Am I Invisible or Am I Not Weak Enough

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VincentG

VincentG

Prodigal son
#42
Aug 25, 2018
1,757
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#42
Desdichado said:
Best answer. I would add that part of your frustration may have to do with the cultural climate we are in.

As a culture, we've done a real number on the factors that get a couple together and keep them together. Of course men are largely interested in young, ditsy women (and not for marriage). There's a lot less risk involved on multiple levels. You're up a long, long creek.

But here's the thing- prevailing circumstances do not apply to the Christian as much as they do the non-Christian. Being saved by Grace and appointed to the purpose of the Great Commission, we're looking for partners best suited to that purpose. The kind of man you want to marry is more than likely out there, he's just hard to find. You'll have to depend on Providence.

I'm not saying everybody is destined to pair up. Some of us will die alone. But if we must die alone, we will die alone with a purpose and not the distraction of a bad marriage.

Go in peace, sister.
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If your a Christian...you are never alone.
 
Hallmark04

Hallmark04

Member
#43
Oct 29, 2018
48
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#43
It has been interesting trying to date at my age. It really does come down to trusting God to put the one HE wants into my life. I simply have faith that if God is working on my heart and life, He is doing the same for the man He wants in my life.

I'll be ready when he (and God is).
 
LightBright

LightBright

Senior Member
#44
Mar 18, 2017
2,167
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#44
Lighthearted said:
When you're a woman in your 40's you're probably set in your ways a lot like a man in his 60's. Maybe I'm alone in thinking that a strong minded, knowledgable, and Godly woman with a good sense of humor would be a great catch...but instead you feel invisible. I'm seriously thinking if you're young and a little ditsy, then you've got it made. Where are the men that really want that equal minded partner? Just wondering.
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I seem very ignorant, childish, and oblivious but I can be a very knowledgeable, serious, and i tend to pay close attention to things I just don't make my emotions or even my knowledge very obvious. I say that for the sake of the people you call ditsy, they could be very different then you think. Anyway I'm still very young, only 18, and i would like a smart girl and even an intimidating one but not all guys are like that, maybe it's easier to lead someone that isn't smarter or more spiritual then you. Maybe guys are insecure and don't want a woman that makes them feel even more like a failure, it definitely makes sense. I think it would be interesting to find someone on equal, or even higher ground then me. They'd probably underestimate me and it would be pretty fun to get better not only for myself but also to beat her and prove I'm not one to just sit down and take Ls, but hey that takes work, confidence, and a tad bit of determination. Plus most women want someone who is leading them, whether they know it or not and it's harder to approach a girl like that. I also think ditsy girls might just be attractive, it's kinda adorable imo. But I'd still shoot for the intimidating one, it's harder, more interesting, and i like friendly competition. Not only that but if i mess up or something she'll let me know I'm lame lol. Oh oh, and I'm kinda manipulative so i could play like I'm slow until i actually need to be smart and i like being fairly unpredictable it makes flirting more enjoyable too but I'm rambling I'll shut up now.
 
T

theanointedsinner

Guest
#45
#45
seems like trusting God can mean
you don't have to aggressively pursue someone, trust in God's timing, and that has something to do with character building
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#46
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
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#46
CatHerder said:
Women who are kind of ditzy often come across as more approachable - there is little fear in going up to them and asking them out. Even a "no" response will be met with a lot of gentle flattery and giggles, or maybe a hug and a "that's so sweet, honey, but I'm with someone." even if it is not the truth. So men know that there is little risk in asking out someone like that.

Women like that tend to bore me, though. And yes, strong minded, knowledgeable, and godly women with a good sense of humor are a great catch, but they are hard to get to know. Also, some women who consider themselves strong-minded are really just loud and caustic. This is considered "strong" by our society's standards - but our society is quite warped. I am making no assumptions about you, personally, but self-assessment never hurts anyone who reads this.

As I stated before - these quality women like yourself are hard to get to know, despite the many rewards. They are often engaged in whatever activity they are doing, be it work, or running errands, and are not really demonstrating that they are open to chit-chat with a stranger of the opposite sex. In fact, they are often put off by it. And at church, they are usually accompanied by a gaggle of other women, making it hard to talk one-on-one. So I'll turn your question around: How does a man meet and express interest in a woman like you?

If I were in Ohio or you were in Northern California, I'd have no qualms asking you out for coffee (or better yet, a glass of wine) just to see what happens. A "yes" would be great - a "no" would be okay too. Having survived a divorce that I wanted no part of, I consider that a much bigger rejection than declining the invitation to a date - so I know I can manage.

However, I am also big on friends first before dating. I'm not a big believer in the "friend zone" idea. I think there is a different type of risk than rejection here though: one makes the risk of making things awkward with one's circle of friends - one risks even losing her as a friend if interest isn't mutual. Ah, but what is life without risks?
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I had never seen these comments until now...guess I'll be resurrecting dead threads like other friends on CC and answer you before the year is over. Prescriptions are good for a full year so...lol

I'm easily approachable. All you have to do is walk up say hello...smile...be genuine and straight forward...say whats on your mind.
It's not about looks for me. It's about kindness, a sense of humor, and having the guts to take a step of faith.
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#47
Oct 17, 2016
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#47
IDEAtor said:
I imagine a fair number of male managers could be your type.
If they are climbing the ladder, growing their income or reach;
and if they are dedicated to helping those they manage to achieve better,
then surely one of those are the type for you.

"Lord, help Lighthearted to meet someone who will work well with her in life and witness."
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Hi bud : )
You have gotten to know me a little since this post....you know I'm laid back and easily approachable! So bro...where you hanging out these days? Still in the chat rooms? I hope you're doing well and enjoying the Lord's blessings!
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#48
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
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#48
theanointedsinner said:
seems like trusting God can mean
you don't have to aggressively pursue someone, trust in God's timing, and that has something to do with character building
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I have resorted to just that my friend but I talk to anyone willing to talk back....so in essence, I'm not hiding away. My Godly man may have been found. Time will tell...actions and open doors will conclude the truth.
 
N

NoNameMcgee

Guest
#49
#49
Lighthearted said:
Where are the men that really want that equal minded partner? Just wondering.
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*raises hand*

I feel blessed to have found a strong woman who loves God but is also humble and patient....

She is older than me but she isn't scared to admit when shes wrong or when she thinks I am....


She was anything but invisible to me... she shined brightly so I went after her until she caved in....😆


that being said
I am far more concerned about being equally loving
keeping the same standards to eachother
and being equally focused on our Lord

than how our cognition or strength or age compare to each other

I don't need her to prove anything to me... if she is wise it shows in her walk
(and it does ... she is wonderful)
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#50
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
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#50
NoNameMcgee said:
*raises hand*

I feel blessed to have found a strong woman who loves God but is also humble and patient....

She is older than me but she isn't scared to admit when shes wrong or when she thinks I am....


She was anything but invisible to me... she shined brightly so I went after her until she caved in....😆


that being said
I am far more concerned about being equally loving
keeping the same standards to eachother
and being equally focused on our Lord

than how our cognition or strength or age compare to each other

I don't need her to prove anything to me... if she is wise it shows in her walk
(and it does ... she is wonderful)
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You're a great young man and it sounds like you've both been blessed! Happy for you little bro!
 
theanointedwinner

theanointedwinner

Well-known member
#53
Nov 6, 2018
2,058
1,125
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#53
Miss @Lighthearted I wish to inform you my issue with PM. That there is a one sided restriction where I'm not able to PM to you, due to the new member setup, and I hope that you can take the initiative to send me a PM.

Thank you for reading this and taking the initiative,

signed,
anointed
 
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