What Do Men REALLY Mean When They Say, "God Made Men Visual"?

Here's what I have heard: Men are visual, which means men are attracted when they see a beautiful woman. Women are audible, which means women are not attracted when they see a handsome man, they're only attracted when they hear he's got money.

I want to apologize to everyone here, particularly the guys, in that I know both my original post and the poll answers are steeped in my own negative feelings about this particular stereotype. I should have found a way to write it from a more neutral perspective, and I'm sorry for not doing a very good job at that.

Many thanks to all the great guys here who have given this thread the benefit of the doubt! I'm actually quite happy to read that some of the guys don't know what to choose in this poll, because almost all the answers are pretty disheartening (from a woman's point of view, at least.)

Hamarr, you also make a good point about some women thinking they should have someone who is, uh, perhaps a bit out of their league as well.

This is another thread idea I've thought about posting in the future: the fact that, in the churches I've grown up in at least, a good (or good-looking) man in church seems to turn some women into a pack of snarling dogs, all trying to take each other out in order to try to claim the apparently uber rare male specimen for herself. This is why I've spent my entire life trying to avoid crushing on men that all the other women wanted--I was pretty sure I'd be ripped from limb to limb if I ever tried! But, that's another topic for a different thread.

I'm also glad to hear the acknowledgment that women respond to visual cues as well.

Going back to the story in the original post about the guy who was printing out porn--it was around the year 2001, before everyone was carrying phones, so I have no idea why he felt the need to print those pictures out (he had a stack high enough to wallpaper his room) instead of just having them on his computer. He had them out in plain sight, and just glancing at them made me feel insecure and pretty horrible, but he brushed it off as something completely normal that he had a right to. But, he claimed to be a devout Christian and include some kind of prayer-like acknowledgement ("Thank you for this day, Lord,") during his conversations.

I'm not exactly the type of girl who can just stay quiet and be good while have her feelings continually hurt and ignored, so in the back of my mind, I was formulating a plan.

Everyone has insecurities, and I knew what all of his were. He was particularly insecure about a certain facial feature, and so I had decided that I was going to start cutting out pictures from magazines showcasing male models with presumably perfect versions of that feature. So let's say that this boyfriend was totally insecure about his smile (that wasn't what he was insecure about, but I'm using that as an example.)

At that time, companies like Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger were churning out all kinds of ads with male models, fully clothed, with plenty of perfect smiles. I was going to cut out every single picture I could find and start leaving them everywhere--in his room, in his car, at my house, tucked into the pockets of his jacket... All with gleaming, flawless smiles that were all bright and straight...

Because I wanted him to know what it was like having to catch glimpses of pictures that made me really dislike myself all the time.

Fortunately, we broke up before I was actually able to carry that out. But I sure would have if it had continued. (I'm not saying that was the right thing to do at all. I'm basically confessing the wrong thing I would choose to do if ever in that situation again.)

And, from all the little tidbits I share here in these threads, it should be pretty obvious as to why I'm single.

Anyways... Sorry for the little detour. Now it's time to go back to our regularly-scheduled discussion.

Lol.

Zero, and if I got paid a dollar for every time you said women are only out for money, I could buy a new car. 🙄

I want to apologize to everyone here, particularly the guys, in that I know both my original post and the poll answers are steeped in my own negative feelings about this particular stereotype. I should have found a way to write it from a more neutral perspective, and I'm sorry for not doing a very good job at that.

Many thanks to all the great guys here who have given this thread the benefit of the doubt! I'm actually quite happy to read that some of the guys don't know what to choose in this poll, because almost all the answers are pretty disheartening (from a woman's point of view, at least.)

Hamarr, you also make a good point about some women thinking they should have someone who is, uh, perhaps a bit out of their league as well.

This is another thread idea I've thought about posting in the future: the fact that, in the churches I've grown up in at least, a good (or good-looking) man in church seems to turn some women into a pack of snarling dogs, all trying to take each other out in order to try to claim the apparently uber rare male specimen for herself. This is why I've spent my entire life trying to avoid crushing on men that all the other women wanted--I was pretty sure I'd be ripped from limb to limb if I ever tried! But, that's another topic for a different thread.

I'm also glad to hear the acknowledgment that women respond to visual cues as well.

