Hearing God's Voice... ? Help?!?!

Hi, I"m a returning missionary from Mexico. I just resigned from the mission a while ago, I felt as though I was weighed down with life's problems and discouragement when I left and felt the responsibility to help my family. I felt as though I was going to harm the mission if I stayed. All this to say, I left for many reasons. I was offered the opportunity again to come back but declined it for the sake of my family. Now I feel miserable and guilty every day, I dream about the people in Mexico I left behind. When I was there, I had peace, I did not miss my family for the first year and a half (out of a two year stretch). I had been praying and praying and praying about going back but had no peace about it, then again nor did I have peace about staying in my own country. Now, I am wondering, did I miss the Lord giving me another chance to return to the ministry? How can I hear his voice when it seems He is silent? Will He give me another chance? How do I know if I am called to be a missionary or not? I can't seem to hear the Lord's voice and I have been asking Him these questions for so long now. If any one has Godly council I would love to hear it.

Aw, must have been a tough decision but what was it you needed to help your family with?
Are they helped now, could they have been helped without you being there, maybe it was just for a season. Were you allowed furloughs, many go for a length of time, then have a break, catch up with necessary business at home then go out again. PAul made three missionary jouneys he actually did go home in between.

I was allowed a months furlow once a year. It felt like enough the first two times but then with the problems they were experiencing and the discouragement I felt, it didn't feel like enough. I knew I would not be permitted to stay with the mission and go home for three months at a time, so I resigned to go home and make sense of what I was feeling and help my family. Four people had told me they thought I was doing the wrong thing to leave and that I should rethink my decision. My feelings about my work and effectiveness were out of whack though and I decided not to go back. Now, with everything that has happened, I am regretting that and thinking perhaps I will always feel miserable like this and miss Mexico. My heart is so torn between my family and the place and people I loved.

What family?

Hi SarahA
Never feel guilty about helping anyone anywhere for the glory of God.

For instance, Moses gave you this law from God: ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you. In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. Mk.7:10-12

The whole world is God's mission field and it's wonderful that he's given you the heart to help others in it.

Hi @SarahA, first off, welcome to CChat

Question, when you explained your torn feelings, did your missions organization and/or your fellow missionaries think that you should stay on? Feelings can often be tricky things to go on, because what's truly behind them can be difficult to discern at times. Are you, for instance, longing to be back in Mexico because it's your true heart's desire to continue to serve the Lord and the people there right now, or could something be driving the feelings that your having right now, at least partially?

Based on what I read above, my advice would be to take the time you need to get your feelings resolved, and to continue to wait on the Lord and delight yourself in Him until He makes His will clear to you .. e.g. Romans 12:2.

Have you spoken to your pastor and asked for his counsel/asked him to begin praying for you (and perhaps your missions board, as well)?

Praying for you! (Numbers 6:24-26; Philippians 4:6-7)

~Deut

Hudson Taylor was one of the greatest and most effective ever missionaries. He founded the China Inland Mission, which brought the Gospel to China's interior for the first time. He experienced great hardship on the mission field (e. g. sickness and the death of his wife), but offered a profound insight about prayer that might be relevant to your dilemma. He said, "I learned I could receive the greatest answers to prayer when my heart felt like wood."

I think if you are this confused about your calling, and God is far away, it is probably not the best time to be on the mission field!

My advice would be to systematically read your Bible, meditate on the words, and pray anyway. And do get friends, family and even here in the Prayer Forum to pray for you.

God is in control, and he will reveal his will for you, if you are disciplined, and diligently seek him.

Hi again @SarahA, just to be clear, what I actually meant to say above is: ...could something [else] be driving the feelings that you are having right now, at least partially?

It seems to me that you should take the time you need to get such things straightened out in your mind before you consider going back, because you would not want to find yourself in Mexico again for anything other than the right reasons (and/or realize once you've gotten there again that you didn't really want to return after all), yes?

God bless you!

