Can no longer separate sex from sin

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
I'm about to pass out History Princess. 0400 comes too soon. Good night.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,057
3,170
113
Wow, you actually took the time to think about what I meant in these posts. Thank you.

I've been told God is probably protecting me since I've never dated, protecting me from getting my heart broken. I don't want to be protected. I'm not a baby anymore. And I'm sick of everyone treating me like their ward. As for never getting my heart broken, I say, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

And I'm sick of trying to see any benefits of having Aspergers. All I see is that it's made me unable to have even the simplest emotional connections with people. All it's done is make me lonely, isolated, frustrated, and freakish. I feel like I'm wasting my young years by trying to be happy and fighting depression and loneliness, years I will never get back.

I honestly would rather have cancer than Aspergers. At least with cancer people see and care about the pain you're in. But loneliness? You're on your own. I'm busy with my own life. Who cares if loneliness has the same effect on the body as smoking 15 cigarettes a day? Who cares if it affects your health? I've got my own life to live. I'm much too important to take any time to help you carry your burden as Christians are supposed to do.

Both my Aspergers and my sex drive are just crosses and burdens.
I get much of what you're saying. Felt many of the same ways.
I even get both sides of the coin with helping others. We have a nextdoor neighbor. She is sad, lonely and clingy. While we all feel sympathy towards her and, basically, shes pretty nice, her problems cause her to act out on ways that turn people off.
Normally someone like that I would feel a desire to help, but shes such a drain that I instead avoid her at all costs. I am simply not suited for such things.

I've been the one that was draining to help before as well, just for different reasons than my neighbor.

So I know both sides. And both are hard sides to be on.
But it is true many people are simply too lazy or self absorbed, or both, to put any thought, time or effort into other people. In fact I've been discussing this recently with people.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
I get much of what you're saying. Felt many of the same ways.
I even get both sides of the coin with helping others. We have a nextdoor neighbor. She is sad, lonely and clingy. While we all feel sympathy towards her and, basically, shes pretty nice, her problems cause her to act out on ways that turn people off.
Normally someone like that I would feel a desire to help, but shes such a drain that I instead avoid her at all costs. I am simply not suited for such things.

I've been the one that was draining to help before as well, just for different reasons than my neighbor.

So I know both sides. And both are hard sides to be on.
But it is true many people are simply too lazy or self absorbed, or both, to put any thought, time or effort into other people. In fact I've been discussing this recently with people.
A lot of specialists have been saying there's a loneliness epidemic and that loneliness rates have tripled. And given how much we use technology and places like Facebook and Twitter while at the same time living in a hyper-individualistic society, I'm not surprised.

Technology can't replace actual human interaction. Technology is not a person. It has no emotions or feelings and nothing resembling a human. Even though we're all "connected," we're becoming a world of lonely isolated people. Technology is giving us the illusion of being together, but in the end, it's ultimately driving us further apart.
 
T

toinena

Guest
Technology can help you connect with like minded people. CC is an example of that. To go from open forum to more close knit friendships is not always easy, but it is done, so for me meeting some of the people here cured my urgent lonliness and helped me get out of depression and also to be right with God. Technology can also be abused, and some are preying on lonely hearts, but if you have your guards up you will see a virtual hug is better than no hug!
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
Technology can help you connect with like minded people. CC is an example of that. To go from open forum to more close knit friendships is not always easy, but it is done, so for me meeting some of the people here cured my urgent lonliness and helped me get out of depression and also to be right with God. Technology can also be abused, and some are preying on lonely hearts, but if you have your guards up you will see a virtual hug is better than no hug!
I suppose. But still. Simply hugging someone releases chemicals that make you feel safe and secure. And if only my family weren't so paranoid about the internet, even though I've told them I'm not making friends the traditional way. I've had online safety beaten into my head from elementary school, but they seem to keep forgetting that.
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
I want you to tell me about him.
You've probably heard of him and the Battle of Hastings in 1066, considered one of if not the most important in England's history. In England, pretty much everyone and their grandmother knows about him. He was after all the first Norman king of England, and whose monarchy is currently the one on the throne.

He was born in 1028 in Normandy, which is north of France and just across the Channel from England. He was the illegitimate son of Robert I, Duke of Normandy (hence his dreaded nickname among the Norman nobles, William the Bastard). William was only 6 or 7 years old when his father died. Since Robert never married or had any legitimate children, and given that William was his only son despite his illegitimacy, Robert outwitted the Norman nobles he frequently warred with by leaving everything to William.

For the next decade, there were more than a few attempts on William's life. His tutor was killed while he was out riding, and his steward was murdered in William's own room. Fortunately, despite the assassination attempts, he grew to be tall and tough. In 1052, at the age of 23, he married the 21-year-old Matilda of Flanders, whose grandfather was the king of France.

