I never said be passive, I simply said allow God to bring you the person who he made for you, rather than making your focus on finding that person. The moment that happens, even if unintentional, parts of our focus drift from God. We are to first seek God above all things. I'm not saying to sit back and expect God to do the courting, I'm simply stating we should avoid spending our time seeking the person God has for us, rather than focusing on our relationship with him. I've found I've made great and long lasting friendships when I finally put all things in my life in God's hands. By focusing on him, those around me saw that, and we became strong friends. Of course it wasn't God having coffee with them and talking about our experiences, I'm not saying that, I'm simply reaffirming what you yourself said in that God should always be the focus.