Confused

I am seeking advice. I've been dating my current boyfriend for 6 months and just recently found out that he used to date my niece from a family get together. It's the most awkward and uncomfortable. He's worried that I want to call it quits and give up what we have but I don't know how to deal with the situation as I know the fact will always remain with me. This is very heartbreaking.

Unless there was some major issue between them that would affect how you see him then why should it matter? That's the past. This is the present. Which will you live in?

It might help to know WHY it troubles you that he used to date your niece. Is there a large age discrepancy between him and her? Is your niece an unsavory sort of person, that you question his taste in dating her? Or does it just weird you out that he dated her, and now he's dating her aunt?

If you have to ask...and it bothers you enough to question the relationship...???
The past is the past. If you're really into him, then it really shouldn't bother you.
She shouldn't let it bother her either... if he makes you happy...and she loves you. she should be happy for you.
Life is short and if you find love, don't let go. ( Not over something like that. )

In the modern world, "dating" usually means "sex."

If you're dating a guy that had sex with your niece... that is a pretty huge mistake.
You will create a family disaster from which no one will ever recover.

To be honest, even if there was no sex... just dating a guy who used to date your niece will probably cause irreconcilable differences within the family. I recommend you protect the peace of the family, and just date someone else. If he's been intentionally hiding this secret from you for all this time, he doesn't sound so great anyway.

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Max does bring up a valid point. It is different if he intentionally kept this from you and it's definitely a bit different if there was and is sex involved. That is rather eww...

Pro 22:3 The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

The Bible tells us to be prudent; to look ahead for danger, and stay away from it.

If you see trouble ahead, and just walk straight into it... then you get what you get.


This is so important the book of Proverbs says it twice.

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Uh... maxwel you made multiple assumptions there that I don't see any basis for. Maybe we should be asking questions instead of assuming things like that.

Questions like:
"Did you ask him why he never mentioned he had dated your niece before?"
"Did they have sex while they were dating?"
"What does your niece think about him dating you now? For that matter, what did your niece think about the guy while they were dating?"

Of course those questions are not really any of our business. But it's also not really our business to assume the answers to those questions.

I can understand being bothered by this. But I have more questions than advice lol.

How long were they together? Were they close to getting engaged? Why did they break up? How long ago was their relationship?

You didn’t know about their relationship, which then leads me to believe that 1) you’re not close to your niece (emotionally or maybe in distance?) or 2) their relationship was a secret to everyone. If it’s the latter, then why was it a secret?

I don’t think any of us on the internet can give complete advice since we aren’t there to see all the details. Maybe a family member or a close friend can help you.

Is it weird that my first question was how young is your niece ? I know some aunte/nieces are similar in age , but my first thought was "I wonder if she was of a legal age ?"

Maybe just cause my niece is like 20 something years younger than me .

No, that's normal. People normally assume an aunt is at least more than a decade older than her niece, though they can be much closer in age or the niece could even be older than the aunt.

Mind you Pipp that is not proof that you are normal... but it's not proof you are weird either.

My oldest nephew is 21, but I get what you’re saying lol

This is actually hard and it is a very uncomfortable situation...


For me,If they slept together I would make a decision to let my boyfriend go...I would not want to be the girlfriend of someone who slept with my sister or with my niece...even if it happened in the past... But I know it is hard especially if you get attached emotionally to the person already...



I don't have a gooD advice for you sis...but i prayed for you...May God help you in making the right decision in your situation right now...


God bless you ❤

This.