Funny stories in the Bible

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obedienttogod

Guest
#41
#41
Tower of Babel:

Everyone is kind of like how you can view the upper room in one accord. They are getting along great, working side by side together, focused on the same goal and purpose, just the perfect example of how we all should be in God (for the right purpose).

Then suddenly, they look at each other and cannot speak and understand one another. It makes them so frustrated, they just quit and walk away leaving the tower incomplete.

That had to be amusing if you were watching the best team effort you could ever want to see, and then suddenly for no apparent reason at all, it goes down the toilet and everything becomes utter chaos.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#42
Dec 15, 2018
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#42
Paul trying to explain sin in Romans 6:15-24

Oh man, that what I do I do not I hate what I do..

Esp verse 15

For that which I do I allow not; for what I would, I do not; but what I hate, that do I

Yep basically Paul are you saying the things You do you dont allow, The things your supposed to do you dont do, and the things you hate to do, you do.

Right?

Sounds like working for the man again and everyone whos ever hated their job but has to do it anyway.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#43
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#43
Another story..day of Pentecost, the holy spirit comes, everyone starts speaking in tongues mangnifying God, those not given the gift mock them and think they are drunk. PEter speaks up and say they cant be, its only 9 oclock in the morning. Lol.
 
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TheLearner

Well-known member
#44
Jan 14, 2019
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Brighton, MI
#44
Proof no marriage in heaven,

Revelation 8:1 When He opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#45
Dec 15, 2018
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#45
When the Bible, or rather Paul writes to Titus and says Cretians are always liars.
I can just imagine a Cretian disputing that and saying they are not liars.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#46
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#46
Some other funny stories

Ruths courtship of Boaz....or rather her mother in law putting her up to it. Boaz getting cold feet.

Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding in Canna even when Mary his mother is kind of bossing him to do a miracle. Its like Jesus! We have a problem! Come fix it!

Paul preaching till past midnight and people falling asleep...and out the window.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#47
Dec 15, 2018
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#47
Another one. After the resurrection Mary wants Jesus to tell him where his body is.
Course, she mistakes him for the gardener, but always thought it was funny she asks him where he is when hes right in front of her.
 
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reneweddaybyday

Senior Member
#48
Mar 23, 2016
7,021
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#48
How about Naaman, captain of the host of the king of Syria, a mighty man of valour?

Naaman was a leper.

His wife's maid was an Israelite captive and told her mistress that Naaman could be healed if he would go see the prophet in Samaria.

So Naaman went to see Elisha. Elisha sent his servant, Gahazi, out to meet Naaman and tell him to go wash seven times in the Jordan river.

Naaman was po'd because Elisha didn't come out himself. Then Naaman complained because he thought a couple of rivers in Syria were better than all the waters in Israel.

Now that's funny!!! :LOL:


Naaman's servants reasoned with him and got him to go down to Jordan and wash himself seven times and he was healed.

Naaman then returned to Elisha and praised the God of Israel and offered payment to Elisha. Elisha refused to accept payment even after Naaman urged him to take it.

So Naaman left and went back to Syria. He was a changed man and said he would not offer sacrifice to any other gods, but to the Lord.

Now that's great!!! :D


Then Gahazi went after Naaman and lied to Naaman. Gahazi told him that Elisha sent him and asked for payment (a talent of silver and two changes of garments). Naaman gave Gahazi two talents of silver and two changes of garments.

When Gahazi next saw Elisha, Elisha asked him where he had been. Gahazi lied and told Elisha he hadn't gone anywhere, but God had revealed to Elisha that Gahazi had gone out and received payment from Naaman.

Gahazi was then burdened with the leprosy of Naaman.

Now that's sad!!! :cry:


Read the record HERE.



 
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Locoponydirtman

Guest
#49
#49
Everyone likes to bag on Peter as if he failed in some way we don't. So Peter made some errors, but he is the only one to walked on water with Jesus. He was the only one who got it who Jesus is at the time. He also preached pentecost. I love Peter for his heart and his heroism, and his willingness to go to the ropes; even if he did fall short some times. He did better than any of us can claim.
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#50
Jul 31, 2013
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#50
Locoponydirtman said:
He was the only one who got it who Jesus is at the time.
Click to expand...
well..

