Lack of Compassion - Lack of Sensitivity - at times Heartless - Prideful - Spiteful - --just to name a few.
I honestly believe had Paul knew me, he would had wrote that I was the chief of sinners.
Don't get me wrong, I help as many as I can, I give until it hurts. I would go above and beyond for those I know and also for complete strangers. Even when I am done wrong, I try to immediately go to God and forgive them.
And then there are those moments when my tongue is literally like a 2 edged sword. I can become focused utilizing my quick wit to carve up whomever. If I am not careful, it will lead to being cocky. And being challenged is just like the red light turning green, it's on.
It's getting much better. Having to go to people and admit I am an idiot while seeking their forgiveness sure has helped in many ways.
My minister buddies tell me my truest calling is to be on the front line during spiritual warfare. They say I am the perfect Tribulation Christian and want to be by my side when it takes place. Growing up and being able to witness demons being cast out of people excited me, seeing the demons lose. Just being there praying, rebuking, standing firm in the complete faith of God was electrifying. Helping innocent people become free from being bounded by the power of evil and then led to God was amazingly fulfilling.
And then after being a part of something so amazing, could turn around days/weeks later and be the biggest moron on planet earth.
God has brought me a long way, but at times, it appears the end of my stupidity has no ending in sight