Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

Solemateleft · Mar 21, 2019

Hypothesis (or confounding Riddle): Strong women are likely to advise other woman not to chase men...
But if a strong woman knows what she wants (knows her own value, goals and dreams) is she not inclined to go for what she wants?

10 Reasons Strong Women Handle Relationships Differently

10 Insights on How Strong Women Approach Relationships
1. THEY DO NOT SEEK A RELATIONSHIP TO BE ‘SAVED’
2. STRONG WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT
3. THEY SEE RELATIONSHIPS AS A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN EQUALS
4. THEY HANDLE THEIR EMOTIONS WELL
5. STRONG WOMEN FEAR NO CONFLICT
6. THEY CONSIDER A RELATIONSHIP AS A TEAM
7. STRONG WOMEN DON’T GET JEALOUS EASILY
8. SOMETHING CASUAL IS NOT IN THEIR VOCABULARY
9. A STRONG WOMAN SHUNS AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY
10. STRONG WOMEN HAVE THEIR OWN GOALS AND DREAMS

Lynx · Mar 22, 2019

"9. A STRONG WOMAN SHUNS AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY"

Then I know a lot of weak women who talk a lot and think they are strong. To hear them talk (which is easily accomplished) they can take on the world. But they don't shun negativity. They take showers in it.

selfdissolving · Mar 22, 2019

LadyInWaiting said:

So I've been watching The Bachelor this season. I know I know...it's not the best thing for me to watch but it's so dramatic and juicy!

Anyways, this season there was no sex involved. So I don't think it's been inappropriate. The bachelor is a virgin this time. For those of you not familiar with the show. The bachelor starts off with about 30 women and each week he dates a few of them at a time and picks some that he wants to send home. At the end of the season, he has three women left. He goes on three home town dates. This is where each woman takes him home to meet her family. The last three women were Tayshia, Hannah, and Cassie. Both Tayshia's and Hannah's families were welcoming and gave Colton the bachelor their blessing. Cassie's dad, however, did not. He explicitly said he couldn't because he didn't see how Colton could love his daughter with 2 other women involved.

A little later, Cassie breaks up with Colton herself. This usually doesn't happen. The bachelor is the one who sends the women home. Colton was shocked. He said he loves Cassie the most and he doesn't want to continue the show. So he quit. He left Tayshia and Hannah to try to win over Cassie!

What's crazy is that Tayshia and Hannah are both beautiful and sweet women who clearly love Colton dearly. But...he chooses Cassie. Cassie has already broken up with him! I just don't get it. lol Anyways, today we will find out if Cassie accepts Colton and gives him another chance. I gotta say I can't wait for all that to unfold. If ya'll want, I'll let you know what she chooses tonight.

But that's not the topic of this thread...what I'm getting at is this. Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much? Cassie has never told Colton that she loves him. He has been shown wondering why she doesn't love him back or why she doesn't say it back.
My grandma used to say "the more love you show a man, the more disrespect you receive from him." I never really understood that until now. Colton couldn't case less about hurting the other two women. All he wants is Cassie who already left him!

And it's not just Colton and Cassie I'm talking about here. Men claim to want women to chase after them, but the few times I have chased guys they react very negatively. Maybe I'm just ugly or something but why is this? There were two men who clearly showed interest in me and when I told them I was into them, they backed off. Why is this? Can certain men not handle women who know what they want? Or do they really like the chase and the mystery of not knowing?

Do you ladies have any stories or points you would like to make regarding this topic? Have you chased a guy before and how did it end up?
Men, do you prefer women to chase you? Have you found that only unattractive women chase you? Do the women you really like not chase you? (This is something my brother has told me.)

I'm not trying to lump all men into a single group. Obviously some men don't want women to chase them and some do. But I would like to see what ya'll have to say about this. Just to have a general idea of what men want. Thanks!

The issue is confidence. A confident man will pursue his woman. An insecure man won't, because he's afraid of rejection due to being insecure.

