How should I view this with my family?

I know I'm going to get at least 2 sides of the story if a few people reply. So I don't have doubts some people wouldn't start arguing somewhere down the road.

Still, this is a very important subject. I feel what I believe about this is right, but I'd like to discuss it.

First basic things to understand about me, I am a married man with one baby together. We live in a place with very cheap rent and yet a great house in good shape. I have a job that I work 12 hours a day for half the month. I make a few thousand a month. My bills add to around $550 including rent, power and car insurance. So with if I even made 2000 a month, after bills, I'd have around 1,450 for food, gas money (gas here is 1.92 today) and simple other things like shampoo, tooth paste and things that are not expensive.

My bank tells me I save hundreds a month average more than I spend.

Last night, I worked 12 hours, and that is on my feet on concrete floor- and as I got home, I couldn't eat from the pain in my teeth. I needed to see the dentist, but all of them are closed this weekend, we had appointments on my days of this week and the pain wasn't that bad until now. It hurt me so bad last night trying to lay down and sleep, that I didn't get a single minute of sleep. I still have 2 days of work ahead of me of those 12 hours, and I am worried I wont get sleep tonight either. I wonder if I will pass out at work, but I am sleep deprived already. Work is a bit dead, not much to do but you still cant sit down and relax. I questioned for some encouragement if I should ask my boss for a day off to see a dentist and get some sleep so in case I cant fall asleep soon enough tonight, I wont be so weak next day for work. But my family told me I need to go to work, forget the pain right now because I need the money. I look at my money, and we have everything we need. Not everything we want, but I am saying we won't roll over and die or go bankrupt anytime soon unless something literally tragic happened like a tornado came through.
It bothered me with their response. Other people keep saying my wife doesn't need to find a job, not even part time to be with the baby, but they tell me I need to work 60-70 hours a week and get all the overtime I can to provide. Though we have a good bit of money, we don't have EBT stamps, disability, help from anyone anymore or even any kind of health insurance. So a bit more money could help when medical expenses like this do come up.

Here is basically my point. I see their life and I see mine. The wife stays home with kids all night and all day when they aren't at school. But the husband and father is always gone to work 60-70 hours a week. his entire life repeats like this; oh, work! oh dinner time! oh sleep time! oh day off to shop, do laundry, go to doctors oh lunch time, nap time, dinner time, oh bed time! oh work time! (repeat) That is his life until a vacation comes around to drive for hours across the states to go to worldly things then come back in less than a week.
He has no time personally with his kids except to tell them what to do, to take them for business things but no loving time playing games, studying the word of God, explaining things they need to know unless it involves worldly knowledge like driving a car, handling money and such.
I see all that, and I realize they think I should live like them. But all I see is a family always working, kids just do school work, eat, spend time alone with personal hobbies but have no time to go find friends, then go to sleep and repeat all their life, then they grow up and go into college instead of school, then they start working those 60-70 hours a week as well.
I wouldn't want a life like that. All I see is someone living for worldly treasures, working to survive and survive to work to someday die and everything they have worked for is left here on the earth for someone else. Then I see that I am never there personally with my kids. Sure, for some short break times to eat lunch or dinner, but that is it if I am not telling them to clean up and go to the store or the doctors with me.
Their family is very happy, but that is because they are very proud of their hard work leading to success- but I see it as worldly success, a success for temporary things that will not come with me when I die and it is not work that builds up treasures in Heaven.
This people have so much money, and when they come across family and others like the homeless in need for anything, they ignore them and at the most they will say "I'll pray for you." But they never want to take a step near the homeless. They believe they are a bunch of lowlife's that don't want to work and got homeless because they turned to alcohol and drugs. But really, many homeless people aren't those, and those who are turned to it after becoming homeless. Many homeless people have different reasons and stories and they would get on their feet but it isn't easy without a boost of help.
So they never help anyone because they feel other people can help themselves if they tried hard enough and worked overtime, and they need to save up all the money the possibly can in case they need it or want to use it for something they dream of having. They say their house is worth $300,000, and when their mother's husband died, they took her in, but their mother had to sell their house, then pay companies to build a house onto this families house. They say they wanted that just for their mother, but I think they just wanted to make their house worth thousands more adding onto it, so when their mother dies, they will have the money for themselves to get a more fancy house.
the kids are fine they have, physically, but emotionally I hear and see their emptiness, but as it has gone on their entire life, they are used to it. Their family rarely would ever argue or fight, but that is simply because they are all always working. Even for Christmas last year, I was on my way on my motorcycle, it was all I had to drive then, it was very cold, and a bit rainy, and my tire popped then the motorcycle wouldn't start in middle of the road from the battery being cold and such. Well, I was on my way to their Christmas party 2 hours before it would start, and it was only a 15 minute drive away. I called and told them I am having my motorcycle towed so can someone get me for the party. 40 people attend that party there every single year and have for decades. Every single one of them said they couldn't do it, my uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings, etc. Some said they don't have the gas money, I told them I would pay it. They said they'd need like 20 dollars because of this and that, I told them I would give them 50, they said no, no. I offered 100 and they thought I was stupid. Some said sorry, we have to make green beans. I said it's hours before the party, surely you can get me after they cook. They said no, no, the party will start to begin, sorry. And the excuses go on. They all claim to be Christians. Yet, they can't even get their own family from being out in the winter rain who offers them a lot of money to drive 15 minutes 2 hours before your party? They seem like they want to have the party just for fun, not love and time with family.