Such an advantageous match brought William more land, power, and connections. And his union with Matilda bore 9 or 10 children. Even then, his rivals challenged him, but he swiftly put them into line. But there was much more for him to come.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
You've probably heard of him and the Battle of Hastings in 1066, considered one of if not the most important in England's history. In England, pretty much everyone and their grandmother knows about him. He was after all the first Norman king of England, and whose monarchy is currently the one on the throne.

He was born in 1028 in Normandy, which is north of France and just across the Channel from England. He was the illegitimate son of Robert I, Duke of Normandy (hence his dreaded nickname among the Norman nobles, William the Bastard). William was only 6 or 7 years old when his father died. Since Robert never married or had any legitimate children, and given that William was his only son despite his illegitimacy, Robert outwitted the Norman nobles he frequently warred with by leaving everything to William.

For the next decade, there were more than a few attempts on William's life. His tutor was killed while he was out riding, and his steward was murdered in William's own room. Fortunately, despite the assassination attempts, he grew to be tall and tough. In 1052, at the age of 23, he married the 21-year-old Matilda of Flanders, whose grandfather was the king of France.

Such an advantageous match brought William more land, power, and connections. And his union with Matilda bore 9 or 10 children. Even then, his rivals challenged him, but he swiftly put them into line. But there was much more for him to come.
Being from Normandy, was he directly descended of Vikings?
 
Feb 20, 2016
1,154
266
83
Being from Normandy, was he directly descended of Vikings?
I'm not sure. They spoke French, and France is considered a Romance language, meaning it evolved from Roman Latin. And I forgot to mention, to William's credit, unlike his father, he was never known to have taken up any mistresses, which (unfortunately) tended to be common for European noblemen.

In 1051, Edward the Confessor, the Saxon king of England, sent word to William, his cousin, that he had made him his successor in case he had no sons of his own. But William was not without his rivals for the throne. His most bitter was Edward's brother-in-law, Harold Godwinson. He was just as tough as William, and was the oldest son of England's most powerful and feared family.

In Edward's later years, Harold and his family did all they could to flatter the king into giving Harold the throne. And it seemed to have worked, once Edward died in 1066, Harold was crowned King of England. And as you can imagine, when William heard the news, he wasn't very happy.

Determined to have his revenge and his throne, William gathered an army of Normans, and they sailed across the channel to England. It's said that once they reached the shore, William gathered two handfuls of sand, and shouted to his men, "See how I take the land of England with my bare hands!"

Harold was only months into his reign, and he had not only William threatening him, but also his own brother Tostig, and Harald III the viking ruler of Norway. But while Harold's forces quickly dispatched Tostig and Harald, he'd greatly underestimated William.

The events that led to William becoming the first Norman king of England, starting with Edward making him his heir, are depicted on a 230 ft long embroidery called the Bayeux Tapestry, which was commissioned by William after he became king. Plus, it's amazing that's survived for almost a thousand years, mostly intact.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fe/Tapisserie_de_Bayeux_31109.jpg

According to the tapestry, the two armies, almost equal in number, met at Senlac Hill in Sussex. The Saxons at first seemed to have the upper hand, given that they knew the land. At one point, someone cried out that William had fallen, but William quickly got back up. He threw back his helmet so his troops could see he was still alive, and he ordered them to finish off the Saxon army.

Through a series of feigned retreats, the Norman army lured the Saxons to isolated areas at the bottom of the Hill, where the Normans hemmed them in and unleashed on them. Two of Harold's brothers perished, followed by Harold himself, supposedly by being shot clean through the eye to the brain by an arrow. Upon hearing of the death of their king, the Saxons fled into the woods. But even then, the Normans followed them.

Harold's body was buried without ceremony on the beach where William had landed. In fact, when Harold's mother offered William gold to reclaim her son's body, she was refused.

But despite William's victory in the Battle of Hastings, he knew that he wouldn't hold on to England without capturing and taking control of England's most important towns and cities, especially London. And in fact, by the time he got to London, his reputation had become so feared that they surrendered merely after William and his army encircled the city.

After which, William met with the kingdom's leading nobles and archbishops, and they swore an oath of loyalty. Finally, on Christmas Day 1066, in Westminster Abbey, William was crowned the rightful, and first Norman king of England.

But even then, there were rebellions from the Saxons for the next five years. The most ruthless counterattack from the Norman army was at York, where hundreds if not thousands of Saxons were massacred.