Insecure men (betas) will wait for you to pursue them (most of the time).

But an alpha enjoys the hunt and will pursue his woman.

JustEli · Mar 22, 2019

The girls Ive dated, well we were just drawn to one another, from the moment we met. Ive never had any luck
with chicks who have made me chase em, nor those who have thrown themselves.

I certainly never enjoyed the "hunt"

of course I am shy and introverted. lol?

Didymous · Mar 23, 2019

JustEli said:

I'm not really looking but if I was, I'd be too lazy to chase one.

Lynx · Mar 23, 2019

selfdissolving said:

Hmm... sounds a bit primitive for my taste. I thought we had either evolved past that or been made on a higher level than that, depending on whether you believe in evolution or creation.

Solemateleft · Mar 23, 2019

Didymous said:

Lynx said:

hmm... come to think of it... since you put it that way... hmm, since we haven't evolved or humans being humans are not quite at a higher level as a species... I might not be too resistant to being conquered afterall... lol...

Princesse · Mar 2, 2020

Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much?

My companions preferred women who acknowledged their interest without excessive fawning, odd behavior, or hysterics.

Men claim to want women to chase after them, but the few times I have chased guys they react very negatively.

I prefer subtlety and a meeting of minds. It reveals his intellect, charisma and mental agility. I’m gauging if he can hold my attention and the seriousness of his pursuit. I don’t chase. If he wants me he’ll make me his.

Can certain men not handle women who know what they want? Or do they really like the chase and the mystery of not knowing?

Few desire a bobblehead. Maintaining femininity and poise while getting acquainted is important. Men aren’t seeking someone like themselves. You shouldn’t play hard to get just because. If you’re uncertain that’s okay. But don’t dangle a carrot.

Do you ladies have any stories or points you would like to make regarding this topic?

I’m attracted to a certain type. I know his scent and we’re a lot alike. Serve and volley is our forte. We draw the other in through our personalities and mental appeal. I don’t entertain suitors outside that stripe. That’s my complement. I understand him and needn’t return to the drawing board when I meet someone.

For me, chasing implies he’s the lone option or I’m afraid he’ll never choose me. That’s a scarcity mindset I don’t possess. Maintaining my self-respect and dignity throughout our engagement is a must. If I want a leader, I must allow him to prove himself. And I do. Many times over.

Lanolin · Mar 3, 2020

hmm havent seen this thread before. I actually read all the replies and they were hilarious.

You are all chasing each other round in circles.

BrotherMike · Mar 3, 2020

Lanolin said:

Like ring around the rosie?

enginseer · Mar 3, 2020

LadyInWaiting said:

While I dont watch tv and certainly not scripted garbage to dull the minds. I think it says a lot when love is cheapened by pageant where one group is made a supplicant where none is equal.
Over the years in Germany at least I can tell you that if your face just deviates from the norm, you will be told that you are not the "type" what that envisions I never found out. The type apparently is the cheater, abuser and unfaithful that a woman gladly runs to as soon as she stopped leaning on the shoulder of someone she friendzoned before telling him what a wonderful persons he is.

Men dont like games. Women try to wrap things up in hidden messages that the average man cant discern. but the bottom line is, a lot of good people fall through the cracks because of the imaginary shopping list, where people are judged by what they are not. A lot of women and men will stay single because of that.

Me on a personal scale, would welcome some chasing. but that is a luxurious experience I will never have so... whatever

Lanolin · Mar 17, 2020

on this thread...only cos I recently heard someone speak who appeared on the Bachelor and she was being treated oddly because she wasnt white....like 'go home cos you dont look like a white person'

I suspect that the guy in the OP who chose the gal who already broke up with him and ditched the two others had ulterior motives and possibly wanted to impress the Dad. Maybe money is involved.

Like it or not in dating scenarios money is always involved. Its a subtle game of figuring out 'how much money do you have' without asking directly.

