What is a Godly marriage?

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Blik

Blik

Senior Member
#1
Dec 6, 2016
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#1
Genesis 2:24 outlines for us what a Godly marriage is, and by understanding that the relationship is filled with joy.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

When you are as one with your mate you would not harm them any more than you would harm yourself. Whatever problems you face would be solved holding the marriage as more important than the individuals that make up that marriage.

There would be no inlaw problem because each would think of the inlaw as their own parent. Each would give love and respect to the parent. Parents could not interfere with the marriage. The couple would understand that their marriage came before what in-laws wanted.

Any other problem would be solved by deciding what is best for the marriage without selfish thought. They could no more decide on something harmful to the other person than they would think of something harmful to themselves.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#2
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,778
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#2
Blik said:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
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This Scripture has an even higher significance as noted in Ephesians 5:31,32:
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Christian marriages are supposed to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. And there are ample instructions for both husbands and wives in the Bible.

What is generally missing is the insistence on all sides that those planning to marry have a solid grounding in what the Word teaches BEFORE they tie the knot, and that both parties are genuinely saved. Church leaders have generally failed in this, so now Christians are resorting to divorce, and imitating the world.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#3
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#3
Nehemiah6 said:
This Scripture has an even higher significance as noted in Ephesians 5:31,32:
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Christian marriages are supposed to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church. And there are ample instructions for both husbands and wives in the Bible.

What is generally missing is the insistence on all sides that those planning to marry have a solid grounding in what the Word teaches BEFORE they tie the knot, and that both parties are genuinely saved. Church leaders have generally failed in this, so now Christians are resorting to divorce, and imitating the world.
Click to expand...

You are blaming the church for your failures ??? WOW...
 
Blik

Blik

Senior Member
#4
Dec 6, 2016
7,312
2,428
113
#4
1christian1 said:
You are blaming the church for your failures ??? WOW...
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The church could be the moral leader of a community. Scripture illustrates for us keeping the church membership free of sexual immorality.

Many people think of the church as being evangelistic, but that is not what Jesus taught the church to be. It is for Saved Christians to get together to worship God. In that way they lead, for the community should be able to look to the church membership for moral leadership.

If you have had a sermon on Godly marriage in your church you have an outstanding church.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#5
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,778
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#5
1christian1 said:
You are blaming the church for your failures ??? WOW...
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Not *the church* or *my failures* but church leaderships across the board for failing Christians for a long time.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#6
#6
It is pretty sad that the divorce rates inside the church are similar to the divorce rates of the world. More teaching on what constitutes a good marriage, a good potential mate, warning signs to let ya know of they are a bad pick, but also what love actually is. Why chastity until marriage is so epically important. We, at least here in America, tend to marry the person who gives us a rise in our pants rather than waiting to see what their long term character is. Hormones are not love, that's twitterpated. Love is investment and time and effort to search a person's soul and to actively seek and do what is in a person's best interest. It's not about how we feel. we say we love someone because we feel good while they rub up on us and stroke our egos. We say we love because what we get from them most usually sexual arousal, and ego boost. Which does not last. What lasts is a resolve to seek God and make it last. Time and effort spent into the knowledge of needs and well being of the other and the reciprication of that effort and energy.
 
Blik

Blik

Senior Member
#7
Dec 6, 2016
7,312
2,428
113
#7
Locoponydirtman said:
It is pretty sad that the divorce rates inside the church are similar to the divorce rates of the world. More teaching on what constitutes a good marriage, a good potential mate, warning signs to let ya know of they are a bad pick, but also what love actually is. Why chastity until marriage is so epically important. We, at least here in America, tend to marry the person who gives us a rise in our pants rather than waiting to see what their long term character is. Hormones are not love, that's twitterpated. Love is investment and time and effort to search a person's soul and to actively seek and do what is in a person's best interest. It's not about how we feel. we say we love someone because we feel good while they rub up on us and stroke our egos. We say we love because what we get from them most usually sexual arousal, and ego boost. Which does not last. What lasts is a resolve to seek God and make it last. Time and effort spent into the knowledge of needs and well being of the other and the reciprication of that effort and energy.
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America's brand of Christianity is not working. Most Christians have no idea of the characteristics of the God who created them and runs their world. I don't think they trust their God, but see God as a war mongering, stone throwing untrustworthy enmity.

If they study scripture it is almost always the NT without first learning about God. They read about the rituals, the stone throwing, the wars without one bit of understanding. The NT is the outgrowth of the OT, the end of the story. Without learning the beginning and foundation the end can get quite tangled up. So even Christians have no idea how marriage was designed to work. Most don't even know about the creation of marriage.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#8
#8
Blik said:
America's brand of Christianity is not working. Most Christians have no idea of the characteristics of the God who created them and runs their world. I don't think they trust their God, but see God as a war mongering, stone throwing untrustworthy enmity.