When I look at her husbands life, and see all he has become, what he has accomplished, if I could be in his shoes and known how my life would been, I would have taken one of his guns and shot myself in the head, or so I would want to. I'd be ashamed of myself. they argue with worldly perspectives yet their father was a preacher and pastor, they had loving parents, they had an extremely easy going life for them compared to the majority of the world. So I know they don't understand suffering. The worst suffering they could of ever had was some small physical injury or an object getting damaged. They have never lived paycheck to paycheck, never had enemies, never been abused, never arrested, never attacked, no big health issues, no homelessness, nothing except maybe a broken wrist or the cold. So I guess this is why they may not understand why we need to care about other people so much.

I live for God- no myself, not my kids, not my wife, not my friends- God and God alone, but doing so, I care about others that I do live to help them but that is not the reason I am alive today. I believe I need to be there for my kids the same amount of time that I work if not more, and even time alone with my wife as well, and even time with the Lord. If I live like these people in my family say to, sure my family will be very healthy and we'll be ready for anything that money can buy, but they will be alone, not have guidance of a parent, they wont have memories of hanging out, playing together, sharing our hearts and feelings, studying and worshipping the Lord together and working together to help those in need.
I trust the Lord like Israel had to trust God for manna daily, and if they tried to save any of it then it would be spoiled the next day. I can trust the Lord daily to provide. If I had to spend every penny I make every day on food and rent and things to live, I wouldn't worry what would come tomorrow. But that is me. I've been through experiences knowing I can trust the Lord will provide. Doesn't mean it will always be perfect or comfortable, but he always gets me to a better place.

So am I wrong? Is it so bad to take a day off work to get some rest because I don't have thousands saved in the bank and I am sleep deprived? Should I stop caring to make time for my child and just accepting what we need day by day and rather spend pretty much all my life working overtime, taking them to worldly things, buying whatever we want and focus on being better off physically than spiritually living needs?

Boy, I said a lot more than I thought... I talk much more than I need to. That's for sure, but surely that's not a sin.

# 1) You are a grown man...
#2) from what you said. You are a sole provider. If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of your family...

I know I'm going to get at least 2 sides of the story if a few people reply. So I don't have doubts some people wouldn't start arguing somewhere down the road.

Still, this is a very important subject. I feel what I believe about this is right, but I'd like to discuss it.

First basic things to understand about me, I am a married man with one baby together. We live in a place with very cheap rent and yet a great house in good shape. I have a job that I work 12 hours a day for half the month. I make a few thousand a month. My bills add to around $550 including rent, power and car insurance. So with if I even made 2000 a month, after bills, I'd have around 1,450 for food, gas money (gas here is 1.92 today) and simple other things like shampoo, tooth paste and things that are not expensive.

My bank tells me I save hundreds a month average more than I spend.

Last night, I worked 12 hours, and that is on my feet on concrete floor- and as I got home, I couldn't eat from the pain in my teeth. I needed to see the dentist, but all of them are closed this weekend, we had appointments on my days of this week and the pain wasn't that bad until now. It hurt me so bad last night trying to lay down and sleep, that I didn't get a single minute of sleep. I still have 2 days of work ahead of me of those 12 hours, and I am worried I wont get sleep tonight either. I wonder if I will pass out at work, but I am sleep deprived already. Work is a bit dead, not much to do but you still cant sit down and relax. I questioned for some encouragement if I should ask my boss for a day off to see a dentist and get some sleep so in case I cant fall asleep soon enough tonight, I wont be so weak next day for work. But my family told me I need to go to work, forget the pain right now because I need the money. I look at my money, and we have everything we need. Not everything we want, but I am saying we won't roll over and die or go bankrupt anytime soon unless something literally tragic happened like a tornado came through.
It bothered me with their response. Other people keep saying my wife doesn't need to find a job, not even part time to be with the baby, but they tell me I need to work 60-70 hours a week and get all the overtime I can to provide. Though we have a good bit of money, we don't have EBT stamps, disability, help from anyone anymore or even any kind of health insurance. So a bit more money could help when medical expenses like this do come up.

