Forgiveness

There is a lot of things said about forgiveness and how it is good for you. What exactly though is true forgiveness? How do you know when you have truly forgiven someone from the heart?

Good question!

In my view, forgiveness begins with recognizing that a wrong has been done, a sin committed, a trust breached, and considering the effect that offense has on you. It involves giving over to God all punishment, retribution, vengeance, and "getting even". All that is laid on Christ, Who took the penalty for all sin. Forgiveness is made complete in the heart when one chooses not to rehash the offense but instead repeatedly takes it to the cross. In a nutshell, it is choosing to consider the offense fully "dealt with" in Christ.

Which all sounds very nice until you have to do it.

Forgiveness is not restoration of relationship, it is not choosing to forget the offense ever happened, and it's definitely not putting the issue in storage until you need ammunition against the offender.

forgive so you can be forgiven amen

I believe its when you can't remember the wrong.

The OP raises a point about forgiveness and how it runs counter to our built-in psyches. It does take real faith to completely let God handle things His way, but it is not optional. In fact, it could hinder our prayer life and cost us any and all deliverance from God. Jesus said: Mark 11:25 "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." Hate only hurts the hater.

The way of Christianity is not seeking your own will but the will of God. It has built-in chances for abuse. If we are really obeying God, we can be taken advantage of. It will happen and we must let it go for God should be keeping track, not us. Try to stop short of being doormats if possible, that just enables the users. But still, it is God the sets the boundaries and it doesn't have to be to our liking. Look at it like this, they are taking advantage of God not you.

When we forgive, we don't do it for them, we do it for us and because Jesus commanded us to do so 70x7

Forgiving is relying on the Holy Spirit to learn to Love: to suffer the loss, to die with Jesus and walk by His Spirit to the Resurrection. Not referring to someone stepping on your toes here. But for some that's a big thing and whatever it is that you need God to walk with you as you walk with him, in "Faith that works by Love; knowing Him as a friend and not loving your life to fear death. If you are thinking how do I do that, only the Holy Spirit can lead you there, you cant learn this from men and you need to learn humility of the Lord first, "Let us go on to perfection, and this we will do if God permits."

I believe true forgiveness is finding no contempt in your thoughts and heart for that person.
To weigh out the offense on truly why it was offensive. Sometimes the truth about yourself can be offensive.
Many get offence and violation in the same category.....not so in my understanding. That is why many people struggle with this issue.

You will know.