If they study scripture it is almost always the NT without first learning about God. They read about the rituals, the stone throwing, the wars without one bit of understanding. The NT is the outgrowth of the OT, the end of the story. Without learning the beginning and foundation the end can get quite tangled up. So even Christians have no idea how marriage was designed to work. Most don't even know about the creation of marriage.
Click to expand...
There is a serious lack of teaching in many churches, however I for one am in a good solid sound teaching church. Even in my church there are those who take a lackadaisical approach to their spiritual life. Some show up on Sundays when they see fit and miss if they feel like it. We did a several months class on spiritual disciplines. Less than half showed up. The truth is there are people who place little to no value on spiritual matters. They don't know God and don't want to know him. They want to be seen at church and receive hugs and greetings. Then there are those who are doing the work praying, counseling, reaching out, teaching correcting, sincere. In the church I attend there are more sincere than pew warmers, but we still have pew warmers.
 
prove-all

prove-all

Senior Member
#9
May 16, 2014
5,977
400
83
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#9
Ephesians 5 boils this all down to one marvelous verse:
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence [respect, venerate, treat with deference]
her husband” (verse 33).

An insight into the deepest needs of men and women:
Women need love—men need respect.

When both the man’s needs and the woman’s needs are met,
a virtuous cycle begins.

A woman who is loved finds it far easier to show respect.
A man who is respected finds it far easier to show love.

When those needs are not met, the cycle turns vicious:

If a woman doesn’t receive love, she tends to withhold respect.
If a man doesn’t receive respect, he tends to withhold love.

This is the natural tendency, and when we give in to it,
marriages become a train wrecks.

Ephesians 5 does not say, Husbands, love her as long as she respects you,
or, Wives, reverence him as long as he shows love.

For this to work, husbands must love unconditionally;
wives must respect unconditionally.

A man must love his wife, even when she isn’t lovable.
He must govern his thoughts and actions toward love.

A wife must respect her husband even when he isn’t respectable. She must
govern her thoughts so as not just to show reverence, but to be reverent.

God’s ground rules for marriage are all about the way of give.
A man must give love to a woman.
A woman must give reverence and submission to a man.

A man must give godly leadership to a woman—leadership
that earns her respect and that is a joy to submit to.

And a woman must be a lovable woman,
to recognize, encourage and receive a man’s love.

This one verse is the world’s best marriage advice! If a husband and wife apply it,
they are guaranteed to solve and avoid countless misunderstandings and problems,
and build a harmonious marriage filled with respect and love!
 
GardenofWeeden

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
#10
Jul 27, 2018
411
370
63
The Garden of Weeden
#10
I was taught the marriage triangle. God is the head of the triangle and each spouse covers the other corners. The closer each spouse gets to God, the closer they naturally come to each other. If each spouse remains focused on God, their marriage will prosper.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#11
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#11
GardenofWeeden said:
I was taught the marriage triangle. God is the head of the triangle and each spouse covers the other corners. The closer each spouse gets to God, the closer they naturally come to each other. If each spouse remains focused on God, their marriage will prosper.
Click to expand...
I believe that two people become one at the inception of marriage...
 
Locutus

Locutus

Senior Member
#12
Feb 10, 2017
5,928
685
113
#12
Would getting a bride from one of those Russian dating websites be considered a googley marriage?

tongue.png
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#13
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,974
113
#13
God does not deviate in His Holy Commands for those whom He calls into an Holy marriage -

if one does 'not' obey and respect' His requirements, then, they will unfortunately receive
what they have sown - thus they must pay the price for their dis-obedience, which equals
an 'un-holy and ongoing 'farce/dis unity', it they continue in it...
which equals constant disharmony and dis-unity, which can only result in daily 'misery'...
 
Blik

Blik

Senior Member
#14
Dec 6, 2016
7,312
2,428
113
#14
prove-all said:
Ephesians 5 boils this all down to one marvelous verse:
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;
and the wife see that she reverence [respect, venerate, treat with deference]
her husband” (verse 33).

An insight into the deepest needs of men and women:
Women need love—men need respect.

When both the man’s needs and the woman’s needs are met,
a virtuous cycle begins.

A woman who is loved finds it far easier to show respect.
A man who is respected finds it far easier to show love.

When those needs are not met, the cycle turns vicious:

If a woman doesn’t receive love, she tends to withhold respect.
If a man doesn’t receive respect, he tends to withhold love.

This is the natural tendency, and when we give in to it,
marriages become a train wrecks.

Ephesians 5 does not say, Husbands, love her as long as she respects you,
or, Wives, reverence him as long as he shows love.

