Hi I have a problem

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Marizeon

New member
Jul 6, 2019
2
1
3
#1
Hi, so I'm a man 32 years old living in North carolina in USA. I am currently living with my girlfriend and her two children. We recently moved in together and are creating a happy home together. We plan to get married when we have the money and if given the chance I will adopt her children as my own. We've not been dating that long but we took the leap to start living together because it worked better because I work 12 hour shifts at night and she works 9 to 5 daily and some at night as well. We both work alot but we like to spend some if not all of my days off together since she has an easier schedule than mine. I love her and her children as well. We have plans to make more children when we have more money and room. Things are special to me about this relationship because this is a relationship promised to me by God. Truthfully my life has been a little rough, I'm sure there are people who have had a rougher life but mine for me has been hard and painful. I have been faithful to my lord the entire time and have sought his council whenever I felt unsure or too sure as to what to do. I have always tried to do the right thing whenever possible and converse with my lord daily. He sometimes gives me tasks to do and I do my best to do them without hesitation. Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of I push to create new ground regardless of my feelings to start a better relationship because it is my lord's will.

I told you that to tell you this, I love my girlfriend very much but she worries me sometimes. We have only been together a month or two and probably the only reason I moved in with her is because the lord told me to. I do love her and her children very much but honestly if it had been just me and her that decided to move in together I would not have done it because we haven't known each other very long. If that had been the case I doubt our relationship would have gone much farther as we wouldn't have had much time to spend together; also I may have gotten a different job and moved causing us to break-up out of circumstance. So this is a relationship partly of the lord's making. I have no real problems with her or her kids. In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago. My problem is that she actually lied to me, she told me that a friend she spent alot of time with was gay. He's bisexual. The truth is they used to date and she still hangs out with him now and then. She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him. We had a big fight before she got to explain because the thought of someone I love lying to me destroyed me. I also suspected this due to clues that had been showing up via her and her children. Now she explained that she doesn't want to be with him anymore because he doesn't really care that much about her and would love his child more than hers. I have no children and have shown I would love her children and our children the same regardless of which they were. Now under normal circumstances I would have tried to get out of this apartment simply because she lied to me. I don't feel that she has or is being unfaithful I just don't like lies and not knowing something. However this is the lord's gift to me and bad things happen to those who spurn the lord's gifts. I spoke with the lord in my heart and he said two simple words "have faith", while saying little he once again speaks volumes. He tells me to have faith in him my girlfriend and myself as a man. While it is difficult to live having only my faith and a spouse who may or may not be lying to me. The hardest part about it is I have a job with much downtime but also a 12 hr schedule. Sometimes I may even be spending that time entirely alone. Those are the times fear and doubt creep up on me and I get ideas and things to say and do that may provide insight but will also hurt the relationship. But sometimes my faith is manually restored. Today I prayed over my fortune cookie from dinner and asked for guidance. Once again the paper said "faith" though I am still bothered that I don't know what to do I can live knowing that my ultimate reward is not done yet. Once again I am reaffirmed that I am speaking with the lord and he still has a plan for me. Well I was going to ask what I should do but I feel successfully purged now soo...I have my mind right, since my question was answered. What would you do in my situation?
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#2
The Lord did not tell you to move in with her. It is sin. God does not lead you to sin.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#3
Hi, so I'm a man 32 years old living in North carolina in USA. I am currently living with my girlfriend and her two children. We recently moved in together and are creating a happy home together. We plan to get married when we have the money and if given the chance I will adopt her children as my own. We've not been dating that long but we took the leap to start living together because it worked better because I work 12 hour shifts at night and she works 9 to 5 daily and some at night as well. We both work alot but we like to spend some if not all of my days off together since she has an easier schedule than mine. I love her and her children as well. We have plans to make more children when we have more money and room. Things are special to me about this relationship because this is a relationship promised to me by God. Truthfully my life has been a little rough, I'm sure there are people who have had a rougher life but mine for me has been hard and painful. I have been faithful to my lord the entire time and have sought his council whenever I felt unsure or too sure as to what to do. I have always tried to do the right thing whenever possible and converse with my lord daily. He sometimes gives me tasks to do and I do my best to do them without hesitation. Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of I push to create new ground regardless of my feelings to start a better relationship because it is my lord's will.

