Social difficulties

I've felt like I've been starting from scratch socially, with everyone else knowing more of what they're doing. It's left me feeling so inadequate, but knowing God doesn't make mistakes, I know I'm starting out this way for a reason. With God I finally felt like I didn't have to bother anyone, but now I'm realizing I need to talk to others, but I feel so ignorant and I feel like I've been living under a rock. I have been a big liar with my feelings and I haven't been very honest and a lot of friendships have been surface, with me only being able to ask how are you and answer the same question in a boring way. Alone despite how bad I may feel, I can listen to God better, so as painful as things get, I know he'll always carry me when I can't stand on my own. Suicidal thoughts are pushed away by Gods love because of the truth he brings me, i feel pain, but I also feel God's embrace. I feel dead in the water without being able to socialize now, and what I know I've needed to has been the scariest thing for me when it comes to speaking up and asking for help. Before in the past, I didn't even know what to say, so when I was sad all I could really do is ask for hugs and I feel ashamed of myself because of that. As good as help is, I also want friends who like talking to me and don't just see me as someone always sad and negative, so I don't want to just ask for help. I want to talk to people and know more about them but as for now, the social part of my brain has felt dead and I'm alone praying. Maybe all I need is to just stay out of the shade and be more personal by being more honest? I'm nervous because it feels like a long adventure ahead of new things that are going to make my heart burn with anxiety, but make me alive. (sorry if things look convoluted in my writing)

Wow, such strength and insight you show here. I think balance is good, time alone nurturing the One on one time with God, but also finding time to connect with His people can and is nourishing too, for them and us.

I think keeping it real and seeking to be a friend, rather than have a friend, often finds us getting both. You made mention of that, so I know you already get it.

Hugs coming from a sincere and healthy heart is a huge blessing and you deserve them. No need to be ashamed. You are a beautiful child of God. And when ppl are not available, I enjoy reading that you feel His embrace.

Be patient with others and yourself.

Sincerely, your words were touching to read. I will lift you in prayer.

I've noticed some people are so busy presuming to know what another is thinking/feeling that they don't get out of their own heads long enough to engage in a real conversation.
I would suggest quit trying to make a conversation these pre-determined concept of how you think it should go, get out of your head and just chat work people.
And quit fabricating what you assume others are thinking about you and just get to know them and find out the truth.
Some will like you, some won't. That's normal.

Well that is good advice for us all.

Learning to get out of our heads is not always easy though. Sometimes it takes prayer and faith, just to step into those chats. I agree with you, but sometimes we all can get in our own way from time to time.

It
Its true it can happen to all of us, but for some it is a more consistent problem and that, as the focus of the thread, is where I was purposefully speaking to. And leaving out the broader notion of the concept and instead favoring it to be tailored for the OP.

Michael seek out counselors in your area.

I feel the same man, your not alone. But Im a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. A lot of times I hate how I am because I sort of choose to be anti social, but its also because I tend to get social anxiety, so I avoid it almost as much as I can. But I can say that its not healthy to do so. And the same as you, theres a lot of things that I haven’t done that leave me feeling like Im starting from scratch socially as well. But Gods blessed me with someone whose willing to help me catch up. I just had my first kiss at 18 about a month ago lol. Imagine all the other things I havent done, not just romantically, but life in general. I look at everything before these 18 years as the best time for God to mold me and discipline me into who He wants me to be in this world. Even though it was painful. And now I see it as God letting me know its my time to blossom now and bear fruit. Just keep trusting God and everything will fall into place.