For this to work, husbands must love unconditionally;
wives must respect unconditionally.

A man must love his wife, even when she isn’t lovable.
He must govern his thoughts and actions toward love.

A wife must respect her husband even when he isn’t respectable. She must
govern her thoughts so as not just to show reverence, but to be reverent.

God’s ground rules for marriage are all about the way of give.
A man must give love to a woman.
A woman must give reverence and submission to a man.

A man must give godly leadership to a woman—leadership
that earns her respect and that is a joy to submit to.

And a woman must be a lovable woman,
to recognize, encourage and receive a man’s love.

This one verse is the world’s best marriage advice! If a husband and wife apply it,
they are guaranteed to solve and avoid countless misunderstandings and problems,
and build a harmonious marriage filled with respect and love!
Click to expand...
This person surely knows what he is speaking of. Here is an experience I had, and how I stopped the cycle he speaks of when my husband didn't feel respected.

I have some college but I surely could use more brains. My husband didn't even finish grade school but he sure isn't lacking brain power. We became one, things were going soooo smooth and oops, he decided (without telling me) that a college held brains and he didn't have any. His temper tantrums shook the house, and I felt I had to leave. First I went to a psychiatrist, letting him know I was broke and I had to have advice on the first visit. I had both our personalities, our background, accomplishments, and our problem down to a condensed but thorough short talk.

In response this guy leaned back in his chair and got out his pipe and said noooowww Mrs. --------, Your husband has done this, and this, and this yet he has no education. I'll bet you can talk rings around him. He is a pretty smart man or he couldn't have accomplish so much but I'll bet he is mixing up brains and education so he feels he is inferior to you. So first get across to him the truth of this.

Then I was to not tell him a word of what I thought if we had a problem until he was all talked out on it and I explained what I saw as his side and he agreed I understood. Only then could I speak.

Our problem was solved within a week.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#15
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
17,112
113
69
Tennessee
#15
Locutus said:
Would getting a bride from one of those Russian dating websites be considered a googley marriage?

View attachment 190909
Click to expand...
I got my bride from Christian Chat so I guess that qualifies as a googley marriage too. She's not Russian though but has made beef stroganoff at least once since we have been married. I think that is some type of Russian cousine or maybe it's Bulgarian. All I know is that it was a variety of Hamburger Helper. Speaking of food I scored two boxes of Stove Top stuffing from our local grocer this morning and also got a buy-one get-one free on brownie mixes and Lays Potato Chips. Nobody can eat just one.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
42,657
17,112
113
69
Tennessee
#16
Nehemiah6 said:
Not *the church* or *my failures* but church leaderships across the board for failing Christians for a long time.
Click to expand...
Ultimately, Christians fail themselves. I would be very leery of allowing church leadership to do my thinking for me and I am willing to accept the responsibility of my actions rather than blaming a perceived failed leadership in the church. There was a saying that Flip Wilson used to say on his TV show "The devil made me do it". That's not an acceptable reason for failure either.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#17
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#17
I have often wondered about many marriages failing in the church because people are unequally yoked, and that the ministers marrying them dont really thoroughly check if they are equal. I mean they can always say to a couple 'I dont think you ought to marry, or I wont marry you unless you pass this test' because marrying somebody doesnt mean they are a christian and it doesnt make anybody more of a christian if they get married. Not saying anyone should ban getting married but make it a bit more of a challenge or maybe we need more Godly matchmakers in church??

And then maybe a bit more support than a ok I will marry you and just say a few words at your ceremony.
I dont know, I dont really track the records of ministers but you kind of wonder if they keep a record of all the people they marry, and whether they last or get divorced years later, because you would think that a minister would be praying for the couple too (as well as their respective families) givng them adequate preparation and maybe just checking up on them every few years. Like hows your marriage going etc.

I dont know if this will work but i really wonder if some people are just marrying for the sake of marrying these days, plus theres no church classes on how to be a good wife, how to be a good husband, how to raise children, everyone is just focused on their careers and making money these days.

If Paul (who was single) had to write to the Ephesians giving advice on how families ought to behave it does show that people do need teaching of some of the principles of Godly marriage. Its not responsible to marry people off and then say ok you on your own now.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#18
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,778
113
#18
Lanolin said:
If Paul (who was single)
Click to expand...
It is entirely possible that Paul was a widower at the time of writing. Hebrew men did not generally remain single, since marriage was ordained by God.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#19
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#19
Theres no evidence that he was a widower, or he had any children?
What do you mean marriage was ordained by God? Did you mean God matches us up with people? Cos as far as I can tell He doesnt. Most men seem to just grab whoever they can get, for example, God doesnt tell people you are going to marry so and so, its entirely mens own choice. If you a woman you either accept that or refuse.

Although, its now the case that women go after the men.
 
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