Feeling under attack and feeling like I have nothing more to live for

Really needing urgent prayers for myself. I have been going through a horrible time mentally. I have been getting tormented by my own thoughts of past bad memories and thoughts. I do not want to go in details but I’m feeling like I have no reason to live and I don’t know who I am. I’ve been having some mild thoughts of harming myself. I have a lot of regret and pinned up anger in my heart. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m feeling like I’m at the end of my rope. It’d take me way too long to explain but please keep me in your prayers. I feel like I’m on a cliff getting ready to jump off. I feel defeated. I don’t have anyone close to me that I can talk to about how I’ve been feeling and thinking and it’s scary. I really do feel alone.

Love for you, prayers ..... And salutations. Breathe take a step back, we love you, and the Lord loves you more.
I know, it's tough, it sucks, things get out a control.
we lose ourselves, you are not alone.

This is a good place, loving brothers and sisters in Christ.

I won't tell you to buck up, I say live the pain while it lasts, cry, let the tears fall but don't let this destroy your faith.
Just stay afloat, till u can swim.

You quickly need to change your train of thought. All the negative stuff is from the enemy and you need to start watching Christian TV or listening to good messages. A good lesson I was given by the Lord recently is that we cannot go back and keep reliving the past bc it is gone and thinking about past hurtful things does no good. After one of my doxies past, I kept reliving his ordeal. God sent the Comforter to me w/a msg that said, 'he's in heaven having a wonderful time, would he want to go back and relive that sad time?'. That healed me from looking back at anything sad. If you can, do volunteer work that helps. 'Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ' 2 Cor 10:5-7. May God open your Spiritual ears to His love which overcame the world.

We will sure pray for you Gemmy! Lots of Christians have gone through things similar to this, even Charles Spurgeon.

It's going to be OK Gemmy. Remember that feelings are TEMPORARY. God's Truth is eternal, and His Truth is YOU are greatly loved by your Father in Heaven, and your brothers and sisters in Him.

Don't let the evil one have his way. He wants you to think about past hurts and sins. Your Father wants you to think about a present and a future with Him.

Dear Father. Let Your little girl feel Your Presence in an unmistakable way THIS night. Give her the joy in the knowledge of You that will fill her heart and mind with Your goodness. Let her get a peaceful night's sleep, and awake refreshed and renewed to do Your Will by not fearing, and rejecting the lies of the enemy. Then use her to help others, focusing on You and them, and not on any painful past. I pray this in Your Son, Jesus Christ's sweet Name.

Hi Gemmy,

I saw your post and created an account specifically to respond to you. I know how it feels to be alone and, more importantly, so does Jesus. He spoke this to his disciples not long before his crucifixion, as recorded in John chapter 16: "[32] Behold, the hour is coming, indeed it has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home, and will leave me alone. Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. [33] I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

The Father is with me,
Eternal Fire

Gemmy...why are you allowing the devil take you down this rabbit hole again? You have come such a long way. Did you let down your guard and let him have a foothold again?
Remember that he can only have what you give him. He can't defeat you because He is already defeated and you are a child of God. We all can get sidetracked and take our eyes off Jesus. Rebuke these feelings in the name of Jesus Christ. Surround yourself with worship music, spend alone time with Him in prayer, read the Word. Immurse yourself in His holiness and remember the love He has for you and the power He gives to weild against the enemy. Put on the full armor. Praying for you!

Gemmy, I'm just in Xenia. Message me if you wanna meet over coffee. I'd be happy to pray with you.

I’m so sorry you’re going through such hard times, Gemmy. I’m praying, asking God to surround you with His infinite love, intervene in your circumstances in a powerful way and provide help. May He comfort you and fill you with His peace which surpasses all human understanding as you lean upon His grace.

Hey my sister? Good to know you! Much love in Christ Jesus. Find a place and lay down and start to talk to Jesus, first thing you have to do is get the voice of the devil out of your head!

We don't have to know exactly what it is because we've all been through it! Be still and know He is God!😍

Gemmy well done for coming here and sharing this. The darkest part of the night cones before dawn. Remember instead, times last, when you have been counting on to your faith and began to doubt God, how He rescued you by showing you your thinking was in error and lifted the blackness. Cling on to that and wait patiently for Him.