I told you that to tell you this, I love my girlfriend very much but she worries me sometimes. We have only been together a month or two and probably the only reason I moved in with her is because the lord told me to. I do love her and her children very much but honestly if it had been just me and her that decided to move in together I would not have done it because we haven't known each other very long. If that had been the case I doubt our relationship would have gone much farther as we wouldn't have had much time to spend together; also I may have gotten a different job and moved causing us to break-up out of circumstance. So this is a relationship partly of the lord's making. I have no real problems with her or her kids. In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago. My problem is that she actually lied to me, she told me that a friend she spent alot of time with was gay. He's bisexual. The truth is they used to date and she still hangs out with him now and then. She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him. We had a big fight before she got to explain because the thought of someone I love lying to me destroyed me. I also suspected this due to clues that had been showing up via her and her children. Now she explained that she doesn't want to be with him anymore because he doesn't really care that much about her and would love his child more than hers. I have no children and have shown I would love her children and our children the same regardless of which they were. Now under normal circumstances I would have tried to get out of this apartment simply because she lied to me. I don't feel that she has or is being unfaithful I just don't like lies and not knowing something. However this is the lord's gift to me and bad things happen to those who spurn the lord's gifts. I spoke with the lord in my heart and he said two simple words "have faith", while saying little he once again speaks volumes. He tells me to have faith in him my girlfriend and myself as a man. While it is difficult to live having only my faith and a spouse who may or may not be lying to me. The hardest part about it is I have a job with much downtime but also a 12 hr schedule. Sometimes I may even be spending that time entirely alone. Those are the times fear and doubt creep up on me and I get ideas and things to say and do that may provide insight but will also hurt the relationship. But sometimes my faith is manually restored. Today I prayed over my fortune cookie from dinner and asked for guidance. Once again the paper said "faith" though I am still bothered that I don't know what to do I can live knowing that my ultimate reward is not done yet. Once again I am reaffirmed that I am speaking with the lord and he still has a plan for me. Well I was going to ask what I should do but I feel successfully purged now soo...I have my mind right, since my question was answered. What would you do in my situation?
You are horribly deluded. God would NEVER tell a person to move in with their girlfriend and live in sin while having premarital sex. NEVER..

Secondly, this relationship is
NOT of God's making, If it were, you wouldn't be living together while unmarried. "Bad things happen to those who spurn God's gifts"? Not really, we're free to accept or reject God's gifts. The Lord may have told you to have faith, but NOTHING good will happen to you while you're living in sin with your girl friend.


You prayed over a
FORTUNE COOKIE?!! Are you even serious? And the cookie told you to have faith? I'm sorry, but your mind is NOT right on any of this. Just NOOO..

And if you respect the Lord, why do you not capitalize His name?
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,669
113
#4
The Lord did not tell you to move in with her. It is sin. God does not lead you to sin.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

And God wouldn't want you praying over a fortune cookie either.. lol
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,196
4,751
113
#6
"Thread heading speaks volumes!"

49-497487_unknown-clipart-man-silhouette-female-silhouette-question-mark - Copy (2).jpg enact - Copy - Copy (12) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy...jpg Neutral.png
 
7

7seasrekeyed

Guest
#7
you are not a Christian because you were 'raised in a Christian household' (your bio)

if I was adopted as a child (which I wasn't) by a lovely Chinese couple, that would not make me Chinese

sometimes people fool us and sometimes we fool ourselves.


Today I prayed over my fortune cookie from dinner and asked for guidance. Once again the paper said "faith" though I am still bothered that I don't know what to do I can live knowing that my ultimate reward is not done yet. Once again I am reaffirmed that I am speaking with the lord and he still has a plan for me. Well I was going to ask what I should do but I feel successfully purged now soo...I have my mind right, since my question was answered. What would you do in my situation
I am trying not to ask you if you are a troll here

1. it appears that you are not a Christian

2. you are not being led by God

Become A Christian
Become a Christian Today!
How do I become a Christian? Once you have asked all your questions, weighed all the evidence, and tested all the arguments, you will ultimately be confronted with the basic question Jesus asked his own disciples in Matthew 16:15

‘But who do you say that I am?’

Simon Peter replied:

‘You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.’

What is your reply?