Here is basically my point. I see their life and I see mine. The wife stays home with kids all night and all day when they aren't at school. But the husband and father is always gone to work 60-70 hours a week. his entire life repeats like this; oh, work! oh dinner time! oh sleep time! oh day off to shop, do laundry, go to doctors oh lunch time, nap time, dinner time, oh bed time! oh work time! (repeat) That is his life until a vacation comes around to drive for hours across the states to go to worldly things then come back in less than a week.
He has no time personally with his kids except to tell them what to do, to take them for business things but no loving time playing games, studying the word of God, explaining things they need to know unless it involves worldly knowledge like driving a car, handling money and such.
I see all that, and I realize they think I should live like them. But all I see is a family always working, kids just do school work, eat, spend time alone with personal hobbies but have no time to go find friends, then go to sleep and repeat all their life, then they grow up and go into college instead of school, then they start working those 60-70 hours a week as well.
I wouldn't want a life like that. All I see is someone living for worldly treasures, working to survive and survive to work to someday die and everything they have worked for is left here on the earth for someone else. Then I see that I am never there personally with my kids. Sure, for some short break times to eat lunch or dinner, but that is it if I am not telling them to clean up and go to the store or the doctors with me.
Their family is very happy, but that is because they are very proud of their hard work leading to success- but I see it as worldly success, a success for temporary things that will not come with me when I die and it is not work that builds up treasures in Heaven.
This people have so much money, and when they come across family and others like the homeless in need for anything, they ignore them and at the most they will say "I'll pray for you." But they never want to take a step near the homeless. They believe they are a bunch of lowlife's that don't want to work and got homeless because they turned to alcohol and drugs. But really, many homeless people aren't those, and those who are turned to it after becoming homeless. Many homeless people have different reasons and stories and they would get on their feet but it isn't easy without a boost of help.
So they never help anyone because they feel other people can help themselves if they tried hard enough and worked overtime, and they need to save up all the money the possibly can in case they need it or want to use it for something they dream of having. They say their house is worth $300,000, and when their mother's husband died, they took her in, but their mother had to sell their house, then pay companies to build a house onto this families house. They say they wanted that just for their mother, but I think they just wanted to make their house worth thousands more adding onto it, so when their mother dies, they will have the money for themselves to get a more fancy house.
the kids are fine they have, physically, but emotionally I hear and see their emptiness, but as it has gone on their entire life, they are used to it. Their family rarely would ever argue or fight, but that is simply because they are all always working. Even for Christmas last year, I was on my way on my motorcycle, it was all I had to drive then, it was very cold, and a bit rainy, and my tire popped then the motorcycle wouldn't start in middle of the road from the battery being cold and such. Well, I was on my way to their Christmas party 2 hours before it would start, and it was only a 15 minute drive away. I called and told them I am having my motorcycle towed so can someone get me for the party. 40 people attend that party there every single year and have for decades. Every single one of them said they couldn't do it, my uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings, etc. Some said they don't have the gas money, I told them I would pay it. They said they'd need like 20 dollars because of this and that, I told them I would give them 50, they said no, no. I offered 100 and they thought I was stupid. Some said sorry, we have to make green beans. I said it's hours before the party, surely you can get me after they cook. They said no, no, the party will start to begin, sorry. And the excuses go on. They all claim to be Christians. Yet, they can't even get their own family from being out in the winter rain who offers them a lot of money to drive 15 minutes 2 hours before your party? They seem like they want to have the party just for fun, not love and time with family.

When I look at her husbands life, and see all he has become, what he has accomplished, if I could be in his shoes and known how my life would been, I would have taken one of his guns and shot myself in the head, or so I would want to. I'd be ashamed of myself. they argue with worldly perspectives yet their father was a preacher and pastor, they had loving parents, they had an extremely easy going life for them compared to the majority of the world. So I know they don't understand suffering. The worst suffering they could of ever had was some small physical injury or an object getting damaged. They have never lived paycheck to paycheck, never had enemies, never been abused, never arrested, never attacked, no big health issues, no homelessness, nothing except maybe a broken wrist or the cold. So I guess this is why they may not understand why we need to care about other people so much.

