introduction, lol.

Hmmmm....lol.

Taps toes for a bit...


😳---->🤔----->😊, lol.

The man who, with the grace of God, captures your heart will have the catch of a lifetime.

I'm a bit of a misfit too. I like the word succinct. It's concise.

Aweeee thanks, how kind you are. You and your beautiful wife have been so blessed to find each other. I take comfort knowing if it is not to be for me, then the catch of eternity has captured my heart, our Lord and Saviour.

Hey fellow misfit, you are much better at being succinct than me. I am tempted to write a 5000 word essay of how and why, lol.

Once long ago, in a different forum, people were sharing their life stories.

I thought it was a bad idea, but they kept badgering me.

Finally I shared all my personal info, and wouldn't you know... one of the crazy forum girls started stalking me in real life!!!!!


But I was ok...
the stalker-girl was looking everywhere for a Norwegian Astronaut name Thorvald.


.

Hahaha you clever witty man.

okay, here goes. Born to narcissistic parents, mother very young to have a child. Treated poorly at primary school and high school , as I was deemed to be different. No friends from a young age, however had people who like being around me, male and female, and others who despised me. Spent most of my time alone. Travelled Australia with a much older woman, kept getting called back to the same city over and over however which is where I am now. Always been spiritual, went to the other side of the country and got involved in a mega church for awhile, which was transformational However they were based in law, so a very difficult environment to learn in. They even banned radios and tvs from there households. I love road trips, music, solitude,art galleries and museums, and exploring shopping malls! Don't drink and have never smoked or taken drugs. Never married, no kids. My dream vacation is a week exploring Pompeii and to visit Bermuda and Boston. I sew and was knitting for sometime, but my preference is sewing. Lately all my focus has been on Jesus and the truth. Have tried organised religions and all have fallen short I feel with there ideology and some were merely entertainment venues. Never was terribly interested in sport , never actively participated in it. Do enjoy a good car race or close soccer match however. I am rarely clothed , and only dress as a last resort. This is something I have been doing since a very early age. I have had so many different jobs over the years it would be a 200 page essay in itself. Everything from dry cleaner, short haul trucker, janitor, factory worker, farm worker, business owner three times, and my ex partner was a gypsy, as soon as she felt settled in a town or city, she wanted to move. So we live in an awful lot of places from 1984 to 1994. I could write so much more, but I would probably be here for ages. So enough of my meandering story. (for now!)

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog entry, not in English, which was called "30 things about me". She wrote 30 things about herself and invited her readers to join and write 30 things about themselves. So, she posted a link to me, asking me to participate if I'd like. I realized I had absolutely no idea what to write. My mind went blank.

As I started the journey with Jesus about 10 years ago, I learned progressively that a lot of the stuff I thought was my identity was actually not me at all. The intellectual, the rebel, the joker, the goth, the fear, the disappointment, the failure, the scapegoat, the peacemaker and shock absorber when others around me fight, and many other things, NONE of this was me, it was either what was drilled into me by constant repetitions, or my knee-jerk reactions to the world. I was a real amalgamated mess of confused identity.

When this was gone, or at least progressively got chipped off me for the most part, so much of my core "identity" got stripped, that this left me in a massive identity crisis, in which I'm still scrambling in, even though I am not consciously thinking about it anymore. I am slowly coming to terms that "self" is an illusion. The only thing that remains, in the end, is God.

So when someone asks me, or I ask myself, who am I, I don't really know who I am in the sense of having any "picture" or idea of myself. There's nothing to be seen as I feel completely wiped out, really. Well, enough semidepressed disillusioned rambling for today...

You are very unique person, for sure. You spend a great deal of time alone it seems but it is good because your time with Him has increased. You know between your sewing, road trips, watching a little sports, and time with God, you sound quite busy and fulfilled. I do hope you find a church that you can agree with.

I do not believe any church will be perfect though, because none of His ppl are perfect.

Gregory, thanks for sharing and being so open. It was a priviledge to learn more about you.

God Bless...

I chose the emoticon useful because where you are, I am encouraged to be.

The part that I gleaned to take away was in the end all that remains is God.

The part that left a sigh was this... wiped out or semi depressed but if you mean just looking completely outside of yourself, thus completely dying to self...that is good, right?

You know later in the eternal realm we will have individuality and Oneness, right...meaning we will each have names and differences? I guess no one knows these things, not for sure, except the divine One.

I think He made us different and unique in our own way, and at the same time similar to each other. Hmmm, now my mind is pondering sis, think I'll take it back to Leviticus.

Thanks for your input here. God Bless

when you're at the point of not knowing who you are, the exciting part begins, because now you start rebuilding from scratch, with God as your centrepiece. One day I will share the purple shirt guy story!