If you have come to the same conclusion as Simon Peter, you are a few steps away from having a personal relationship with our loving God. It is our sincere hope and prayer that each of you reach this conclusion, for we know that true happiness, joy and peace only come when we recognize our purpose for existing and yield our wills to our Creator. As you will see, Christianity is not based on a religious building, formula or ritual, it’s a matter of what you truly believe in your heart.

Become a Christian: Step through the Gospel
First, you can be sure that God loves you unconditionally and desires to have a personal relationship with you.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Second, you need to admit your sinful nature to God, because this is what separates all of us from Him.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

Third, you should stop trying to please God through your own efforts, and realize that salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ is a gift that none of us deserves.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Finally, you just need to step in and truly accept God’s gift -- His Son, Jesus Christ.

“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name” (John 1:12).

So, now you know the basic steps to become a Christian. As a result, if you desire God’s gift of eternal life and fellowship with Him, you are as close as a sincere act of faith.

Jesus says,

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

Jesus also says,

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).

Receiving Jesus is a matter of truly asking Him to come into your life, to forgive your sins, and to become your Lord and Savior. It’s not merely an intellectual undertaking, but rather, an act of sincere faith and heart-felt will.

If you want to receive Jesus now, and accept His gift of salvation, it's a matter of believing in Jesus Christ, repenting of your sins, and turning the rest of your life over to Him. This is not a ritual based on specific words, but rather, a prayerful guideline for your sincere step of faith.


  • “Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.”


"Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost" (Acts 2:38).

If you decided to become a Christian today, welcome to God's family. Now, as a way to grow closer to Him, the Bible tells us to follow up on our commitment.
  • Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
  • Tell someone else about your new faith in Christ.
  • Spend time with God each day. It does not have to be a long period of time. Just develop the daily habit of praying to Him and reading His Word. Ask God to increase your faith and your understanding of the Bible.
  • Seek fellowship with other Christians. Develop a group of Christian friends to answer your questions and support you.
  • Find a local church where you can worship God.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,412
13,760
113
#8
Hi, so I'm a man 32 years old living in North carolina in USA. I am currently living with my girlfriend and her two children. We recently moved in together and are creating a happy home together. We plan to get married when we have the money and if given the chance I will adopt her children as my own. We've not been dating that long but we took the leap to start living together because it worked better because I work 12 hour shifts at night and she works 9 to 5 daily and some at night as well. We both work alot but we like to spend some if not all of my days off together since she has an easier schedule than mine. I love her and her children as well. We have plans to make more children when we have more money and room. Things are special to me about this relationship because this is a relationship promised to me by God. Truthfully my life has been a little rough, I'm sure there are people who have had a rougher life but mine for me has been hard and painful. I have been faithful to my lord the entire time and have sought his council whenever I felt unsure or too sure as to what to do. I have always tried to do the right thing whenever possible and converse with my lord daily. He sometimes gives me tasks to do and I do my best to do them without hesitation. Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of I push to create new ground regardless of my feelings to start a better relationship because it is my lord's will.

I told you that to tell you this, I love my girlfriend very much but she worries me sometimes. We have only been together a month or two and probably the only reason I moved in with her is because the lord told me to. I do love her and her children very much but honestly if it had been just me and her that decided to move in together I would not have done it because we haven't known each other very long. If that had been the case I doubt our relationship would have gone much farther as we wouldn't have had much time to spend together; also I may have gotten a different job and moved causing us to break-up out of circumstance. So this is a relationship partly of the lord's making. I have no real problems with her or her kids. In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago. My problem is that she actually lied to me, she told me that a friend she spent alot of time with was gay. He's bisexual. The truth is they used to date and she still hangs out with him now and then. She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him. We had a big fight before she got to explain because the thought of someone I love lying to me destroyed me. I also suspected this due to clues that had been showing up via her and her children. Now she explained that she doesn't want to be with him anymore because he doesn't really care that much about her and would love his child more than hers. I have no children and have shown I would love her children and our children the same regardless of which they were. Now under normal circumstances I would have tried to get out of this apartment simply because she lied to me. I don't feel that she has or is being unfaithful I just don't like lies and not knowing something. However this is the lord's gift to me and bad things happen to those who spurn the lord's gifts. I spoke with the lord in my heart and he said two simple words "have faith", while saying little he once again speaks volumes. He tells me to have faith in him my girlfriend and myself as a man. While it is difficult to live having only my faith and a spouse who may or may not be lying to me. The hardest part about it is I have a job with much downtime but also a 12 hr schedule. Sometimes I may even be spending that time entirely alone. Those are the times fear and doubt creep up on me and I get ideas and things to say and do that may provide insight but will also hurt the relationship. But sometimes my faith is manually restored. Today I prayed over my fortune cookie from dinner and asked for guidance. Once again the paper said "faith" though I am still bothered that I don't know what to do I can live knowing that my ultimate reward is not done yet. Once again I am reaffirmed that I am speaking with the lord and he still has a plan for me. Well I was going to ask what I should do but I feel successfully purged now soo...I have my mind right, since my question was answered. What would you do in my situation?
Welcome to CC, Marizeon...
Others have addressed your need for Jesus and the fact that God wouldn't lead you to do things contrary to His truth. I'll address a few aspects of your story. None of what I tell you is meant to hurt, demean, or belittle you, but hopefully will shake you enough that you consider it carefully.