GWYW_Bob · Jun 12, 2020

LadyInWaiting said:

So I've been watching The Bachelor this season. I know I know...it's not the best thing for me to watch but it's so dramatic and juicy!

Anyways, this season there was no sex involved. So I don't think it's been inappropriate. The bachelor is a virgin this time. For those of you not familiar with the show. The bachelor starts off with about 30 women and each week he dates a few of them at a time and picks some that he wants to send home. At the end of the season, he has three women left. He goes on three home town dates. This is where each woman takes him home to meet her family. The last three women were Tayshia, Hannah, and Cassie. Both Tayshia's and Hannah's families were welcoming and gave Colton the bachelor their blessing. Cassie's dad, however, did not. He explicitly said he couldn't because he didn't see how Colton could love his daughter with 2 other women involved.

A little later, Cassie breaks up with Colton herself. This usually doesn't happen. The bachelor is the one who sends the women home. Colton was shocked. He said he loves Cassie the most and he doesn't want to continue the show. So he quit. He left Tayshia and Hannah to try to win over Cassie!

What's crazy is that Tayshia and Hannah are both beautiful and sweet women who clearly love Colton dearly. But...he chooses Cassie. Cassie has already broken up with him! I just don't get it. lol Anyways, today we will find out if Cassie accepts Colton and gives him another chance. I gotta say I can't wait for all that to unfold. If ya'll want, I'll let you know what she chooses tonight.

But that's not the topic of this thread...what I'm getting at is this. Do men prefer women who don't show them they like them too much? Cassie has never told Colton that she loves him. He has been shown wondering why she doesn't love him back or why she doesn't say it back.
My grandma used to say "the more love you show a man, the more disrespect you receive from him." I never really understood that until now. Colton couldn't case less about hurting the other two women. All he wants is Cassie who already left him!

And it's not just Colton and Cassie I'm talking about here. Men claim to want women to chase after them, but the few times I have chased guys they react very negatively. Maybe I'm just ugly or something but why is this? There were two men who clearly showed interest in me and when I told them I was into them, they backed off. Why is this? Can certain men not handle women who know what they want? Or do they really like the chase and the mystery of not knowing?

Do you ladies have any stories or points you would like to make regarding this topic? Have you chased a guy before and how did it end up?
Men, do you prefer women to chase you? Have you found that only unattractive women chase you? Do the women you really like not chase you? (This is something my brother has told me.)

I'm not trying to lump all men into a single group. Obviously some men don't want women to chase them and some do. But I would like to see what ya'll have to say about this. Just to have a general idea of what men want. Thanks!

No chasers please. I don't think that's acceptable for a Christian woman. She can try to get his attention and be where he is but it is the man's responsibility to do the chasing. Pursuing a wife should be paramount for the man who claims he wants a wife.

NestForASparrow · Jun 12, 2020

My personality needs a woman that is willing to chase, otherwise nothing may ever happen.

GWYW_Bob · Jun 12, 2020

NestForASparrow said:

How about pursue or initiate? Most of us are sort of terrified to initiate with a woman, but a lot of that is fear of rejection. If you are talking about dealing with rejection, well, that's part of the deal, but it won't kill us. Having her say yes to coffee could change your life!

Lanolin · Jun 24, 2020

my sister runs marathons. I think she is a strong woman and I dont think she runs them because theres a man at the finish line. She gets medals instead.

I think I would only run AWAY if I was being chased, though it seems if you cant outrun someone you just hide and let them go on their own wild goose chase, cos Im not one of those people that go, ok man you caught me now for sure I REALLY want to be bound to you forever just cos you chased after me. well done you.

Just doesnt seem logical at all. What am I, prey?

Mii · Jun 25, 2020

Lanolin said:

So how does a person even show interest in a way you are comfortable with?

Everyone is different, but how is someone to know the best way to approach a person?

