Can a man love ONLY ONE woman?

Well, I ran into my ex-wife a few days ago from a civil marriage in 2016. I've been concerned since her health was not the greatest, so I was very relieved to see her. But, we were not happy together and the plan of hoping for the best and just letting life and love take it's course to overcome loneliness, trusting that we would grow closer and fall in love, turned out to be stormy seas (we were neighbors in an apartment building). We had a few good times, though, and after a year of wondering how she was doing, we hugged each other in the grocery store line. That was a form of Christian love, reaching a point of forgiving each other enough to speak to one another and share a hug.

But, I think the thread here was trying to find some answers as to what is true romantic marital eternal love between one man and one woman. A relationship where someone doesn't say after 20 or 30 years, "I don't love you anymore."
The Christian movie, "Fireproof," was a good one about finding love in a marriage again.

I'm not Catholic and am not endorsing the Catholic Church, but they have a good way of defining marriage while trying to honor the Bible's high calling for marriage. If someone wants to get a divorce, they will look at the relationship and determine if there was "sacramental" love, which is what confirms a marriage in Catholic tradition. Not sure how they determine this, but it's mostly about if a loving, peaceful relationship was present from the beginning. If not, they will annul the marriage. In other cases, I've heard that even unmarried couples will qualify for "sacramental love" being present, and they will not annul the relationship.

So, divine love is what marries people, but, a true marriage must also be confirmed legally-- church and state, in Christian tradition.
Lafftur brought up a good issue in saying that God wants church leadership to be about the Kingdom of God, and not dealing with a bunch of women.

I have to put in my two cents worth here, and last month, that's exactly what I had left in my bank account--Zero balance with 2 cents in savings. This is one reason why I am sitting in an almost empty grocery store lounge at midnight alone by the fireplace, writing about all my expertness on relationships. But, I heard a good Christian radio show just before mother's day. Dr. Meg was saying that women need friendships with other women, because they can't expect their husbands to understand them. She said that women "get each other," and can empathize with one another, and she has to wear a cap when her husband comes home from work that says, "how are you?" on it, because her husband is so dumb that he just doesn't remember to ask her because his mind is still on work.
Those weren't her exact words, but, she has a point and psychologists are just too smart. If they are a lady, a Christian, AND a psychologist, that makes them pretty darn scary. But, she's right. Women do get relationships much more than men--That's just their gift, in the traditional sense. Which makes them closer to the heart of God, most of the time, because, as I heard one pastor say once: "Jesus came to save our hearts and souls," not our minds alone. And somehow, He managed to love a bunch of women at once, who were the real heroes if you read the Bible, who He relied on the most. His mother, and Mary Magdalene to name two. But, only Peter, James and John, went with Him up the mountain. Somehow, He managed to find the perfect balance of the roles of men and women in the church.

I know very little about true love, except that we need God's help to get there. The country song by Chris Young has a good way of saying it: "I've spent my whole life, gettin' it all wrong..."
But, divine love, when I can experience glimpses of it, is much more powerful than the things of the world that many people rely on, and can be reluctant to set aside. It's a lot like walking on water, and most of my time is spent on just staring at the seas, and not wanting to toss the life-preservers, the valium, or whatever might be the case.
Or just sitting on the edge of the boat, writing about it alone by a fireplace...
Too many words again...
But, I managed to deliver a bunch of flowers to a bunch of women for mother's day.
And I wept for my mother visiting a Catholic church with a Catholic friend named Mary [middle name and last].
The Lord comforted me when I reached for a prayer card--my mother's first name was on it.
And today, I was thinking about mother's day, and have been grieving about deserting her, not being able to face her suffering last days. Her favorite birds were Robins.
As I sat in my car overlooking a lake today, a Robin hopped up next to my car and visited with me for a while.
I'll try and post the iphone video and picture as soon as I get back to where I am living over the mountains.
So, I guess I know how to love birds...
"Consider the birds..."
I think that's the answer...

Great to hear from you, Herald!

I enjoyed reading everything you said! Some people post and only speak from their head but, you spoke from your heart! There is a tremendous difference - the heart vs. the head.

God loves it when we speak to Him from our heart, not our head. He listens intently to our hearts - enjoying our openness, honesty and vulnerability with Him.

My grandmother's favorite bird was roadrunners. After she died, I had two encounters with roadrunners! Never saw them before in my life and after those two times, I haven't seen them since. So special. My brother was with me with one of those encounters and he even immediately said, "That's grandma!" His eyes were as big as quarters!

Thank-you for your kind words + I did ramble on a bit, and that's amazing about the roadrunners! We don't have them up north. There are a lot of birds here. Nearby here, a rare Asian duck made the front page of the paper. But the state bird here in the wild north is the humble Ptarmigan. Amazing thing about those roadrunners-- don't think the Coyote ever got the cartoon one! If you missed it, it's: "Roadrunner, the coyote's after you...roadrunner, if he catches you you're through! poor little roadrunner, never bothers anyone...just runnin' down the road's his idea of havin' fun!" Amazing that your brother would see so easily the connection.
I wonder how your grandmother came to her liking of them?
You're right, it's not easy for us guys to reach our hearts. And thanks for the encouragement to keep listening and valuing the right priorities.
We can get there after a few hundred words--
But even the warrior king David was in touch with his heart, and Jesus in the midst of heavy spiritual combat of this world said, "Consider the lilies...consider the birds..."

*flip a coin*

If heads, yes
If tails, no

The result of the coin flip is not my responsibility

I still like @oyster67 and @MattforJesus side of the coin! Lol!

One man loving only one woman. Anything more is double trouble!

