How do you deal with people you dislike

I’m gonna make a real talk post: bit of self examination. And when I ask this, I am asking what you do now. Not what SHOULD you do, but what do you actually do....

How do you deal with people you dislike? People you hate even?

Are you cold to them? Do you try to talk them out of their behaviors? Do you harass them? Are you passive aggressive to them? Do you try your best to reach out to them? Or do you just have indifference?

Again I guess by asking this I’m hoping we all take time to look inward and think about what Christ wants us to do to our enemies, and what we actually do...

I think I have a tendency to sadly go the cold/avoidant route. I don’t talk to them if I can help it, and if I do have to interact I make my conversations as brief as possible. Ironically I end up arguing more with people I care about. Someone who I knew wouldn’t be worth trying to work it out I’d just throw up my hands.

Why is it "sadly" that you avoid people you dislike? Would you intentionally sit on a nail? Ignoring and avoiding is good sense and good for blood pressure.

My life practice with people who do not "like" me is to pray for them. If the person is outright hostile or dangerous, I keep as far away as possible, but aside from this I do not know of anyone I have hated, just what people do........sometimes a person I like will do something I do not approve of. I pray...it is not my place to chide others except, perhaps, in here............yet I pray for them. All love in Yeshua..

Right now I know a guy that is very difficult to deal with. He is a bit obnoxious, and acts as if he is the everyone's leader.
I confront him when he is wrong, if needs be.
I keep a guarded friendship with him. I talk Bible with him. We talk some casual stuff some times, but mostly I leave him alone.

Only talking Bible will keep difficult people away, kind of a hedge He puts around us as we keep our minds "stayed on Him".

I don't dislike people, rather bad behavior. If their behavior is causing me to sin I usually try to stay away from them. There's a potential in everyone to become a cool person in Jesus.

I pray for them, but before i pray that prayer i forgive them (not always face to face because most of the time they don't even know whats going on). Then later i pray and bring it up and affirm in that prayer that i indeed forgave, i also confess if i sinned or did anything weird so all things in me are forgiven. Then i add onto the prayer two decrees, one that i am within Christ, in the house of God and in righteousness while the person in question i have prayed for is not because they are causing chaos and discord. The second decree is that this person i have prayed for is judged by God and that this person causing discord is divided from me and pushed along to wherever it is they need to go that is most suitable for their mindset. ( and when i pray like this i visualize the whole thing)

After that i just remove myself emotionally, detach from it, leave it, don't wait for something to happen, and go do something else, the seed has been planted. I then pour all of my attention/focus on something else so there is no time to give real attention to the person. 99 percent of the time they leave or just something ends up happening. What i always find funny is how they will leave and they think it's their idea. God is powerful like that, and He will cause events and or just have a person think that they are in control of wherever it is they "think" they are going.

As for me personally i don't hate or dislike people but i do dislike and hate what they bring. I had to learn to divide people from their actions or whatever it is they are carrying. i try to have as little interaction as possible to the situation after prayer is done, pretty much washing my hands of it. Doing passive aggressive stuff or getting into internal or external arguments battles with them only prolongs things. Doing extra things isn't necessary, actually the more of me by my own hand i put into it negatively the longer it takes, and in most cases it will negate the prayer.

As for just normal people who do things that are annoying but not really doing anything to hurt me, or getting in the way i just forgive and go back to focusing on something more relevant. The more i focus on annoying people i dislike the more power i give to them attention-wise. I have found that giving attention to things i don't like gives life to them. Focusing on something more relevant pushes the annoyances back, and when i am so focused on the relevant thing the annoyance is denied life and has no power.

When all else fails ...

Not everything is so easily reducible.

I think we're taking a very broad and complex set of ailments (all things that can be problems in all human relationships) and trying to resolve all of these ailments with one magic bullet.

I don't think we can do this.

Proverbs tells us to learn prudence.
There are different ways to handle different situations.

Not every human can, or should, be handled in the same way.
Even if our goal is to be as loving as possible, all humans cannot be dealt with in the same way.
The OTHER PERSON, biblically, will determine the kinds of options available to us.

Examples:
- We may need to lovingly dialogue with someone if it's possible to resolve misunderstandings.
- We may need to lovingly correct a person if the situation calls for that, and they're the kind of person who listens.
- We may need to lovingly just AVOID a person if they're so hostile we can't talk to them without fighting.
- You may need to lovingly AVOID a person if they're very manipulative, and cannot be trusted to talk or act honestly.

* I may be able to pick up a bunny and pet it, because it's a bunny; but I cannot pick up a crocodile and pet it... because it's not a bunny. I don't determine the state of all things outside of me, but I do need to respond to them intelligently.



We can act in love... but there are different ways to deal with different people, and draw boundaries, while still acting in a loving way.

If we are not being loving we should ALWAYS strive to be more loving... but even so, different situations require different responses.

.

I think it depends..we need to be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

Crocodiles and bunnies?

I have found sometimes it can be a waste of energy trying to get through to some people. But then There is something to persistance and one cant go on avoiding things forever cos its seems too hard. Thing is we can just keep praying which actually does work. Even if it takes time.

Dealing with difficult people is actually part and parcel of many jobs.

I like most ppl, for the most part. When I don't, I try and deal with them the way I deal with myself when I do not like myself. I get on my own nerves plenty.

I try and extend mercy, which is not easy. I need His mercy desperately so when I reflect on His mercy, it helps.

We all need Jesus and His mercy.

When there is someone I dislike, I don't foster friendship..

It's just that simple. You don't normally have to announce you dislike someone, you just don't do anything that would encourage friendship..

I’ve never came across anyone I hate.

Some people I just don’t gel with. There have difference priorities or different
personality to me and I find them hard
to understand. But that’s ok I’m sure there are people who find me hard to understand too.

Nicely said.
best wishes

I avoid them, otherwise they may suck the life out of you.

Does anyone else have a problem with like facial expressions? Like if I don’t like something/someone I can’t hide it. I try to not be rude or cruel but like my face always betrays what I feel.

Desiderata

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be
in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own
career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons
strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress
yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of
the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever
your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann

depends how demanding they are....these days i stand up to them if they are bullies.
if they just have annoying traits i try to exercise patience muscles.

ignore

I don’t know I’ve never disliked or hated anyone I may have had disagreements