Why must you wait, lol? Must know the purple shirt guy story.

once upon a time, in a land far far away, a young man left home and moved into an apartment with his girlfriend. One day the woman bought home a purple vase for decoration. The young man went into a frenzy when he seen it, and removed it from sight. She brushed it off and thought no more of it. Sometime later a friend offered to sell him his purple Ford falcon xr6 car (quite desirable vehicle here in Australia) . despite the generous price his friend offered, the young man wouldn't buy it as it was purple. The girlfriend arrived home one evening expecting to see this car in the garage, it wasn't there. When he told her he couldn't buy it because it was purple, she lost her temper, told him he was some sick individual and you need psychiatric help. After much counselling and thinking etc, they found the problem, when this guy was 9 years old, he went to a friends home for the weekend as a stay over. The generous mother there bought him a purple shirt. He arrived home Sunday evening, the young mans father seen him with it on and went crazy. Tore the shirt of him, threw it in the trash, then rebuked his son. "DO NOT EVER BRING PURPLE INTO THIS HOUSE AGAIN!" His mother did nothing to support her son. Moral of the story , outside events and people influence your outlook on life. It takes years of healing and prayer to find the truth within you. Your true self is wrapped up in the lies and illusion of mankind.

Whoa!!!! Thank you very much for the story and the moral of it. Very... Very profound.

Thanks be to Him our true selves are now wrapped up in Him, if we know He is what is good for us, no matter what.

I think you're a fascinating person, CharliRenee! You're one of these people that can just get all in anyone's case - and I mean this in a good way - but it's guided by good intention which is heartfelt (and takes the edge off abuse!). You're also a bit of a conundrum. Your goal post shifts, which makes you easy to like, but not so easy to know. I may be wrong, but I think relationships are the thing that takes you out of a comfort zone. You mistake that for imbalance, I believe.

A misfit? I don't think so, but I think you use that as a kind of cover. Which is OK! It excuses a lot of perceived self centeredness. But it also leaves a person empty and isolated. That would be a shame in your case.

Over thinker? Yeppers. I share that

You wear your heart on your sleeve, CR. You'd make a good poet. You see the light side of love, but also the dark. I think you have experience in both. That brews a rare exlixer for the sympathethic heart.

Maybe the father thought it was a gay symbol. Some people get some weird ideas.

My grandmother was watching Judge Judy and a woman was in court demanding a divorce on the grounds that her husband was gay.

"How do you know he's gay?"

"Well just LOOK at him! He's wearing a purple shirt!"

Naturally Judge Judy had a field day with that one.

Sis, you're beautifully humble as always, but the thing is that He finds always something new to chip off, and the reason I experienced total demolition of personality is that I was so fundamentally broken when I came to Jesus that repairing me took a lot of destruction first... there was little to build on... hating people who wronged me in the past, cherishing offenses, thinking I'm the smartest, vain, people pleaser, keeping records of wrongs etc etc... you get the gist!

The process, although I fully understood it was undoing something unhealthy, did leave me confused and confounded. You think, ok I've been this for 20 years... if it was not me... well who/what am I now? Reading Scriptures about who we are in Jesus did not help me regain a sense of personality. I sat on this after that post, then it hit me, maybe the problem is that we are groomed by nowadays "mirror, mirror, on the wall" society to be constantly self conscious, also constantly comparing ourselves to others, worse than in any other age before. So I'm glad I opened up it was therapeutic for me because I didn't talk about this.

Um...

can I just say...

I gulped, with my eyebrows lifted and smiled a wee bit bashfully, all the way through that, because I felt very, very seen. How do you do that? You pretty much nailed it on all of it. And yes even to the uncomfy vulnerable relationship thing. Maybe that is true for everyone, all of us...I don't know.

It is impressive 17bees. I do wish I could know you a little bit more, though, wish you'd share, but respecting space and boundaries, dangit, lol, is a part of that relationship thing, huh?

This made me laugh...
but it's guided by good intention which is heartfelt (and takes the edge off abuse!) < perhaps cuz it's true.

I think this may be the first time we have ohhhh interacted. It is a pleasure to meet you. And cool knowing you are an over thinker too.

I am still kinda in shock how you did that.

It is you who is humble. I am so thankful you chose to share as well.

Cherishing offenses, ppl pleasing, vain, isn't that something. I mean licking the wounds to the point of inflammation, creating even more toxicity. The mirror mirror on the wall. Sis all of it. I get it, and understand completely.

I suppose finding our identity in Him requires that demolition as you said.

The lyrics to the God who sees comes to mind...

Glory Glory Glory Hallelujah I will be the glory in your midst and
every knee will bow to me and every tongue confess,
yes, all the world will worship me in all my Holiness.
I will be a ring a fire around and I will be the glory in your midst,
and the power of my presence will bring you to your knees
and I will lift you up again for I'm the God who sees.

We must lose our lives, SELFishness, guilt, shame, fear, bitterness, SELF-pity, insecurity, vanity and pride, all of it, to gain what matters...Him.

Sniff sniff sis, you are so precious in His arms. Your humility and accountability are a breath of fresh air. I am honored that you and I are family in Him.

SW...you are a blessing to my faith. Thank you.