Ever Notice-Christian Dating Sites

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

E6Warrior

New member
Feb 10, 2019
14
14
3
USA
www.biblicallycorrect.biz
#1
First,

I'd like to make perfectly clear that the point and topic of this discussion is about devout Christianity and not sexist, so please don't turn this into one. The secular world makes it painfully clear that they have contempt for men, so this is not what this is about.

Because I am male, I am sharing my perspective and experience from that viewpoint and invite women to respond in kind of whether they experience the same from the female point of view.

That said, have you ever noticed a lot of single Christians on dating sites tend to be either liberal or extremely liberal?

My observation is that as we advance with prophecy fulfillment, more and more Christians to one degree or another seem to align themselves with the world. Subsequently, I've seen countless profiles either barking at or excoriating bible-believing Christians who adhere to biblical principles and values.


Some examples I've seen go a little like this;


I'm spiritual but I don't go to church. There are too many hypocrites in the church. I have a personal and private relationship with God that doesn't require me to go to church.


If you are judgmental Christian then we may not be a good fit (this typically refers to holding people accountable for their sins or actions)


If you are legalistic and not lead by grace then we aren't a good fit. (this one I find particularly amusing but sad because it typically is code for; if you are a true repentant Christ-follower and require other Christians to do the same, then you are legalistic.)


I could write so much more, but I wanted to get the conversation started and gain perspective from other men and women if they are experiencing the same thing from men on Christian dating sites?


Many blessings,

E6W
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,938
1,609
113
48
#3
OP, I agree with you. As an example, the phrase "spiritual but not religious" is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,295
9,340
113
#4
I have never had a desire to get on a dating site, but I'm going to take a shot-in-the-dark guess here... the word "Pharisee" gets thrown around a lot in these, right? :giggle:

I just wonder if some of the return fire uses the term "Delilah." I'm almost certain there are "Jezebels" in the repartee. :whistle:
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#5
As far as "not going to church" there is validity in their reasoning. Churches have largely become motivated by filling the pews with unsaved rather than providing a sanctuary for believers to learn and fellowship. The messages are typically shallow and watered down if not nothing but salvation calls.

The other two reasons posted have to be qualified with what you claim is the real motive. But how do we know your claim of ones motive is right? Laying blanket statements over others words does not convince me that these people are less Christian, rather it makes me look at you and wonder how you feel so qualified to speak for strangers motives and heart.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,086
10,649
113
#6
My impression is that these three are being honest about what they are not looking for. I may or may not agree, esp the Church issue, but at least they're putting it out there. They sound concerned about someone judging them and that would make me wonder why they would have to specify that.
The thing is at least someone knows where they stand, right? If they feel this way then it's good to know. Someone last summer was raving about E-Harmony and found her hubby there (a blended family situation). They are Christians, so it can happen.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#7
Of course, there are those who say they are 'Christian' but do not live the lifestyle of a believer of Christ.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#8
Of course, there are those who say they are 'Christian' but do not live the lifestyle of a believer of Christ.
No one is saying there isn't. But labeling groups of strangers as non-Christian and presuming to know their motives and hearts because of a line or two is much more than acknowledging that not everyone who uses the title lives it.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
#9
We ALL fall short of His glory. Tread carefully... make sure they are equally yoked and find someone who wants to grow with you in the Lord.
 

E6Warrior

New member
Feb 10, 2019
14
14
3
USA
www.biblicallycorrect.biz
#11
I have never had a desire to get on a dating site, but I'm going to take a shot-in-the-dark guess here... the word "Pharisee" gets thrown around a lot in these, right? :giggle:

I just wonder if some of the return fire uses the term "Delilah." I'm almost certain there are "Jezebels" in the repartee. :whistle:


Yep, you're right... Pharisee is one of the catch phrases thrown around.
 