~Deut

This isn’t an exact comparison but I had to go out of town for work a few years ago. At first I missed my family and it felt hard. Then after a month it was hard going home. I got used to the quiet and the relaxation. Every time I went home in comparison it was utter chaos. I gave up the job because it was too difficult to adjust.

Sometimes we think we don’t hear God because we don’t like what He’s telling us.

Many will laugh and or make mouthy comments about what I am going to say.....I am 52 years old and have made numerous decisions on the toss of a coin........and the honest truth....the majority of the time when I go with the coin toss it works out perfectly and generally speaking when I second guess the coin toss or don't go with it there always seems to be problems....

MEN toss lots and the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord. <----Proverbs 16:33

Pray, TOSS a coin and go with it!!

SarahA...
Draw near to the Lord and he will draw near to you. The Lord is found within the scriptures and the prayer closet. The Spirit uses our time in the scripture to fulfill the promise of the New Covenant by writing the Lord's laws and commandments upon the tables of our hearts and minds which is transforming us into the image of Christ. The Spirit also makes those words to come alive and become Jesus to us, he who is the Word that was made flesh, and we learn of him, Spirit to spirit. Seek the Lord with the prayer of faith striving to believe for his blessing regarding the object of your requests. Make a short prayer list of those who need your prayers and go over them every day. Try to have your devotions for the same time of day, every day. The Lord delights in sharing his heart and grace with those who please him by believing that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him, and who then do so. Add fasting to the Lord to your devotions. At first a meal and then for a day.

Phil 4: 6, 7
Be careful for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
PTL! : )

When you study psychology it’s interesting the things you learn. In this case it has to do with the fact that the more faith you put in something your brain causes you to notice the things that make you right and ignore the things that make you wrong. No matter whether it’s the belief in evolution, superstition or the fate of a coin flip, the belief we are right causes us to be partially blind to alternative possibilities. The point is, no matter what the fateful coin decides, it is your determination that makes it work.

Well......some book/course written by a sexually perverted lost man does not define my belief.......nor does it NEGATE what GOD said in HIS WORD about men casting lots and who disposes the whole matter..........nor does it negate my personal experiences as a believer.....!!

GREAT MEN THINK ALIKE.

I HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME THING! WE ARE THE BEST! I say that in a humble way!

I suggest these 2 verses for meditation:
"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me (Matthew (10:27)."

I'm not saying that you should leave your family and return to Mexico because I'm poorly informed by the details of your situation. As you know, you have a responsibility to serve the best interests of your family. But meditation on this saying of Jesus might clarify your highest priority for you.

"Now there was a great wind,...but the Lord was not in the wind., and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire, and after the fire, THE SOUND OF SHEER SILENCE (1 Kings 19:11-12).

Elijah has just been divinely vindicated in the context with the prophets of Baal, only to discover that Jezebel is trying to kill him. So he flees for his life and feels suicidal so notice the model implied by the way he ultimately receives divine guidance.
(1) He deepens his longing for guidance. He does this by embarking on a 40-day pilgrimage to Mount Sinai (= Mount Horeb).
(2) He is hoping for a concrete sign from God and receives what might ordinary be deemed signs: an abnormally strong wind, and earthquake, and fire. But each time we are told that God is not in these expected so-called signs!
(3) So where is God present to guide? In "the sound of sheer silence, " phrase that might ultimately be translated "a sound so in tense you can hear it." [Note the KJV translation "a still, small voice" is inaccurate.]

So what is the phractical application of this guidance model?
(1) It is not enough to ask for guidance; we need to deepen our longing for guidance over time.
We must beware of always expecting obvious signs. God may not be present in our mistaken intepretations.
(2) If our longing is pure enough and is sustained long enough, our thoughts will crystallize. They will remain our thoughts, but they will also express God's guidance. Why? Because our sustained purified longing for God has deepened our union with God, so that our thoughts now express God's thoughts.

You should find This short study helpful...

Something I noticed through my years of life is:

It is EASY to show love to someone who you don't know and appears in need of immediate help. (Not discounting your help)

It is HARDER to show love for your immediate family.

It is HARDEST to understand love from above within yourself.

I have done that too.