I've asked people out to simple coffee conversations, not a date per se, just a conversation and that it seems to me is too "bold" for some. Which is rather discouraging...they are waiting on something but how am I to know what that is?

Are you the type of person that you would rather ask the man out instead? This is a split opinion in the community I think.

There are only so many innocuous (platonic) places to meet that most could agree on. Group dating worked in youth groups, but I can't see that even being easily viable at present.

kinda · Jun 25, 2020

I generally think woman complicate relationships, until there is no hope of ever having a peaceful home.

How often do woman put men through a computer based software system to determine compatibility?!?! Magazine articles? Self help books? Etc?

Honestly think woman put so much pressure on men, that they rather goto a bar, than go home and talk to their wives.

Men are suppose to be the head of the household, not a puppet to provide every emotional, and financial want of their kids and spouse. It's how I see it. Woman think that once they are married, things need to change, and now the man is suppose to obey every demand of the wife.

If the wife's constant nagging and belittling of the man doesn't cause him to look else where for love (adultery), she will gladly divorce him anyways (whether it's a valid reason or not), and take half of everything he has worked for his whole life to gain. Plus, the man is now saddled with alimony, and child support.

This is a gross generalization of the situation, but it's how I see it. How often do woman pay child support and alimony? How often do woman goto jail for not paying alimony or child support? From my understanding, there is a definite advantage of being a woman in divorce proceedings. Woman generally win custody battles, unless there is some mental health issues.

Marriage is so corrupted in the western world, that I wonder why any man would even bother saying, I do.

Prenuptial agreements seem to be very common, because men are slowly catching on to the rigged system. Once again, divorce rate is close to 50%, to say this is all the man's fault is down right absurd.

Obviously, marriage isn't for me, but at least educate yourself, before you make any serious financial decisions.

Back to the topic on hand....

To pursue or not to pursue is the wrong question to ask. It's about common values, business, and compatibility. All these other dynamics are how people make money off of the lonely and desperate.

*These are kinda's opinions and maybe completely incorrect, but thought it would help to bring a different view point.

cinder · Jun 25, 2020

kinda said:

I generally think woman complicate relationships, until there is no hope of ever having a peaceful home.

How often do woman put men through a computer based software system to determine compatibility?!?! Magazine articles? Self help books? Etc?

Honestly think woman put so much pressure on men, that they rather goto a bar, than go home and talk to their wives.

Men are suppose to be the head of the household, not a puppet to provide every emotional, and financial want of their kids and spouse. It's how I see it. Woman think that once they are married, things need to change, and now the man is suppose to obey every demand of the wife.

If the wife's constant nagging and belittling of the man doesn't cause him to look else where for love (adultery), she will gladly divorce him anyways (whether it's a valid reason or not), and take half of everything he has worked for his whole life to gain. Plus, the man is now saddled with alimony, and child support.

This is a gross generalization of the situation, but it's how I see it. How often do woman pay child support and alimony? How often do woman goto jail for not paying alimony or child support? From my understanding, there is a definite advantage of being a woman in divorce proceedings. Woman generally win custody battles, unless there is some mental health issues.

Marriage is so corrupted in the western world, that I wonder why any man would even bother saying, I do.

Prenuptial agreements seem to be very common, because men are slowly catching on to the rigged system. Once again, divorce rate is close to 50%, to say this is all the man's fault is down right absurd.

Obviously, marriage isn't for me, but at least educate yourself, before you make any serious financial decisions.

Back to the topic on hand....

To pursue or not to pursue is the wrong question to ask. It's about common values, business, and compatibility. All these other dynamics are how people make money off of the lonely and desperate.

*These are kinda's opinions and maybe completely incorrect, but thought it would help to bring a different view point.

View attachment 218130

You made me think of this......

kinda · Jun 25, 2020

cinder said:

That guy obviously didn't read my post. lol

Do men prefer women who don't chase...at all?!

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