I had an issue with a family member. But in our case, there's no bible verse involved LOL.
Both of us know enough not to include the holy scriptures in our squabble.
Our fight was so intense even my parents felt the heat. I unfriended this person on FB, as well as blocked on my phone.
This person's spouse can always contact me though, that line is always open.
The one frustrating thing to me was the fact that this person doesn't understand what they did was wrong! the family that surrounds us get it, they even tried to tell this person why I was so angry but there's that level of understanding and this person has none.
It's like this person lives in another dimension while we live in a normal world. They just don't get it!
That used to really anger me when I think about it and it stressed me so much. I used to just let this person bully me, I guess u could say. Other people can't bully me but this family member can and did even with my siblings. But every person has a limit and in order for them to stop you have to stand your ground. I still have that love for this family member even when I intentionally distanced myself.
This is already self preservation for me. With all the personal problems I had, I can't add anymore and I was crying to my dad about that. I'm close to my dad than my mom and when I tell what's happening in my life and felt bad about something, it's always my dad.
My mom's cool too but my dad is very understanding and logical.
My dad was also concerned about our feud because it's been way too long but he understood when I finally broke down and told him everything and how I felt. You know the saying, 'too much familiarity breeds contempt'? well, that pretty much says it.
It's been a couple of years and my decision to distance myself and give this person total silence paid off.
We had that so called truce that I enforced. Now, our argument is no longer a big deal and while we may have that coolness between us, there's that, 'Hi, how ya doing?' and 'hope your well' kinda thing. We are no longer close and that's okay with me.
I can't take any more craziness in my life, I'm more than enough
I read the others who commented here and I agree with most of them. You can't change a person. That's not your job. If they are incapable of understanding and admitting they made a mistake that has nothing to do with you.
It's all about their fragile ego and the fact that they had to be right every time. They have this warped perception of reality and nothing you can do and say will change it. You and everybody else is wrong and she is right.
You can pray for them and you can pray for yourself too. For patience.
For you to remove the toxic in your life, that's not a bad thing.
Your aunt's husband has been run over many times over the years he probably lost count. And she wanted you to be the same. To just say, 'yes, yes, I agree'. She included your father in the mix to make sure you feel the heat, so he's worried too. My advise is, if you haven't already, talk to your dad and explain to him why this is your decision and why you just can't acquiesce to this woman's demand every time. Distance yourself from this toxic person and apply the code of silence. Works every time. If you don't say anything, there's no rebuttal, no misunderstanding no going round round the same issue again.
You just need to have that self control not to break your code of silence. With that kind of person, she'll do anything to make you break it so you'll say something bad and then she'll say , 'See!! you're a horrible person'. Or something like that.
Pray you don't.
I hope your family will understand where you're coming from and accept your decision, whatever it is. Good luck!
Both of us know enough not to include the holy scriptures in our squabble.
Our fight was so intense even my parents felt the heat. I unfriended this person on FB, as well as blocked on my phone.
This person's spouse can always contact me though, that line is always open.
The one frustrating thing to me was the fact that this person doesn't understand what they did was wrong! the family that surrounds us get it, they even tried to tell this person why I was so angry but there's that level of understanding and this person has none.
It's like this person lives in another dimension while we live in a normal world. They just don't get it!
That used to really anger me when I think about it and it stressed me so much. I used to just let this person bully me, I guess u could say. Other people can't bully me but this family member can and did even with my siblings. But every person has a limit and in order for them to stop you have to stand your ground. I still have that love for this family member even when I intentionally distanced myself.
This is already self preservation for me. With all the personal problems I had, I can't add anymore and I was crying to my dad about that. I'm close to my dad than my mom and when I tell what's happening in my life and felt bad about something, it's always my dad.
My mom's cool too but my dad is very understanding and logical.
My dad was also concerned about our feud because it's been way too long but he understood when I finally broke down and told him everything and how I felt. You know the saying, 'too much familiarity breeds contempt'? well, that pretty much says it.
It's been a couple of years and my decision to distance myself and give this person total silence paid off.
We had that so called truce that I enforced. Now, our argument is no longer a big deal and while we may have that coolness between us, there's that, 'Hi, how ya doing?' and 'hope your well' kinda thing. We are no longer close and that's okay with me.
I can't take any more craziness in my life, I'm more than enough
I read the others who commented here and I agree with most of them. You can't change a person. That's not your job. If they are incapable of understanding and admitting they made a mistake that has nothing to do with you.
It's all about their fragile ego and the fact that they had to be right every time. They have this warped perception of reality and nothing you can do and say will change it. You and everybody else is wrong and she is right.
You can pray for them and you can pray for yourself too. For patience.
For you to remove the toxic in your life, that's not a bad thing.
Your aunt's husband has been run over many times over the years he probably lost count. And she wanted you to be the same. To just say, 'yes, yes, I agree'. She included your father in the mix to make sure you feel the heat, so he's worried too. My advise is, if you haven't already, talk to your dad and explain to him why this is your decision and why you just can't acquiesce to this woman's demand every time. Distance yourself from this toxic person and apply the code of silence. Works every time. If you don't say anything, there's no rebuttal, no misunderstanding no going round round the same issue again.
You just need to have that self control not to break your code of silence. With that kind of person, she'll do anything to make you break it so you'll say something bad and then she'll say , 'See!! you're a horrible person'. Or something like that.
Pray you don't.
I hope your family will understand where you're coming from and accept your decision, whatever it is. Good luck!
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