E6Warrior

New member
Feb 10, 2019
14
14
3
USA
www.biblicallycorrect.biz
#12
As far as "not going to church" there is validity in their reasoning. Churches have largely become motivated by filling the pews with unsaved rather than providing a sanctuary for believers to learn and fellowship. The messages are typically shallow and watered down if not nothing but salvation calls.

The other two reasons posted have to be qualified with what you claim is the real motive. But how do we know your claim of ones motive is right? Laying blanket statements over others words does not convince me that these people are less Christian, rather it makes me look at you and wonder how you feel so qualified to speak for strangers motives and heart.

My view is this, no matter what sinners or unsaved people are in the church, the commandment is to not forsake the assembly of the church. It's not predicated on whether there's are hypocrites their, watered-down messages or otherwise. The church is where we're supposed to be fed, support one another and grow. So, I don't presume to know someone motives perse' but I've been around long enough to know that a statement like this and conscious disobedience to God's word is code for, "I want to do my own thing."
 

E6Warrior

New member
Feb 10, 2019
14
14
3
USA
www.biblicallycorrect.biz
#13
No one is saying there isn't. But labeling groups of strangers as non-Christian and presuming to know their motives and hearts because of a line or two is much more than acknowledging that not everyone who uses the title lives it.

Wait, how labelled people on dating sites as "Non-Christians?" If you read my post, it clearly states and points towards the topic of "Christian dating site."so the presumption is that they are Christians looking for other like-minded, equally yoked believers. I've also noticed that your critiques seem to be in support of the Ï want to do my own thing" category, notwithstanding the presumptions you've made of me. Just think about that for a moment.
 

ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
#14
To the OP, what dating sites have you been on just out of curiosity? Most of my own experience has been on eHarmony (albeit not a Christian dating site), and I have come across many women who are church-attending, Bible-believing Christians. I would say, though, that I think your definition of "liberal" is a little off. To me, when someone says they don't attend church, whether or not I would consider them "liberal" really depends on what their reasoning is. As far as someone saying they would rather not be with a judgmental or legalistic Christian, I personally would just wonder what kind of poor experience they have had that would cause them to make that statement. There are many Christians who are unnecessarily judgmental, legalistic, and Pharasaic, so I don't think their concern is invalid.

Also, I think it's just worth pointing out that just because someone is on a Christian dating site does not mean they are even claiming to be a Christian. You can't really know where someone is at spiritually unless you get to know them.

As far as "not going to church" there is validity in their reasoning. Churches have largely become motivated by filling the pews with unsaved rather than providing a sanctuary for believers to learn and fellowship. The messages are typically shallow and watered down if not nothing but salvation calls.
I know I am helping dig a rabbit hole off of the main topic here, but I did want to point out that I do think you may be painting with too broad a brush here only because in my adult life I have attended five different churches (all were different denominations and even differed in theological persuasion) for several months minimum, and what you are describing wasn't the case for any of them. With that said, I would never write someone off or question their faith because they don't go to church for a certain period of time. There are all sorts of valid reasons why they might not. I would disagree with someone saying, though, that attending church is not necessary for Christians.

The other two reasons posted have to be qualified with what you claim is the real motive. But how do we know your claim of ones motive is right? Laying blanket statements over others words does not convince me that these people are less Christian, rather it makes me look at you and wonder how you feel so qualified to speak for strangers motives and heart.
100% agree with this. It's actually one of the reasons I'm not a huge fan of dating sites. You might get 10 new matches a day, but you can't get to know 10 new people every day, so you are forced to weed people out, which means you are forced to make judgments based on pretty limited information. I think you would have to actually get to know the person and have a conversation with them on the topic before you could gauge whether or not their heart is in the wrong place, and more times than not, I would doubt that it is.
 

