I'm not sure if you're posting a dating question or a tongues question. Quite confusing.
Tongues is not essential, nor is it even intended for everyone. In fact chances are what you hear labeled as "tongues" is not even used according to biblical standards and actually blatantly defies the biblical command on it. So who knows the true source of it.
As far as dating goes it's going to be extremely difficult to not date and get married. There are a small handful of people that believe in courtship.
Basically it's two people dating, but rejecting the title of dating. Typically they don't go on dates, but rather go with another group of people. They minimize their contact. Or may even only converse if someone else is around.
Theres pretty much little to no physical contact.
I imagine it's pretty rare to find such people anymore. Not to mention finding a group that gets together regularly you both feel comfortable with.
Then the next step, if after a few years things go well, you get engaged and eventually married.
But why you quit dating can play a factor. But most reasons that would stop you from dating are also reasons that would interfere with being in a relationship.
Relationships are a risk. Period. So if you're trying to spare yourself the risk of being hurt then you aren't ready for a relationship.
Relationships are work. So if you're trying to bypass the effort of finding someone then chances are you won't want to put in the effort to make a relationship work, either.
I find most people are more interested in meeting someone, or complaining they haven't met someone, than preparing themselves to be the kind of person that will make a wise choice if they do meet someone. Nor will they take the time to be the kind of person that will make a good spouse, and instead are self assured they don't need to know more on the subject. This includes all the fake "advice" that goes around on the subject and carrying past hurts with them into new relationships.