Thanks for replying to the post. I hadn't made one before so wasn't sure If i was doing it right
I haven't really been in the position to be able to have a good talk to a doctor about it, but how do you tell if it's chemically related or whether it's psychological? Doctors that I've seen seem to jump you with medication the first you express your challenges.. and I've seen the affect they've had on my sister. I can't say I trust their judgement, because shouldn't you find out the cause before giving the treatment? And i've seen the after effects of my friends and family going on and off these drugs and it's not pretty.
I did go see one psychologist as a last resort thing (for me it was) but her way of approaching me spoke volumes of her lack of understanding (psychologically yes, emotionally no). They work great for my sister but I didn't find them helpful for myself. You can't talk freely to people who you don't feel trust in.
As a Christian struggling with social anxiety and depression, it's hard to ever feel competent enough. You're a Christian, you know of hope, and have purpose and a future. But where one part of you knows that, a bigger part of you feels hopeless, and either anxious or depressed. Some days are good, some aren't but everyday those feelings are there. It's like treating water, and you'll have times where u can keep your head above it and times where you can't do it anymore. You feel like a fraud Christian lol.
I'm 24, and even as an adult I couldn't give anyone advise for a child in how to deal with social anxiety. I have no doubt the stress I caused my parents have taken a few years from their life expectancy, haha. As an adult though, you're able to see a bigger picture than as a child, but I still don't see any answer to it. Only thing that keeps me up and about is God, but as I said before it still feels like treading water. It's not something that pops up every now and again, it's a daily challenge. Not something I'm real comfortable talking about, but I know other people experience it too and sometimes you just really feel like reaching out. Honestly, I don't like idea of medication and I don't reckon i'd take it, but somedays you wonder if you're putting it off for the wrong reasons and should. I guess I hold on hope that through Christ I can overcome it, which I have come far from a child, most days you can keep the lid on it but it's always waiting to explode out.
In terms of anxiety I'd say it's different to depression, although in my case related. Anxiety through Christ I feel i can sit on most the time, although it's always there. Depression though feels like a hole or emptiness in you. Somedays the way it can respond to situations is scary and you don't feel any control over it. For example I tried out babysitting for a friend, lasted a couple months maybe, but I ended up needing to quit for the safety of the child and me mentally. I couldn't deal with the anxiety it brought on that i got to the point that I felt emotionally dead inside every time I went to visit; Anxiety would buzz, but a big part of you could care less about anything. A scary feeling, especially when the parents trust you and don't see it themselves. That child is now heading to kinder next year. I still go visit them and play with her. She remembers me and likes me, and I can't but feel each time i see her that i couldn't have made a better decision for her to get a new babysitter.
I guess, I want to have a better understanding of where medication fits in because as I said before it feels like the doctors are jumping me as soon as i get through the door. It makes me question whether my decision to not go the way of medication is the right one. God is good and I trust he has a plan, I don't feel like it's a light decision though and I don't know know the answer. Everyone's advise is much appreciated thanks