You are acting like a fool and thinking with the wrong body parts. Moving in with a woman you hardly know is just dumb. Your reasons for it are entirely unconvincing, and as you are so new to the relationship, you're likely in a fog of lust and infatuation, not love. Love is patient and kind, and wants the best for the other person. Please move out of her house and stop having sex with her. You both need Jesus far more than you need each other. If and only if you both surrender your lives to Jesus and demonstrate patience in your relationship will it have any hope of becoming something other than a complete train wreck... for all of you.

I don't expect that you will stick around here, having read my response and others. Still, I hope you do stay. You have much to learn, and there are good, wise, and seasoned people here who will pray for you and offer sound advice. However, we won't facilitate stupidity. God loves you and has a better plan for your life than the one you currently have.
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#9
Hello. You came here looking and asking for advice......
What would you do in my situation?
Well, many things that came to mind as I read your post have already been addressed.

NOW......
to add on here.
If you were raised in a "christian home" then I am sure you have heard the term "equally yoked" (or unequally yoked). But if you are not familiar with it, let me try to explain. You can not pair up a bull with a donkey and expect good results. If you are truly wanting to follow Christ then you have NO BUISNESS with a woman who isnt. And based on what you have shared, she wants to remain friends with a male who bisexual..... dated him in the past?????!!! Honey, red flags are going up EVERYWHERE just based on that. She is not seeking the Lord in this matter. And the Lord
is NOT telling you to be in a relationship with this woman.
It's time to break all ties with her. Move out.

Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of
If there is still hurt left in your heart that you will never get rid of....... then you have not truly forgiven your father.
What would you do in my situation?
I would:
1) Get out of this relationship NOW
2) Start spending more time in God's word (the Bible). That is where the answers you are looking for will be found (not on a piece of random paper shoved into a crisp waffer).
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#10
We have only been together a month or two and probably the only reason I moved in with her is because the lord told me to
1Cor 7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago
1Cor 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality.

However this is the lord's gift to me and bad things happen to those who spurn the lord's gifts
Mat 7:9-11 Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

He tells me to have faith in him my girlfriend and myself as a man
Today I prayed over my fortune cookie from dinner and asked for guidance.
Once again I am reaffirmed that I am speaking with the lord
Well I was going to ask what I should do but I feel successfully purged now soo...I have my mind right, since my question was answered.
2 Thess 2:10-12 because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved.

11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:

12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

. So this is a relationship partly of the lord's making.
James 1:13 When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;

What would you do in my situation?
Acts 2:38 Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,581
17,050
113
69
Tennessee
#11
What would you do in my situation?
For starters, there is no way that God gave you the go-ahead to shack up with a woman that you don't even know. If I were in your situation I would pray to God that a child was not created out of the illicit sex, tell Him I'm sorry that I messed up and then I would bail out. One other thing, don't blame God if there happen to be unintended consequences for your actions. Welcome to CC.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,581
17,050
113
69
Tennessee
#12
I don't expect that you will stick around here, having read my response and others. Still, I hope you do stay. You have much to learn, and there are good, wise, and seasoned people here who will pray for you and offer sound advice. However, we won't facilitate stupidity. God loves you and has a better plan for your life than the one you currently have.
I think that's called enabling. Your post was right on target. I hope that he stays too.
 