But despite his fearsome reputation as a warrior king, William also had castles built throughout the English countryside, the ruins of which can still be seen. He also constructed the Tower of London. He brought concepts like common law and a centralized government to England for the first time. And of course, had the Normans not come with their French language, English as we know it now would probably have sounded very different.

After reigning for 21 years, William went on a campaign defending his Duchy in Normandy, which he still had despite becoming king of England, and from either illness or injuries sustained in battle, he died in 1087.

Surprisingly, on his deathbed, he expressed remorse for the way he'd treated the Saxons and made them second-class citizens: "I fell upon the English of the northern counties like a raving lion. I subjected them to the calamity of a cruel famine, and by doing so, became the barbarous murderer of many thousands, young and old."

In the end, he was entombed in the Abbey of Saint-Étienne, located in Caen, Normandy. The original tomb was destroyed in 1562, during the French Wars of Religion, during which William's bones were scattered and lost. Only one thigh bone was left, and that's all that's left of him in a new tomb that was constructed for it in the same Abbey, and is the current one there today.

Forgot to mention, he left the duchy of Normandy to his oldest son, Robert. And since William's second son Richard had died 12 years before William, he passed the crown of England down to his third son, William II (Called "Rufus" for his red hair).
 

Aldg19

Well-known member
May 11, 2021
579
309
63
And by the way, this is all coming from someone who went through a huge Beatles craze in high school. And not just their early stuff. While everyone in my school was listening to Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers, I was listening to the whole Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band album.
I loved Hannah Montana as a kid and still love the Jonas Brothers oh my goodness I miss my childhood so much. I still love Miley Cyrus.
 

Aldg19

Well-known member
May 11, 2021
579
309
63
As a young adult woman on here I have definitely decided to stay pure until marriage to have sex because I wanna wait until marriage because there culture throws sex at us as a normal thing to do it’s sick. On the flip side of things waiting for marriage to have sex is biblical and there are so many verses that talks about this. I can’t wait to date or the one that God has for me. I hate watching the tv shows that show people having sex it’s sick and it shows how sick our culture is the world needs Jesus it’s need the hands and feet of Jesus. I love watching friends but sometimes it’s sick when they want to have sex.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Girls in my school at year 6 think kissing is disgusting.

I am inclined to agree, that many boys do not actually know the right way to kiss lol.
 
Feb 16, 2021
17
20
3
I'll take a stab at this, despite having not been a virgin for a long, long time.

This scripture came to mind
Isaiah 5:20 -
What sorrow for those who say that evil is good and good is evil, that dark is light and light is dark, that bitter is sweet and sweet is bitter.
To dismiss the notion that sex is, by it's very creation, not evil (bad, wrong, dirty, whatever) is to dismiss God's claims of what is good and what is evil. Sex, in the sense God intended it is not dirty, evil, wrong,etc... period. To say otherwise is to go against God's own words.
Either you have focused too much, or been mislead, into believing that it's an all or nothing topic and thus contradicting God.

Whatever notion that a virgin should be a 'vixen' on her wedding night does not come from God either. If anyone has told you that they're an idiot and giving you false beliefs. If you came up with it by yourself then it sounds like you are presuming what others expect in such a context and therefore speaking for others. It's pretty difficult to speak for strangers and get it right.
I can state, for a fact, if i ever married a virgin i would not expect her to be a vixen. Quite the opposite in fact and would enjoy being fortunate enough to share such experiences with the person i love.
Anyone who expects you to be a vixen on the first night is basically saying 'never even date me'. So avoid those creeps, because they do Not speak for everyone.
In fact I'd wager to say the experience of not knowing is what God intended. It may be awkward but it also be fun, if not taken too seriously.

I have heard of people commenting on the very thing you are saying, and i can understand. But also bear in mind part of your belief is affected by your lack of experience. Reading about it is nothing like engaging in it for real in the mental and emotional sense. So what it is to you now, and what it will be to you after some time with a husband will drastically alter your views.

My suggestion, relax. If you meet a guy where you feel his attitude/behavior will make things worse, get rid of him.



Another big issue is within the people labeled Christian. We do have some that wander deeply into religious territory and those are usually the ones using guilt and manipulation to control people in regards to sin. It sounds like you've been exposed to some of that.
On the other hand we have people on the opposite end of the spectrum that believe sex to be casual, or under certain circumstances, ok before marriage.
You get these two conflicting messages and i can see where it would leave someone in the mental state you are in. Perhaps swing your views to less extremes, rather than be affected by extremists.

By the way, it's pretty much expected that a new bride (and groom) be nervous for their honeymoon (assuming it's both or eithers first time). That's part of the enjoyment.
What a brilliant and nuanced response!!Listen to Ugly Guest!:)