I want to keep knowing more and more about God and his sovereignty. I am starting to understand how much he controls but I don’t ever want to think I know enough. I am just thinking so much about everything that happens in my life from the smallest things and realizing that coincidences don’t exist. God controls every little thing. But I worry that I’m preoccupied on trying to understand why the littlest things happen. Can we ever really know?
Hi Leah...
Are you an independent learner, or do you have access to teachers in your congregation? If you have trusted teachers you can ask them to point you to particular sites where you can explore more the topics of your interest at leisure.
If you are an independent learner, then it can be a little trickier. You can get tons of information about your topics of interest using Google or other engine, the problem then is ascertaining what is good from not so good info.
Sovereign of God: much debated and interesting topic.
Ephesians 2:10
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
So one of the good work for you maybe is to learn more about God so that eventually you can have a personal experience with the Holy Spirit of God.
In some traditions they got the story as such:
When Adam and Eve were in Eden before the fall, the Holy Spirit of God was indwelling them, and that allowed them to have fellowship with God.
After the transgression, the Holy Spirit (HS) left them, and the fellowship with God was lost.
Jesus came to die for our transgressions, so we could receive pardon, and to baptize us with the Holy Spirit, so we could restore the fellowship with God.
So for some traditions, knowing about God should lead you to wanting to get the baptism of the Holy Spirit to have actual fellowship with God.
Then the Holy Spirit should guide you in your daily life, so you get the divine perspective of things and act according to the Holy Spirit counsel.
He can bring to your mind memorized verses, pious friends that share some useful information, or may hear a particular applicable sermon in the radio in the car.
More devout believers have actually heard God's voice offering advice, counsel, warning, etc.
When you are baptized with the Holy Spirit, if your mission in life calls for a ministry, then the HS will bestow gifts to you so you can carry out the mission.
To learn more about gifts of the Holy Spirit just look it up in Google or other search engine.
Remember just like good synagogue Bereans did (Acts 17: 10 - 12), whatever message of God you receive by any means, it has to jibe with the Bible, the Holy Spirit does not contradict Himself.
Thus beside praying, fasting, and studying theology, knowledge of the Bible is very useful.
See, many things that are not that great happen because persons are outside God's covering, they voluntarily have stayed away from God's sovereign rule in that particular human heart.
It is not about rules and following, it is about something greater: Romans 5:5. Jesus accused the Pharisees of not having the Love of God in their hearts, and you only get that through the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit will patiently and benignly help you make it along the holiness highway.
Hope this helps.