I live for God- no myself, not my kids, not my wife, not my friends- God and God alone, but doing so, I care about others that I do live to help them but that is not the reason I am alive today. I believe I need to be there for my kids the same amount of time that I work if not more, and even time alone with my wife as well, and even time with the Lord. If I live like these people in my family say to, sure my family will be very healthy and we'll be ready for anything that money can buy, but they will be alone, not have guidance of a parent, they wont have memories of hanging out, playing together, sharing our hearts and feelings, studying and worshipping the Lord together and working together to help those in need.
I trust the Lord like Israel had to trust God for manna daily, and if they tried to save any of it then it would be spoiled the next day. I can trust the Lord daily to provide. If I had to spend every penny I make every day on food and rent and things to live, I wouldn't worry what would come tomorrow. But that is me. I've been through experiences knowing I can trust the Lord will provide. Doesn't mean it will always be perfect or comfortable, but he always gets me to a better place.

So am I wrong? Is it so bad to take a day off work to get some rest because I don't have thousands saved in the bank and I am sleep deprived? Should I stop caring to make time for my child and just accepting what we need day by day and rather spend pretty much all my life working overtime, taking them to worldly things, buying whatever we want and focus on being better off physically than spiritually living needs?

hi Xethea,

your situation reminded me of
Psalm 91: 1. He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

And 3) From what you said about that motorcycle incident .. Your family cares not a thing about you. Why should you be bothered even a little bit about what they think...

It's not so much by what they think that bothers me except that they are family, they leave me homeless in great need with no help, but when I have a job and my own life going okay they want to help me more then. They even would leave my wife homeless pregnant in the freezing winter because they don't like how I look and other stupid things.

Even more, they claim to be Christians, they keep trying to put pressure on me and making threats now and then. At a time I had seizures and needed transportation or else I would always be homeless. They were the only ones who would make a deal that if I seek mental counseling they will let me stay and drive me to work. But if I don't they will leave me out homeless. So I went and it didn't ever do any good but only bothered me with that junk, because I know I need Christ not a counselor at some mental place. They told me it would be free. So i took their stupid shots with the mental place saying it would be free, i started to get bills costing me thousands so then when tax time came around all of it was taken away. I feel my family forced that on me or to either go homeless, they lied, so why should my money that I worked all year for be taken away for that junk!? don't tell me no one would be upset about that. So I get put in situations where I have to be treated like crap, threatened, hated and go homeless by my own family who claim to be Christians who set a high example for thousands of people at their chapel- and that is not a Christ like example they are setting. That means many people in this world who see them as a true Christian will get the wrong idea of what a Christian is and how they are to be.

their feelings about me, yeah I can live with it, but with all the countless things that are ungodly and lies and so on, it bothers me a bit.

do you think even most people are perfectly fine with being hated, unloved, cursed at, despised, judged incorrectly and betrayed by their own family and their family making them homeless?
Everyone who has gone through that, I don't see them with a happy face about it. I see depression, anger, sadness and negative feelings.

Do you think Jesus doesn't care and would just tell us not to care if people hate us and treat us badly?

You should be able to take time off for that. I know how it feels in the weekly routine (work,eat,sleep) I've put in 90 hour weeks (7 days) and there's no time for that other important stuff unless you take time off for it. I still have to change a retirement account from a job 3 years ago

What is the secret place of the Most high referring to? By that verse alone, I cannot tell what place that is for sure.

Wow,Your troubles go so much deeper then you had mentioned earlier... Do you need prayer...

I think it means being really close to God. Maybe this will resonate better with you?

Psalm 27: 1. The psalm of David before he was anointed. The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the protector of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?

Is it so bad to take a day off work to get some rest because I don't have thousands saved in the bank and I am sleep deprived?

Should I stop caring to make time for my child and just accepting what we need day by day and rather spend pretty much all my life working overtime, taking them to worldly things, buying whatever we want and focus on being better off physically than spiritually living needs?

No it is not wrong at all. You should probably take a week off to rest and recuperate. In fact you have to find a way to work just 40 hours a week (or less if possible). If that means finding another job, do it.

No, you should make time for your child regardless of what anyone says or thinks. If you would work from Monday to Friday, you could set aside every Saturday for your child, and spend time doing what the child enjoys while you have a day of relaxation.

And how is this person supposed to relax when he is letting his child do what ever they want to do??? LOL... Last time that occurred was when my daughter was a wee child and I could let her loose in a fast food play pen and I could read a book in piece...

That will all sort itself out. First things first.