L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#13
The main way the Lord talks to us is through His Word. Read the Bible everyday and pray as much as you can. The Lord would never ask you to do or accept something that goes against His Word. So I know that He did not tell you to go live with your girlfriend. That's wrong.
I think that maybe you are hearing what your itching ears want to hear. It happens to all of us. The most basic way for you to know if God wants you to do something or not is by asking yourself this... "will I glorify God by committing this act? Will I glorify Him by saying these words? Will I glorify Him by...etc?" Do you think that you are glorifying God by living and engaging in premarital sex with your girlfriend?
Jesus came into this world to sacrifice His life for our own. We glorify God by killing our own flesh. He delights in us when we sacrifice for His sake. So if you think about it...you are not sacrificing or killing your flesh in this case. You're actually feeding your flesh by fornicating.
I think you need to first confess your sin and ask the Holy Spirit to help you not do it again. Talk to your girlfriend and arrange a way to where you are not living together anymore. If you want to continue a relationship with her, that's fine. But take it slowly and pray pray and pray some more! Find a good Church and ask the Pastor and Elders to help you with these decisions. Raising a family is hard and it's even harder when the children are not biologically yours. They will rebel against you.

About the woman: it seems to me that she has a lot of issues too. She shouldn't be sleeping with you or anyone else before marriage. I think she needs to do everything I suggested you to do. You need to be wise about this decision. Marriage is a huge decision and it's very important. Ask yourself, would you be okay if your daughter was like the woman you are with now? Would you want your daughter living with a man before marriage who isn't even the father of her kids? And then she hangs out with an ex on the side? This is important to think about because if you do have a daughter with this woman, she will more than likely be like her mother. So, pray and have a serious talk with your girlfriend. Ask her to change as you go on your journey to make things right with God. There could be a happy ending for you two but it's going to take some changes to get there.

God bless you, brother! I hope you can open up your eyes and see the red flags others have talked about on here.
 
P

Papou

Guest
#14
...

We have plans to make more children when we have more money and room. Cool!

Truthfully my life has been a little rough ... hard and painful. Family prob I guess !

Recently he had me forgive my father and apologize for the angry words I spoke to him. Don't worry everything is forgiven !
Despite the fact that there is still hurt that my dad left in my heart that I will never get rid of ... Times will heal your hurt ! Be patient !

I love my girlfriend very much but she worries me sometimes. ...if it had been just me and her that decided to move in together I would not have done it because we haven't known each other very long. Big mistake but what is done is done !

In fact we did actually make love just a couple days ago. Sex is nothing, love is everything !

My problem is that she actually lied to me, she told me that a friend she spent alot of time with was gay. He's bisexual. The truth is they used to date and she still hangs out with him now and then. She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him. We had a big fight before she got to explain because the thought of someone I love lying to me destroyed me. I also suspected this due to clues that had been showing up via her and her children. Now she explained that she doesn't want to be with him anymore because he doesn't really care that much about her and would love his child more than hers. This does not look good but time alone will show you the truth personality of your girlfriend ! Don't be jealous and try to segregate her ! This is not the way to go. Be calm and communicate your feelings to her with love and peace. Don't panic for your relationship, if it works it works otherwise there are others women waiting for you who want to love you and to be loved .

Now under normal circumstances I would have tried to get out of this apartment simply because she lied to me. Trust is one of the pillars of true love ! Happy the man who can trust his spouse !

I spoke with the lord in my heart and he said two simple words "have faith", while saying little he once again speaks volumes. The Lord is almighty and can be trusted in all his actions!

The hardest part about it is I have a job with much downtime but also a 12 hr schedule. Sometimes I may even be spending that time entirely alone. Those are the times fear and doubt creep up on me and I get ideas and things to say and do that may provide insight but will also hurt the relationship. Given your situation, it a normal reaction to be creeped up by fears and doubts during these times. Don't worry you behave as a human being.

.I have my mind right, since my question was answered. Good for you !