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.​
(John 21:7) ​
 
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TM19782017

Active member
#51
Dec 15, 2018
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#51
How Adam knew within that the one he was looking for was right in front of him and he needed no outside proof to confirm it.
He knew within, just an inner sense.....No one told him she came from man but he knew it.

Why is that funny? Because I have been one to also look for outside confirmation for what I believe.....Sometimes our inner belief can make no sense to others and we risk being viewed as totally off our rocker but sticking to our guns is why it is funny.

Imagine Adam in 2019,........actually saying, THIS is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh without actually investigating who she was?
Almost every girl would run except the correct one.
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#52
Jul 31, 2013
37,788
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#52
posthuman said:
well..

Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.​
(John 21:7) ​
Click to expand...
on the subject of John & Peter, there seems to be a little friendly rivalry behind the scenes.. i mean, not only was it recorded that John realized it was Christ on the shore in John 21 before Peter did, but John was also inspired to include this detail:

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ​
Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.​
(John 20:3-4)​

:LOL:
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#53
Jul 31, 2013
37,788
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#53
TM19782017 said:
How Adam knew within that the one he was looking for was right in front of him and he needed no outside proof to confirm it.
He knew within, just an inner sense.....No one told him she came from man but he knew it.

Why is that funny? Because I have been one to also look for outside confirmation for what I believe.....Sometimes our inner belief can make no sense to others and we risk being viewed as totally off our rocker but sticking to our guns is why it is funny.

Imagine Adam in 2019,........actually saying, THIS is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh without actually investigating who she was?
Almost every girl would run except the correct one.
Click to expand...
you don't think God let him know what He was doing / had done?

it's not like Adam had ever seen another girl before - there had never even been one that existed!
 
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TM19782017

Active member
#54
Dec 15, 2018
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#54
posthuman said:
you don't think God let him know what He was doing / had done?

it's not like Adam had ever seen another girl before - there had never even been one that existed!
Click to expand...
Can you imagine Adam looking at a naked woman tempting a man? A man's mind can lose thought if he allows it.

Also remember, the woman did say, (NIV) "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden"

We implies 2
 
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Stranger36147

Guest
#55
#55
You know....two things I find funny are:


All human beings, whether male or female, are born from women. But according to the book of Genesis, the first woman was born from a man.


Also....she wasn't formed in his stomach. She was formed from his rib!


So yeah, those things seem funny to me. But I'm aware I might be alone in finding those things funny. But that's okay. :)
 
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TM19782017

Active member
#56
Dec 15, 2018
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158
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#56
Stranger36147 said:
You know....two things I find funny are:


All human beings, whether male or female, are born from women. But according to the book of Genesis, the first woman was born from a man.


Also....she wasn't formed in his stomach. She was formed from his rib!


So yeah, those things seem funny to me. But I'm aware I might be alone in finding those things funny. But that's okay. :)
Click to expand...
I am with you!!!! *Truth is funnier that fiction* :)
 
K

KnowMe

Guest
#58
#58
Lanolin said:
Another Martha story when Lazarus is dead for four days and Jesus wants to open the tomb but Martha ever so practical and clean says he will stink.

I mean Jesus is going to raise Lazarus from the dead and all Martha can think about is her propriety. Jesus tells her hes doing this so people will believe and see the glory of God.
I dont know if Martha held her nose as Lazarus came out...it doesnt say. Maybe some angels quickly gave the tomb a bit of air freshening spray before he came out.

Later we learn Mary gives Jesus a bottle of perfume. Maybe Martha suggested this gift as a kind of not so subtle way of saying Lord you smell. Well Jesus did say thank you and that this was for his burial so maybe he took note.

Do you think we will be able not only to see the glory of God but to smell him? Now I might be reading a bit more into the Bible than what is there but just find it so funny. Lol
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Seems of a mockery than a funny bible story, I don’t see nothing funny about it Jesus cried because Lazarus had died.
 
J

jaybird88

Guest
#59
#59
Matthew 18:17
If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

treat them like those at the lowest level of society such as a pagan, who worships demons, practice human sacrifice, indulge in cannibalism, and throw children in the fire.

or tax collectors!
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#60
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#60
Woe to the scribes and pharisees and lawyers!

I think its funny about the lawyers as most people after finishing law school dont even want to be lawyers. Because many lawyers have aspirations to be politicans but they just end up being tax collectors.

From what I've observed.
 
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