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
468
83
#16
OP, I have no idea what is going on the dating sites, but I am not surprised at all in what you say. And isn't it a sad comment on how the world has invaded the church that you needed to make a disclaimer, even here, about people not getting after you for your comments. Sad.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,583
9,099
113
#17
Is that so? I did not notice.
There is DEFINITELY a hierarchy of political correctness, or identity politics that rule the culture we are in. It doesn't mean all believe in it, or that it is associated with True Christians, but on a secular level it is absolutely true.

I'll likely leave out a group or two but you'll get the picture:

1. POC transgendered male or female.
2. White transgendered male or female.
3. POC homosexual female
4. POC homosexual male
5. White homosexual female
6. White homosexual male
7. Single, non Christian POC female
8. TIE - Single, non Christian POC male, or white female
9. Married non Christian POC female
10. TIE - Married non Christian POC male or white female
11. Single, Non Christian white male
12. Christians that identify as leftist or Democrat
13. Single, politically unaffiliated, Christians.
14. Married, politically unaffiliated, Christians
15. Single, White conservative or Republican, Christian
16. White, married, conservative or Republican, Christians.
The media and culture reserve their greatest contempt and hatred for,
17. Single POC, conservative or Republican.
18. Married POC, conservative or Republican.

The last 2 they view as a betrayal to their leftist marxism ideology.

This is how the left, which controls the media, the schools, and the culture divide and aportion people.

As Christians we must renounce this hierarchy and love each other.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#18
To the OP, what dating sites have you been on just out of curiosity? Most of my own experience has been on eHarmony (albeit not a Christian dating site), and I have come across many women who are church-attending, Bible-believing Christians. I would say, though, that I think your definition of "liberal" is a little off. To me, when someone says they don't attend church, whether or not I would consider them "liberal" really depends on what their reasoning is. As far as someone saying they would rather not be with a judgmental or legalistic Christian, I personally would just wonder what kind of poor experience they have had that would cause them to make that statement. There are many Christians who are unnecessarily judgmental, legalistic, and Pharasaic, so I don't think their concern is invalid.

Also, I think it's just worth pointing out that just because someone is on a Christian dating site does not mean they are even claiming to be a Christian. You can't really know where someone is at spiritually unless you get to know them.


I know I am helping dig a rabbit hole off of the main topic here, but I did want to point out that I do think you may be painting with too broad a brush here only because in my adult life I have attended five different churches (all were different denominations and even differed in theological persuasion) for several months minimum, and what you are describing wasn't the case for any of them. With that said, I would never write someone off or question their faith because they don't go to church for a certain period of time. There are all sorts of valid reasons why they might not. I would disagree with someone saying, though, that attending church is not necessary for Christians.



100% agree with this. It's actually one of the reasons I'm not a huge fan of dating sites. You might get 10 new matches a day, but you can't get to know 10 new people every day, so you are forced to weed people out, which means you are forced to make judgments based on pretty limited information. I think you would have to actually get to know the person and have a conversation with them on the topic before you could gauge whether or not their heart is in the wrong place, and more times than not, I would doubt that it is.
I used 'largely' purposefully as a limiter. I'm aware not all churches are like this, but there are an exceedingly large number that are.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,058
3,172
113
#19
My view is this, no matter what sinners or unsaved people are in the church, the commandment is to not forsake the assembly of the church. It's not predicated on whether there's are hypocrites their, watered-down messages or otherwise. The church is where we're supposed to be fed, support one another and grow. So, I don't presume to know someone motives perse' but I've been around long enough to know that a statement like this and conscious disobedience to God's word is code for, "I want to do my own thing."
"I don't claim to know their motives, but i know if they use this line, what their motive is". Great contradiction.

And if a church has no real message and is filled with unbelievers how can one go to be fed and grow? The purpose of church is a congregation of believers to grown, be fed and support. If there aren't many believers and no growth or teaching is it really, then, disobedience?
And i've been around long enough to know there are always people ready to judge people by a single sentence who believe in their own wisdom to think personal interaction isn't need. Always that one around barking instructions at how everyone else is supposed to live.