But John 14:6 - Jesus is the only way

Women are not Jesus, and how can the right apple be found?

Let Jesus pick'em

When the Lord said, "I thirst," He was referring to the suffering of all humanity, not just half.
Also, when He said,
“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’ (Matthew 25:45; NLT).
According to Christ, women are Jesus, equally.

I have been reading posts on this thread.
Wasn't sure if I should post or not.
Seems to be differences and a bit of confusion concerning the intention of the OP.
Not going at the question asked.

Some have loved and lost, yet found love again.

To me in this context it relates to a firm commitment as in marriage.

My wife and I celebrate 25 years of marriage this year.
In fact going on a cruise in a couple of weeks, actually on my wife's birthday even though our anniversary date is July.

Could I love another woman in the way I love my wife?
I would say no.
I have, we have harvested over the years the perfection of love.
This love is not just agape love, it entails an Eros love, an emotional love.
If my wife died tomorrow or left me would I try again.
I would have to say no for me.
Yet for others who can I say go for it.
One of the reasons I struggled to get married was because I did not want to die before my wife.
I just did not want her to be in pain.
Yet I would rather she died before me and I would carry that pain.

So could I love only one woman?
Yes and no.
Yes because I only love my wife, my soul mate, my life long partner.

Could I love another woman like my wife. No I could not.
But I could love them like Jesus did with the women he walked with.
But I would make sure my wife is with me in this.

Love your post, and your signature too.
God bless you, brother.

Wife's love your husbands as if they were Christ not seen. Husbands appear as if Christ was seen as the Son of man wash her with the water word the doctrines of God. .She will submit to that love by faith not seen . The goal

For a while now I wonder if it is possible for a man to love a woman . lately my wife which she says is more than lately says that we do not communicate. She was expecting more when the children moved, My Wife would say I do not bring up matters of our joint concern .I could work harder . She loves good and hard and at times it can be a flood and a wall scenario. . It seem I am defending myself more than us at times . Any ideas?

Hello garee,

Listen, we’re all in the same boat trying to figure out what makes a loving life giving relationship between a man and a woman.....

No one really has any definite answers. We’re all so different yet, kind of the same.

During “first love” everything is wonderful. But, the storms of life beat upon the relationship and it begins to look a bit tattered.

The relationship needs constant maintenance. Every morning I ‘m reading my Bible- maintaining my relationship with God. We need to give attention to our spouses every morning, too.

Ask questions, find out what your spouse would call “a good morning with you!”

Take the time and invest in each other’s needs and wants. Your spouse was once the most important (after Jesus) in the beginning. What happened?!! Don’t answer that! Lol!

Go back and do what you did in the beginning.

I do think it's possible but it's harder than men believe when they first get married. Pornography and the sexual culture make it difficult to not constantly think of other women. You really have to be committed to God first and your wife second. Commit to things like not looking at the pretty girl or how you handle yourself around women at work. I don't think younger men really understand how hard it is but as someone almost 40 I can tell you it's tough, but it absolutely can be done. Praise the Lord!

Hello cjbsnow! Welcome to CC!
I am SO GLAD you said this! It is both refreshing and encouraging!

Please take it with a grain of salt though. I am a sinful man. I have had an online affair and totally regret it. I simply understand who I was then and, hopefully, the things I've done to not act in the same manner now. Thank you for your nice note

I can deal with it.....were there two witnesses?

Mosaic regulations specifically stated that a person could be executed only if there were two or more witnesses to the crime (Deuteronomy 19:15).

Look what God states...... He wants faithfulness...

Malachi 2:13-16

13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,”[b] says the Lord Almighty.
So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

God has created our biology for monogamy.....we go against our designed nature when we are not monogamous.

Case in point.........Oxytocin a neurotransmitter.......(it is helpful to have son who is a neuroscientist).....he sent me some info that might be helpful

God is so amazing why do we go against what He perfectly designed......also released during the height of intimacy

Oxytocin increases fidelity; men in monogamous relationships who were given a boost of oxytocin interacted with single women at a greater physical distance then men who weren't given any oxytocin. The cultivation of oxytocin is essential for creating strong bonds and improved social interactions.
Often referred to as the cuddle hormone, a simple way to keep oxytocin flowing is to give someone a hug. Dr. Paul Zak explains that inter-personal touch not only only raises oxytocin, but reduces cardiovascular stress and improves the immune system; rather than just a hand shake, go in for the hug. Dr. Zak recommends eight hugs each day.

Sincere Greetings Lafftur,

Your observations were a joy to read. I recognize your intent on understanding. It is precious in the sight of God.

There is a beauty in Knowing the Ways, the Laws/Commandments, the Statutes, the Ordinances and the testimonies of God in that they reflect Him directly. If we meditate on these things we most certainly will fall in love with them and untimately God Himself.

I say this to make a point that when we fall in Love with God through His Ways, Commandments etc, we also fall in love with those who love Him the same way. This is the "True Love" everyone is looking for.

Note how Jesus looked with love upon the Rich Young Ruler when he recognized his love for the Father through his obedience:

Mar 10:17-23 KJV And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? (18) And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. (19) Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. (20) And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. (21) Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. (22) And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions. (23) And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!

Jesus, loving this young man, held out to him a perfect gift, to come up higher. But alas, riches had inverted his thinking.

We do not have the benifit of the written word, but it is entirely possible that as Jacob aged and wrestled with God and became a man of spiritual insight that his heart opened to the likes of Leah. We know that Rachael was a deceitful idolator. These things would eventually become a problem in the man that YHWH renamed Israel.

Bless YHWH! Know and Keep Jn 14:21