What would you do in my situation?
In brief, your conscience tell you that should have waited longer before moving in with her. You don't trust her anymore because many evidences pop ups over the time that point to a potential love affair. If I was you I would stay calm and wait a little bit to see how the situation evolve and then decide what is best for myself... I would definitively not stay in any relationship where I can't trust the one that should be trusted more than myself.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#15
She worries me sometimes
I have no real problems with her or her kids.
She told me this cuz she said I get jealous and that I would forbid her from going to see him.

Now under normal circumstances I would have tried to get out of this apartment simply because she lied to me.
Sometimes I may even be spending that time entirely alone. Those are the times fear and doubt creep up on me and I get ideas and things to say and do that may provide insight but will also hurt the relationship
.

A lot of what I'd say or caution you with has already been said, but I'd also like to point something else out.

You came here to share because you see and saw a problem. I feel like you're confused and I say this because when reading what you wrote, your two paragraphs almost contradict each other.

You mention many things that are red flags and I think you know that. Your desires and wishes don't line up with what you know is right. When you say that fear and doubt creep in when you're alone, I think that's when you're able to think clearly.

I pray that you're able to hear what has been shared out of love today and I pray that you know the Lord will share and speak with you, but use caution when things don't make sense. Read His word and seek a pastor nearby that can help you in seeking what the Lord would have you do. He's not going to tell you to do things that are clearly talked against in His word.

Lying at the beginning of a relationship is a horrible thing and you deserve better.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
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#16
He tells me to have faith in him my girlfriend and myself as a man. While it is difficult to live having only my faith and a spouse who may or may not be lying to me.
No where in the bible does it tell us to have faith in ourselves or others. "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5) "He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool" (Proverbs 28:26). Consider that you decided to move in with a woman that you didn't know very well, commit adultery, and are now wrestling with her deceit... That's what happens when we have faith in ourselves and a fellow sinner. Your own decisiveness has put you in a vicarious situation, don't be fooled into thinking that God directed your actions. The fortune cookie? Maybe?
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
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#17
A lot of what I'd say or caution you with has already been said, but I'd also like to point something else out.

You came here to share because you see and saw a problem. I feel like you're confused and I say this because when reading what you wrote, your two paragraphs almost contradict each other.

You mention many things that are red flags and I think you know that. Your desires and wishes don't line up with what you know is right. When you say that fear and doubt creep in when you're alone, I think that's when you're able to think clearly.

I pray that you're able to hear what has been shared out of love today and I pray that you know the Lord will share and speak with you, but use caution when things don't make sense. Read His word and seek a pastor nearby that can help you in seeking what the Lord would have you do. He's not going to tell you to do things that are clearly talked against in His word.

Lying at the beginning of a relationship is a horrible thing and you deserve better.
I hope everyone who has read this post will also be praying for this man and woman.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
#18
I hope everyone who has read this post will also be praying for this man and woman.
Prior to making this post, or after it, did you pray?

And if you were in OP's position what would you do? Would you like to tell him, so that hopefully by your prayer and advise he will make a change in his life?
 

Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
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#19
Prior to making this post, or after it, did you pray?

And if you were in OP's position what would you do? Would you like to tell him, so that hopefully by your prayer and advise he will make a change in his life?
Yes I have. I will continue to do so.

I think he has been given much good direction from the posts already. That is why I did not add to it.

Look to the Bible. Not fortune cookies.
Pray to the God of the Bible and ask for understanding as he reads the Bible.
Find a strong Christian mentor.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#20
I just wanted to say there are a few
different types of trouble.

Trouble we have no control over, sickness, job loss, death of someone etc etc

Then there is trouble we put ourselves into. Hate to say this but in your case it sounds like the latter.

There is no way you can get to know a person and their children in a couple of months and on that basis then decide to spend the rest of your life with them.

I know it’s common place to move in with someone to get to know them. But what if having got to know them you decide it’s not did you. Well you then go your separate ways leaving confused and upset children as “another of mum’s boyfriends takes a hike”.

If for no one else you both should have thought this through properly for the sake of the children.

Now you have a big decision. I can’t answer it for you. Do you stay or do you go. If you go, do you go for good or just restart over at the beginning ie getting to know each other before making any life committing decisions.

Maybe she is right for you maybe not. But if you can’t or don’t trust her it doesn’t bode well for the future.

Maybe you both need to put your hope and trust in God first before making moves on each other.