Going back to the story in the original post about the guy who was printing out porn--it was around the year 2001, before everyone was carrying phones, so I have no idea why he felt the need to print those pictures out (he had a stack high enough to wallpaper his room) instead of just having them on his computer. He had them out in plain sight, and just glancing at them made me feel insecure and pretty horrible, but he brushed it off as something completely normal that he had a right to. But, he claimed to be a devout Christian and include some kind of prayer-like acknowledgement ("Thank you for this day, Lord,") during his conversations.

I'm not exactly the type of girl who can just stay quiet and be good while have her feelings continually hurt and ignored, so in the back of my mind, I was formulating a plan.

Everyone has insecurities, and I knew what all of his were. He was particularly insecure about a certain facial feature, and so I had decided that I was going to start cutting out pictures from magazines showcasing male models with presumably perfect versions of that feature. So let's say that this boyfriend was totally insecure about his smile (that wasn't what he was insecure about, but I'm using that as an example.)

At that time, companies like Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger were churning out all kinds of ads with male models, fully clothed, with plenty of perfect smiles. I was going to cut out every single picture I could find and start leaving them everywhere--in his room, in his car, at my house, tucked into the pockets of his jacket... All with gleaming, flawless smiles that were all bright and straight...

Because I wanted him to know what it was like having to catch glimpses of pictures that made me really dislike myself all the time.

Fortunately, we broke up before I was actually able to carry that out. But I sure would have if it had continued. (I'm not saying that was the right thing to do at all. I'm basically confessing the wrong thing I would choose to do if ever in that situation again.)

And, from all the little tidbits I share here in these threads, it should be pretty obvious as to why I'm single.

Anyways... Sorry for the little detour. Now it's time to go back to our regularly-scheduled discussion.

Yep. Many men are intimidated by a strong woman, and it sounds like you are that!

Lol.

Zero, and if I got paid a dollar for every time you say that women are only out for money, I could buy a new car. 🙄

Hey Everyone,

We had a recent discussion about what women really mean when they say they're looking for a man to be a good provider, which was actually meant to explore the stereotype that women are only out for money.

Now it's time to check out the flip side and take a look at the counter-stereotype, that men are are only out for sex.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard men say, "God made men visual!" But what exactly does that mean? Maybe I've just had bad experiences with this phrase, but I tend to brace myself every time I hear it, because the only way I've heard it used was as an excuse:

* (From the boyfriend who was printing out porn from the internet) -- "Boys will be boys. After all, God made us visual... no big deal."

* The profile of a guy on a Christian dating site who wrote that he was only interested in talking to "former cheerleaders, gymnasts, and women with slim, athletic bodies, because God made men visual." I'll at least give this guy points for theoretically posting an honest picture, because he was clearly at least 50 pounds overweight and had a very obvious, protruding double chin.

I wanted to write and ask him, "If God made men visual, do you think that He made women blind?"

Please note--I'm not shaking my head over the fact that he was overweight--almost everyone has struggles in that area. But what had me questioning his statement that "God made men visual" is that he clearly believed he had a God-given right to expect standards in a partner that he clearly did not meet himself.

* Another dating profile on the same Christian site in which a guy stated, "If you're the kind of girl that everyone says has a great personality, don't bother writing me. God made men visual, and so I need an exceptionally beautiful wife."

I admit that this statement about God making men visual has always made me cringe because I've never heard it said in any other context.

And so, I'm asking all the fellas (and the ladies, and everyone else) to enlighten a sister and tell us what it REALLY means when men say that God made them visual. I've given some of my own interpretations in the poll (which is anonymous and multiple choice,) but please feel free to write in your own answers as well.

I should also write a disclaimer in that I am NOT trying to bash men AT ALL, and am hoping to have a respectful discussion of a phrase I might very well be misunderstanding.

I'm not arguing that God didn't make men visual. But what I would argue is that God didn't make this as an excuse for sinful choices or a means by which to demand qualities that one does not qualify for. And I realize that not every guy who says this has bad intentions in mind.

Is there actually a positive way of looking at such a commonly-made statement?

(And for any guy who would tell me that God made men visual, I would have to counter that with, "God made women emotional.") If I would ever marry again, he would have to be someone who would already understand that just as a man would expect his visual/physical needs in marriage, he would be just as dedicated to meeting the emotional needs of his wife.)

But I could very well be wrong.

What are YOUR thoughts on the statement that "God Made Men Visual?"

When I'm with a woman, another woman can't steal anything of me from the one I'm with-even my eyes. But that's just me.