Getting Enough Lovin’

Sorry........... I should have been a little more clear. There are those victims who end up on a path Sub above mentioned. I was refering to the fact that in this day and age with selfies EVERYWHERE, there are so many females who CRAVE attention and who flaunt what they've got. It doesn't have to be porn in the sense of a video or magazine etc........... just typing in key words and browsing images can bring pictures before your eyes that are not meant for the whole world to see, not just the girl who has chosen or got stuck in industry, but also the girl/woman next door who looks in the mirror likes what she sees and wants everyone else to like it to. AND SADLY: MOST OF THEM HAVE NEVER BEEN TAUGHT BETTER! it comes back to living in a fallen world and needing Jesus.

It's a very tragic situation those women become so messed up that they often never recover and can never have a normal healthy relationship.

Saddly many of those gals get their self worth from the attention they get from the fellas. They don't know their self worth is the image God that is in them. They are valuable because they are created in the image of God, not because some manchild wants to gratify himself with her body.

I agree and because of that we have dad's who are not leading families as God intended, we have moms who are not setting examples of modesty and purity, which gives us children who think these behaviors are all right and/or who are trying to fill the "daddy void" (meaning they are looking for the attention/love- both boys and girls in different ways- this discussion is mostly about the girls) by going out and getting it anyway they can...........................
DADS: Please show them love, show them their value
MOMS: Please teach them they are more than that
GOD: PLEASE HELP ME! GUIDE ME AND TEACH ME as I raise both, my daughter and my sons in this broken world

Perhaps it is because in todays world we limited to only one wife. It was never meant to be so unless you were an Elder or Deakin according to scripture. Better not to marry if you can resist temptation but better to marry than to burn.

When David took Bathsheba for himself he was not rebuked by God for wanting sex , but for taking anothers wife. Nathan the prophet told him all he had to do was ask and his Father would have provided.

Scripture on sex is that man nor woman should deny the other their bodies except for a time of prayer.

Interesting thoughts.

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Hungry, we were just 'quoting scripture' - male and female made He them', it's like everything else
in this world pertaining to 'fleshly desires', it has to be managed correctly - this can be a long-hard-road,
all we have to do is to check-out ROMANS, it's quite a battle...

It’s not a battle if you choose a side. If you feed the flesh, it gets stronger. Feed the spirit, it gets stronger. That’s why we put the flesh to death. Being honest here, after frustrated with my sexual appetite not being satiated year after year, I was becoming bitter. God told me that it wasn’t my lack of sex and pleasure that made me bitter, it was my expectation. So I died. I expected nothing, I wanted nothing. I ate to heal and spent many hours in prayer and meditation. I still had good relationships but didn’t expect anything from anyone. During this time I never felt more at peace. Eventually like Moses and Jesus, I had to return from the “wilderness”. I am well aware of the dichotomy that man is, both flesh and spirit. The more focussed I am at improving my flesh, the stronger the carnality surges in me. Stupid hormones. There is great truth that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. I felt the Spirit like an energy radiating within me. Since I have been strengthening my body, the hormones influence my thoughts. I am less patient, and have a greater appetite for sex. All of the improvements I have made for this decaying flesh, have done nothing for my spirit. Maybe this is my cross to carry. Like the rich man I need to give up on the things the world values, including a sexy physique, and follow Christ.

I don't see how anyone who is abstinent before marriage can know what their or their spouse's libido will be.

Even if they discussed it before marriage. They might have agreed to have sex 4-5 times a week but, after they get married, they may not feel that way.

How can a person who is a virgin, agree to sex 4-5 times a week when they have no idea about their libido?

An unmarried person may have feelings for sex, but after they are married and start having sex, they may find that 1-2 times a week is quite sufficient.

I feel that people should not have sex if they don't feel like it, simply to please their spouse. This is not something that I'm advising married people, it's just my personal opinion.

If a spouse has low libido, then the other spouse needs to learn self control and not let sex be such a big issue, like the marriage will fall apart or someone will go and cheat.

Being single, one of the things you learn is self control. After marriage, the same self control can be used.

For the spouse who wants to have sex, how does he/she feel within themself, that they are having sex with someone who does not want to?

To be honest, I just don't understand how that works.

I get what you are saying but can’t that be true for everything in marriage. What if he doesn’t want to travel but she does? What if she doesn’t want to wash his clothes? What if he doesn’t want to rub her feet? I agree with what you’re saying. It’s never fun making people do things against their will. Either they do it in love or they shouldn’t do it at all. I noticed something though. Most people are attracted initially to another person because that person has value. However, they fall in love with people who make them feel valued. How valued would you feel if the only person who could satisfy your need would rather be on Facebook? And the only reason they are on Facebook is because you decided to watch television instead of ask them how their day was.