Lord bless Gemmy and this prayer, give a victorious and blessed life. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

Dear Gemmy, that devil is a liar and is an accuser. Please don’t listen, and put your shield up against these attacks cos The Shield of Faith has a purpose. It works!

You are worth than many sparrows you know! Jesus loves you, and you’re not alone even if it feels like it.

You have a friend for life now in Christ Jesus, and a new identity!!! You’re not alone in this.

It’s a battle for sure. We can’t overcome by our own strength, we have to draw in close to Jesus, remember The Cross.. The resurrection power, it’s purpose, He came to bring us Life, to lead us into Liberty and Love. Forgiveness, a new purpose in life, it’s just hard at times when things come at us from all directions, and the enemy is chucking a load of crap at us and getting us down, but we must listen and follow The One who has the Words of Eternal Life, seeking His face, and counsel. In His strength we can get through every valley. In His strength we overcome the hard times.

We can be honest with our Father and our Saviour Jesus Gemmy, even if we’re angry.. He can take it, He can take our anger, heck He knows anyway so it’s better to take it all to God and tell Him what’s happening and what we’re angry or upset about rather than try to cope with it ourselves. I’ve felt anger, still do sometimes, but every time it comes back, I know now to get on my knees, cry out to God. Go boldly to The Throne.. remember the Cross, consider Jesus’ body, seek godly counsel.

.... do you have the ability to go on a Christian retreat, for a rest and some prayer with good Christian women who are trained to counsel you in your need? Who will pray with you, leading you to Jesus. Sometime places have a space for free depending on the need and if finances are a barrier to receiving this type of ministry.

Same with Christian counsellors, they could help you so much... there is help out there.. in the body of Christ. We all need Support sometimes. Seasons.... (((again, the good counsellors and ministers point you to Jesus Christ)))

Please don’t let the enemy drag you down, heck don’t let no one drag you down girl! May His Holy Spirit comfort you, help you and lead you.. may Truth replace these attacks and the attacks fade away. God bless you.

Keep the faith hold on, listen to words of life.. sorry if I went on a bit, just wanted to encourage you. I’ll be thinking of you, I know the struggle, it’s hard sometimes, sometimes even looks impossible but its possible to overcome and you have Hope and a future with Jesus with you to help you and you’ll get stronger with Him, in Him, through Him, with His help. Keep on keeping on with Him. Don’t let go of Jesus. Praying for you, for Jesus to take your hand and lead you into liberty, hope, peace, abundance of life, confidence, assurance of forgiveness, strength, peace of heard & mind, comfort and to a good sound trustworthy, reliable friend.

Sad to see that you are feeling low today. I do not have much experience with feeling depressed but life has thrown me a few trials due to my own sin and behavior. God has been faithful all my days. Going through the fire as we chat now but God is protecting me from the flames. It is well with my soul and I thank him for being faithful even when I am not. His word and bein still in his presence is my only hope!

Gemmy, my therapist had me physically taking out my anger on objects (crying, screaming, yelling, hitting my mattress with a baseball bat etc...) to help with depression. Growing up, I taught myself that anger is evil and that it should not be displayed at all on the outside , especially toward or against someone else, so I kept it suppressed for a long time . I grew up in an angry environment. But I was taught that perhaps Depression has some part in anger, or "depression is anger turned inward" is what my counselor said depression could probably be (along with spiritual influence).

So let the anger free on something that won't matter (like your bed/mattress) Take a baseball bat and go to the junkyard and hit cars, punching bags (even if you don't feel angry, do it anyway). This technique is not JUST for people who get angry/blow up easily and hurt people. It's also for people who suffer from suppressed emotions, suicide and depression - like you and I.

Love and hugs!

[Joshua said,] "For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God."
—Joshua 4:23-24

It's a good thing to have regrets Gemmy.. If we never had regrets we wouldn't be Christians. The Lord's servant in Mt.18:28 forgot about his regrets. Praying for you.

I thank you all for praying for me. While I don’t feel as bad as I did, I’m still waking up to more past memories, seems like new ones each day like my mind is purposely finding bad stuff so I can keep feeling down. Not even sure how I’ll shake this. I don’t really have the energy to pray. Not having the suicidal thoughts anymore, Morris just shame and regret. Still feels like I’m on autopilot but I’m glad they say, you can’t change the past.

Oh how I wish I knew I’d be affected like this, I would’ve done many things differently.