I'm so sorry to read of your troubles...I've experienced that myself. More than once.
Like someone just mentioned, you could look around for different churches to attend that are more truthful in their work.
I chose to worship at home until I get moved...lots of material online. You will also find that other types of Bibles are worded differently, what one does not help with, another will. There are Bibles online.
Some places will give Bibles away, a good way to have different versions.
I worship on my own, I find solace and peace there. But occasionally I need to attend with like minded souls.
Just remember that even by yourself, you are never alone. The Lord is always there. Getting closer to him privately can be a great experience in itself. Don't push, just let him come to you.
May you be blessed in your journey...God Bless You.