I MAY go deeper on this comment later but for now I'll just say this : What we are missing on this subject is the fact that marriage (and EVERYTHING that goes along with it) is a foreshadowing of Christ and His bride the church. AGAIN WE LIVE IN A FALLEN BROKEN WORLD so of course it's not going to reflect that unless the COUPLE (MAN &WIFE) are walking in unison to reflect that.................. again I'm not going to go to deep on that thought at this time........................
HUNGRY: I can tell this is a frustrating area in your life. I do not believe you're going to get an answer here (on this thread) that isn't going to leave you frustrated in these issues. to quote you here " Like the rich man I need to give up on the things the world values, including a sexy physique, " if you'r goal in the gym (or wherever) is to gain a sexy physique, then perhaps maybe what you said is true. HOWEVER, if your goal there is to become HEALTHY then don't give up. It also sounds like your wife has somethings in her life that she needs to let the Lord deal with. You cannot make her change, you cannot MAKE her want you (in any area). HOWEVER YOU CAN PRAY FOR HER! Not in a sense of " I want her to want me I want her to XYZ" but rather in try something (from the deepest part of your being) along the lines of "Lord help her with XYZ..... show me how to love her/express that in a way she'll understand. " etc......... and when you speak with her, be careful of your tone of voice and expressions.

*Sorry, my kid got up and I hit the wrong button, (it won't let me edit it now.......)let me back up a little and wrap up here*

HOWEVER YOU CAN PRAY FOR HER! Not in a sense of " I want her to want me I want her to XYZ" but rather in try something (from the deepest part of your being) along the lines of "Lord help her with XYZ..... show me how to love her/express that in a way she'll understand. " etc......... and when you speak with her, be careful of your tone of voice and expressions. It's amazing how when we begin to love our spouse unconditionally how much God can do in us and for us! As I said earlier, I can tell this is a frustrating area for you and I will be praying for you.

Thanks for your words, and prayers. However, I’m not all that frustrated. Granted I used to be. What’s frustrating now isn’t that my libido is idling too high, or that my wife isn’t responsive. One of the problems I hadn’t faced before is that I worked out at home and worked with other men all day. There was no temptation of the eyes. Now at the gym and if I go somewhere there are women who are flirty and give body language. I’m not worried about cheating, it’s just these hormones are a distraction. I wanted to be fit and powerful, to be available for His purposes. whatever the call. I like feeling how I feel, energetic and confident but it’s sending out the wrong pheromones. No worries. I know God will instruct me according to His will. That’s all I really want. Be blessed.

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ROMANS 7 = poor ole Paul, he readily admitted to 'the struggle' and OVER-CAME' - wonder of wonders, how in the world
did he do that??????????????????
as it is 'written',
'I can do ALL THINGS through Christ Jesus, Who strengthens me.'

don't mind me here, was going to type something hours ago but was interupted and lost my thought and now cann't seem to get this reply button to delete what was started so i'm just typing over it and sorry rambling again................ gotta go ask a user2user question bout this...........

What verses tell us that monogamy was never meant to be so unless you were an Elder or Deacon?

And I am aware of 2 Samuel 12:8 which is debatable, but what other verses are you referring to?

WE can Debate all we like , but David was never rebuked for the act of taking another wife, but for taking someone elses wife. he was told to just ask and god would provide.

King Solomon had many many wives, but again never rebuked for having lots only rebuked for taking none Israeli wives.

Only scripture for saying one wife refers to Elders and Deakins, if it was meant for all it would have said so.

Paul actually also said it better to not marry at all.

Hope that one not enforced by law too

David and Solomon might not have been rebuked, but it doesn't mean God was pleased with what they were doing or that it was right.

Deuteronomy 17:17 says that a king shouldn't "multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away..."

Funny thing, we see that Solomon's many wives did that very thing...turned his heart away! "For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods; and his heart was not perfect with Yahweh his God, as was the heart of David his father. For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites. And Solomon did evil in the sight of Yahweh, and went not fully after Yahweh..." 1 Kings 11:4-5

"And Yahweh was angry with Solomon because his heart was turned away from Yahweh God of Israel..." 1 Kings 11:9.

God tells Solomon that because he didn't keep His covenant or statues that He commanded, that He would "...rend the kingdom from thee and give it to thy servant" 1 Kings 11:11

So while God may not have flat-out rebuked Solomon, He certainly wasn't happy that the man chose to go against His commands. God told them what would happen if they took multiple wives....and it happened. And when it happened to Solomon, he was punished for it.

In the NT, we're told in 1 Corinthians 7:2 that to avoid fornication, every man should have his own wife and every wife her own husband. There's no plural there. ONE wife. ONE husband.

Then there's Jesus, who said, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:4-6

Jesus said the man would leave his family and hold fast to his wife. Not wives. Not to mention the fact that he mentions TWO becoming one flesh. Not three, or four, or seven hundred. That was meant for all of us, not just kings or deacons or elders.

Let me clarify. You don't need to cite 2 Samuel 12:8 for me because I'm familiar with that verse and its usage to support polygamy.

While I'm not here to debate, there is much debate in the religious community about 2 Sam 12:8 and whether it can be legitimately used to support polygamy in New Testament marriage.

However, I merely asked you to cite scriptures that tell us that monogamy was never meant to be so unless you were Elder or Deacon. No debate here. I'm just asking for those scriptures that tell us that monogamy was never meant to be so unless you were an Elder or Deacon. I would like read that verse or verses for myself. Thanks

There are none. If anything, the pastoral epistles reinforce that a man should have only one wife. No man is his right mind would want more than one wife anyway, IMO.

1 Timothy 3:2 is a reference mentioning the “husband of one wife.” If everyone was monogamous wouldn’t that be a given. Sort of like if job discription required a man to lift 100 lbs. Its listed because there must be men who can’t lift 100lbs. So if it is stating a bishop must have one wife, it is implied there must be followers with more.